why in relationships do women lose there passion after kids?

Question

yeah yeah i know your tired,baby been crying etc etc. but dont you think you should still make an extra effort to satisfy your husband/partner.was chatting in work about it and its allways the bloody womens fault fgs we were good enough to give you the children you craved .now do your duty..

pmsl no i for one am not the father of a new born are kids are 8 and 12 and when we do on the often to rare ocassion get down to the wild thing its great she loves it as i am a great lover,and she comes like a wild thing so no problem with the actual sex but i want it at least 5 or 6 times a week.but she wants it less often.dont quite understand as i can tell by her bodily reactions she loves it but twice a week aint enough,sorry if i unitentionally mislead anybody.when its there its great but it aint there enough.

Answer 1

cos they get fat and ugly

Answer 2

There is definately something you are missing here. Ignore all the critics. I understand how you feel but I'm guessing there is another reason why you feel bitter towards her for this?

I think what you need to do is pull your weight too! Its all too easy to say its the womans fault etc.

But consider this, not only has she but you have both been through a MASSIVE life changing event! Probably the best type you will ever experience in your life! Give yourself and her some gratitude and respect for getting this far!

However as in all relationships this is where the real work starts (as you say), but bearing in mind she has probably put on some weight (due to baby and caring for baby) now is the time to shine as a father by helping! Anything and everything you can do at this point will not only give you satisfaction but it will to some extent hopefully help fix the wedge that seems to have come between you and your wife.

She is probably feeling fat, ugly, exhausted among many other feelings. Now is the time she needs comfort, reassurance and more importantly help!

Try and talk to her (even if its 10 minutes in the adverts of corrie!) whenever you can and try to ask her why. Alternatively you could try and do little things that don't seem like much but will make a massive difference (which you probably are doing already!).

Looking after the little one is THE most important thing at this stage, for example on a Saturday morning is a god send!

If she's tired, swap over and let her get some rest. Make meals, get headache tablets ;-) The list is endless...

But if you do one thing please consider how you would react if the situation was reversed? Not only this but what you're doing now and if you could or even should do more to help!

It's hard but its so easily lost at this point, get communicating!

HTH's

Answer 3

This is a tough question. On the one hand, you've got to try very hard to understand her position. If she doesn't want it, then she doesn't want it. Asking her over and over is likely to actually make the problem worse.
On the other hand, she also has to try very hard to understand your position. You are equally important here.

It's like surfing. BOTH feet have to land on the board at the exact SAME TIME, or you'll just WIPE OUT!! You're going to be fish food!

BOTH people have to communicate and make the exact SAME AMOUNT of effort, or you'll end up getting a divorce!

Stop, step back, take a deep breath and really talk to eachother about it. You MUST compromise. If you cannot do so, you will eventually get a divorce.

One more thing. I love all these ladies who give half-assed answers like: "Oh you stupid man! Just because a girl blah blah blah!"

That shows just how unwilling some people are to compromise. Notice how I didn't say "how unwilling some WOMEN are to compromise"???

I am a man, and I KNOW how to compromise. WOMEN: Are you strong enough to compromise with YOUR man? Am I making you angry? Does the truth hurt?

Or are you a kind and caring person who can really talk? Can you look at yourself objectively? Or will you just call me another stupid man?

I don't think women are stupid. No matter WHAT anyone says. But I DO insist my wife make the same effort I do, or the whole thing is just a waste of time.

Answer 4

Well, with an attitude like that - you are just like another kid to boot! Just as demanding!!

I have 3 kids aged 14, 9 and 7 and up until recently worked 2 jobs and now have 1 job. I also take care of kids, laundry, housework, worry about finances, pay bills etc, general upkeep of house. I do have a hobby but I haven't time to indulge myself!! In summer the garden gets added to that list! By the time kids get to bed around 9 pm for little ones, the eldest being eldest still humming around at 11 pm and certainly isn't sleeping by midnight. If I wanted a raunchy bed time I would need to plan for middle of the night for which I would end up too knackered the remainder of the week!

Yes I do like my nookie but would say the by the time I get to bed, it is an effort!! Sleep deprivation overrides nookie any day! Yes, you may work full time or whatever, but haven't you every considered helping her around the house, with the kids etc - even offering to deal with the kids while she has a long soak in the bath by candle light etc. Make sure kitchen's tidy, perhaps a washing load in the machine is on etc so that she knows she doesn't have to do that after a long soak cos there is nothing like household chores to put a woman out of the mood - well it does me!!

Just my tuppence worth and hey any other men reading this message may take on board what I am saying.

Answer 5

They say kids are the best form of contraception!, can you get the kids to stay out for a couple of nights? or spend a night in a hotel? the change of scene maybe all she needs, a night out with all your friends( hers and yours) will help her unwind. Thanks for blaming it on the women though!, and its not our duty too give sex all the time especially when you've got a man who demands it! I would feel less sexy and more like a doormat if my fella demanded it, and not all women 'crave' kids, although we're surposed to feel 'maternal' not all of us do. My partner wanted us to have kids and now Im pregnant with our first and I dont feel like having sex all the time, I just dont feel sexy enough, what with the huge belly, a toe under my rib! and the constant moving round, and when we do have sex I dont seem to enjoy it as much coz I can fell the baby moving around inside. I miss the old me!.

Answer 6

women are 24/7 running round after kids,babies etc. sometimes when theyve had a hard day they dont seem interested. Its your job to try getting them in the mood with a massage or something. NOTE# women dont always like sex first thing in the morning#

Answer 7

If you are serious, then take an active role in romancing your wife. Plan nights out. Or arrange for babysitting with the grandparents and have a weekend at home, of sleeping in, lingering showers etc. A woman can only do so much and please so many people. You reap what you sow. Give her what she needs in order to please you. It is a game of give and take.
And please...duty? If you used that with me, I'd cut you off too. Look at your wife differently and treat her well or else you lose.

Answer 8

try helping the women more just cos we at home all day with kids dont mean we aint been working just like you at work so come home and offer to cook tea or look after baby for hour while she has a break !!! will help boost her sex drive

Answer 9

Because they are tired. try romancing sometime , get a babysitter and take her dining movie and some drinks than she remember what it was like before the kids came around do this every now and than.

Answer 10

LMAO

With an attitude like that, I can see why you aren't getting anything any more.

Time to grow up and be a man. Your little boy "gimme, gimme now" days are long gone once there are children.

Answer 11

Both parties need loving stimulation to put the romance back. No romance, no passion.