This is something I have never really talked about except to my doctor. I can't even believe I am disclosing it on the internet. I am 27 y-o. I grew up in a home with extended family members. At age 12 (premenstrual) I was raped by my uncle and I didnot realize what really happened to me until during my teenage years when I learning about my body and sexuality etc. When I eventually told my mother she was so mad at me and blamed me for it. I have been carrying around this shame for so long. The thing is during that time I was infected with venereal warts. I feel like I don't even have a future right now. I feel so cheated. I would have loved to get married and have a family but I really don't know what my chances are. I feel so suicidal at times because I am at the age where my friends are marrying and moving on with their lives. I have never really disclosed this any of my friends nor date for any extended period of time. I really don't know what to do. Help me!
2007-01-07 22:45:57 · 9 answers · asked by Lady Mandeville 6 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I just want to tell you how sorry i am that this happened to you. It's not your fault and your mum had no right to blame you. I was raped too so i know what that feels like and i was also told that the rape was my fault, which i now realise wasn't. And you should feel proud that you can talk about this because it helps you to grow stronger and get through this.
The second part, i'm not so sure about, you can ask your doctor, it may be treatable. But i just want you to know that not all guys are assholes and you cant live your whole life being scared, just be precautious. I have found a guy who is amazing, he's been there for me when ever i need him, i trust him so much, i'm not ready for sex and he understands that. I hope you too can find a guy who loves you and will be there for you so you can tell him what happened and maybe you will get the family you want.
You do have a future, you need to look past the present. And if you can't have children naturally then there are other ways.
Good luck and i'm so sorry
x
2007-01-07 23:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by ★☆✿❀ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have to face the fact that it already happened. You shouldn't blame yourself 'cause as you said you weren't even aware that it was an act of rape at that time. About the venereal warts, do you still have them? If not, then you should consider moving on. It's only communicable when the lesions are there. If they're still there, then have a gynecologist examine you so that you will be prescribed of the proper treatment. I know it's been a traumatic experience for you but if you really want to settle down and raise a family, you must conquer these fears first. If you won't, you'll probably end up having a broken family. Sex is an important aspect in married life. Face your issues today. Time is running out. Good luck with that. God bless you! :-)
2007-01-07 22:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by loise17 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for your pain. it is important that you know, a child is NEVER responsible for the idiotic, demoralizing taking of a child's innocence and trust by a worthless adult.
you need to seek out some counseling, check with your local hospital or women's support group. you need to talk this out and understand.
you also need to see a gyn for the warts. is there a planned parenthood in your area?
you can get by this.
what i have found helpful in traumatic situations, is to sit down, write a letter to the person who has caused the trauma. then, after you have written down everything you want them to know, how they hurt you, destroyed your self worth, deceived you, burn it. this helps let the feelings go. as long as you hold these feelings in, that person or persons in your case, your uncle and your mother, they still have a hold on you.
you can get by this. i am sure you are a wonderful young lady
blessings to you
2007-01-07 22:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard. your mother dint help you, but you have not the pest. you can find a fine man, and after a while talk to him. he will understand.
to be abused is nothing easy to forget. maybe go to a philologist, that may help you get out of you head all those negatives thoughts, and see the future is not that ugly.
please go to a specialist, or you are going nuts with no reason. the worst to do is swallow it up alone and get the wrong meaning of things
2007-01-07 23:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not extremely have any secrets and techniques. the way i see it really is, whats carried out contained in the darkish is going to come back to the gentle in the destiny besides. and that i'm no longer a very complicated human being in any respect if I honestly were keeping some thing in and someone says some thing about it, my facial expressions and body language will supply it away. the biggest secret that i tried to keep become that one among my suitable associates become dishonest on his lady friend with a minimum of five different ladies. He saved threatening me now to not tell her and he or she saved performing like each little thing become so ideal between them. I saved telling him that if he did not tell her that i might want to because i become drained of keeping his sh*t in b/c it become stressing me out. So it saved happening and he ended up procuring her a diamond ring and he or she flashed it in all of us's faces (and also you would possibly want to tell that there have been some those that basically wanted to blurt out "stupid woman he's dishonest on you, an identical ring he gave you he gave his different ho very last week"), so I did and do not experience sorry about it one bit. Yeah my chum become pissed at me yet i knew he wasn't even going to objective to wrestle me. Then he prevented her for the total day (i advised her that morning) so i eventually got here upon him hiding contained in the locker room and advised him "he favor to get his sh*t jointly, supply up performing like somewhat b*tch, and confer consisting of her head to head." So he did and they broke up, yet i become satisfied because i did not have that rigidity on me anymore. How i have been given contained in the middle of it contained in the first position, i do not even extremely comprehend yet i had to get my a** out of it someway.
2016-12-28 09:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a gynea, go and get counselling, tell someone who you
meet the truth about the STD, if they care for you they might
not mind, do not feel guilty as this was not your fault..............
Put your foot down with your mother, she should stand by you
no matter what.......
2007-01-07 22:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by gorglin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to start dating again, are you scared that what your uncle did to you will happen again? you have to start dating again because then you will never get married.
2007-01-07 22:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by EYEZ GONNA KILL YOOO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there no medicine that you can go on for it?!
2007-01-07 22:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by Heather K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell a phiscoatrist!!!!!!! they can really help people!!!!! good luck!
2007-01-07 22:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋