We have been happily married with a very active sex life for 12 years. Of late my husband insists on watching porn videos with me before we make love. He says it helps his libido.
Is this natural ? I mean I am from a religious family and I feel it is wrong. But if it helps him I am not sure.
Is there anybody out there in a similar predicament ?
2007-01-07 21:01:14 · 29 answers · asked by snoopertrooper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is okay. We have a locked drawer that would make a hooker blush from all the things we have inside it. But make sure he knows that you will not tolerate him wanting a 3 some, that will ruin your relationship no matter how long you are married. Maybe get some sexy lingure to wear for him or buy some special lotions. Hes getting older and may need a *boost* and thats fine but if it gets out of control for you, let him know. Tell him you dont mind that much of it but you do not want to go overboard
2007-01-07 21:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know my ex used to look at porn on the internet, and it was fine with me, but I wouldn't be watching this stuff with him. I just feel it's kind of too personal of a thing (I have watched porn in private - just wouldn't be comfortable sharing the experience with someone else). Don't be afraid to gently say no, if it's something you're uncomfortable with. Some couples really enjoy watching porn together - but it's not for everyone. One doesn't even have to be religious to be uncomfortable with the idea. Ask him what else can you do that might help his libido - maybe you guys can come up with some tricks that will be enjoyable for both of you.
2007-01-07 21:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a males point of view - it is normal for a guy to be visual creature. We indeed get turned on by visual stimulation. As other people have said in prior posts - talk to your husband. Ask him why he feels the need to watch porn. Would it be better if you did dress up and role play a bit?
I am going through some stuff in my life at the moment and all i can say is communication is the key. Ive been toghether 8 years - married for 4 . I nearly lost my marriage as i didnt communicate how i felt.
Communicate Communicate Communicate !
2007-01-07 21:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by Marvin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think watching porno is healthy for any relationship. Watching other people have raw sex, doesn't turn me on at all. Men, on the other hand, will watch dogs do it and get turned on. In a healthy relationship, there are certain enhancers that can be used, like soft toys, and love story's. Hard knock out porn, not the way to go for a married couple. I get turned on just thinking about my man, and he's 735 miles away. Imagine how I would be if he were closer!
2007-01-08 01:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a person who believes sex is just for the purpose of having children then i can see how this might be a problem. But, sex with your spouse should be an intimate, fun experience. Have fun and play with your spouse. It is actually a compliment that he is asking you to join him rather than sneaking and watching porn when you are at the grocery store or out at a girlfriends. I say go for it and have fun!
2007-01-07 22:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by denise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How wonderful that he is open enough to want you there. Most men go off to the den. Could you imagine one of the kids walking in on THAT? A very active sex life is a great thing. Whats a little video. He's your honey and he loves you!
2007-01-07 21:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watching porn before sex isnt bad. Spices things up, gives new ideas, and also helps with role-playing. Now if youre religious about it, its wrong to watch porn.
2007-01-07 21:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by chickenboyalabama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eeewww, you have carnal knowledge of your own husband? And you call yourself a Christian? Don't you know that sex is something that should only be done for two reasons: 1) you got married this day; and 2) you are trying to get pregnant...
Sex is dirty and filthy, and you should be ashamed of yourself for giving in to this man's disgusting desires.
It is much better that you wear a chastity belt, and force him to go out and have several affairs with women who are not bound by the rediculous mentality that I just described above. I mean - why should the much more intellectually and emotionally female stoop to the carnal desires of us deisgusting men - it's not right to use the gentle and fragile female body for that kind of lust.
God forbid - you might actually discover the joys of sex if you can stomach sitting in on one of these disgusting and filthy movies. Perhaps the ugly naked people are doing it in a position you have never considered before - or you may even get turned on when you watch someone licking another woman's private parts - That would just be such a horrible sin!
And even worse - being turned on himself, your husband may suggest something so repulsive as to place his lips and tongue on your labia (for those uneducated on the names of body parts - that means the layers of skin that protect the vagina) - and God help you if you happen to enjoy the sensation of a soft wet tongue on your womanhood.
Imagine how many Hail Mary's you'll have to say when his probing tongue and lips drive you to extacy and lust, and all because you filthied yourself by permitting your eyes to view such a disgusting and exploitive thing as a pornographical movie.
Geez - I wonder what Paul meant, when he said the marriage bed is undefiled - and I wonder what he meant when he said "Women, your bodies are not yours, but your husbands" - and - "men, your bodies are likewise not yours, but your wives" - and - "do not withhold your bodies from one another, except with mutual agreement for a time of prayer and fasting, lest you tempt evil"
Couldn't be that Paul is suggesting (gasp) that a married couple NEEDS to have sex, to keep from infidelity, could it???
No - how could the Bible possibly condone such a filthy, disgusting act...
You'd better burn those abominable movies, and divorce him for being a pervert that wants to enjoy carnal knowledge of his wife...
No - wait - what does the Bible say about divorce again???
2007-01-08 00:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before, during, after......totally normal. My wife enjoys them, too.
No predicament involved. Every couple, every individual is different. At least he's with YOU while viewing.
By the way, there are some excellent videos by female director Candida Royale; check them out.
2007-01-08 00:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel it is wrong, it won't be a good turn on for you.
maybe the two of you could buy a copy of the kama sutra and choose a position together to try every week, if he wants to spice it up. are you allowed to do anything besides missionary? are you allowed to have oral?
maybe take a big ol' bubble bath together, with no sex, or maybe try having sex out in the woods, that's exciting.
2007-01-07 21:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋