When I was 18 I had a full term stillbirth, I then went on to have 3 succesful pregnancies , the last being only 3 years ago. Now at the age of 39 I have found I am pregnant again . Pregnance wouldnt be good financially, socially but morally because of stillbirth feel wrong about abortion.
2007-01-07 20:51:56 · 31 answers · asked by mum of 3 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Only you can decide what's best for you. One piece of advice though, because of your age you should get testing done as early as possible to make sure the baby doesn't have any serious problems like downs syndrome. If you decide to keep the baby, congratulations and best of luck on a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and a healthy baby. If you decide to terminate the pregnancy, you'll find no ill will from me.
2007-01-07 20:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by Justin H 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of ways you can go about adoption. You can do an open adoption where some parents will still allow you to see the baby and write letters and send pictures. Also, you can do a closed adoption that many birth mothers find easier. If you do decide to keep the baby, your teenagers can help out a lot. Just remember that having a baby after 35 does increase the chance of birth defects such as Down's Syndrome. Many women are having babies at 40, movie stars and celebrities tend to do this more often. I understand if you feel wrong about abortion, but if you decide to do this, it is very private and no matter what anyone says, the Supreme Court gives women the right to do this. I wish you the best.
2007-01-07 21:16:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son that he must listen to you because you are his mommy. Explain to him that every time he does not listen, there will be consequences. I would make a timeout chair in a corner or just some place where you can see him. He will have to sit there for 3.5 minutes (one minute per year). Make sure you explain to him the concept of timeout, and if he screams and cries when you put him there (which he WILL do at first) tell him that it is his choice to either listen to you and no timeout, or don't listen and a timeout. When he tries to get up, the time will start all over again. And when he has successfully taken the timeout, ask him why he got it and what he can do next time so he won't have to have another one. Give him a hug afterwards, make sure he says he's sorry, and let him go play. I hope this helps! Best of luck! -Elle
2016-05-23 09:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a 41 yr old mother with 2 sons ages 20 and 19, she had a daughter in Aug 05 and just gave birth a few months ago to another daughter. Sure, they are far apart in age from the older siblings and the timing may not be perfect but I would raise the baby. As for the finiancial part of it, things can be worked out. Cut costs in other areas to save money. Breastfeed (its free, why pay for formula plus its better), use cheaper diapers (or cloth), if baby is due around the same time of year as your 3 yr old and you still have her clothes you could re-use them.
As far as the social part of it goes, who cares what others will think/say? This is YOUR baby to raise, NOT theirs. People seem to get uptight on the age of mothers either being too young or too old. Age should really have nothing to do with it, its about the ability to care for a child responsibly, which, since you have 3 already, you seem capable of.
You could try adoption but your other 3 are old enough that they would question why their brother/sister isn't around anymore and why they can't seem him/her.
Congrats on your baby and best of luck on your choice.
2007-01-07 21:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by ~ Amanda ~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh desr, this is a difficult time for you but as my mother-in-law used to say 'if you waited until you could afford to have children the world would have died out by now'. You don't say why it would be difficult financially; is it that you would cut back on working hours? Cost of childminding? Simply cost of bringing up another child? If your partner/husband is working are you entitled to tax credits? (UK) . You might be surprised to find out how much he can earn and still be entitled so you could look into this. Also, please do not think this is being unpleasant as it is a genuine suggestion - could he not have a vasectomy while you are pregnant so this does not happen again - or perhaps you could be sterilised after the baby? I'm sure everything will work out well for you adn you have my good wishes.
2007-01-07 21:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you! Happened to me too when I was 40. Though my youngest was 7. But all three were in school and I had a good job etc. I had an amnio test (to ensure that at my age the baby wasn't going to be a spina bifida) which can result in a spontaneous abortion. This didn't happen. As a result I have a beautiful 7 year old now. But at the time I was devastated. Listen to your heart. So much changes and everything is retrospective. I wish you well knowing that YOU know the way to go!
2007-01-07 21:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
40 isn't very old to be a mum these days, but it is a decision only you can make.
If you feel abortion is wrong then the only other option is adoption. Could you really carry your child for 9 months and then give him or her up?
Many pregnancies aren't a good idea for 'social or financial' reasons, but that doesn't mean people don't go ahead with them.
2007-01-07 20:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow! that is a tough one. I am 40- and i have a 6,7,20,22 and just might be a grandma soon. If it were me, I really don't know what I'd do, I would consider age- you'd be 66 when the child turns 18, is that fair to either one of you? have you thought about giving the baby up for adoption? I'm sorry, I thought I could answer this better but just thinking about it has me in a panic!! The BEST to you!!
2007-01-07 21:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by Cynthia B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
40 isn't old - my step mum fell pregnant with my little sister at the age of 42 and she was just fine health wise. But her and my dad were at the age they should have been having time for them as all the other kids had grown up and left home instead of starting over again. Its not been easy at times but parenting is like that at any age. How does your partner feel about it? Will he support whatever decision you make?
If you feel wrong now about abortion then you will almost certainly regret having one. You will have to weigh up the guilt you would feel against being a parent all over again. Good luck xx
2007-01-07 21:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your first responsability is. of course, yourself (so you CAN take care of kids) and then to the children you already have.What kind of quality of life will those kids have with another mouth to feed in a home with a stressed out mom who will probably be streached out too thin even without a new baby. The new baby wouldn't get the best of it either.How "moral" is it to knowingly subject those kids to 20 years of hard times ? The time to have been "moral" was when you concieved...now you must be strong and be a responsable parent, and arrange your life so you can pay attention to the ones you have.An abortion would be most practical, especially at your age--teens are easy? There are 2 and 3 year waiting lists of people waiting to adopt..this also will require strength. Good luck.
2007-01-07 21:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by Catlady H 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋