my partner cheating on me during a rough time.......we have worked it out etc etc ......but every now and then I just get so upset about it ......how long will it take before i can trully get over it.......
see we dont live together yet, and when we're not together i find myself wondering..............
2007-01-07 20:42:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it takes more than 4 months to go through all the feelings of being cheated on. I too was cheated on (twice) by my spouse (he was my fiancee at the time of the cheating) . It's been 2 years and I'm slowly accepting and getting past the infidelity. Everyone is different. Don't expect to get past this quicker than you are able to. Don't allow anyone to tell you how long you should hurt, feel dissapointed or be angry. Just don't let it eat you up inside. If you stayed with him then you have accepted the fact that he cheated on you. Be clear that he needs to behave in a trustworthy manner for you to ragain trust in him. And, be VERY clear that you will not accept this behaviour EVER again. There are some good books out there for you to read which will help you understand why people cheat. Go to the bookstore. It's true what people say. You can forgive, but you never forget.
2007-01-07 22:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by denise b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You either need to find a way to get past it or you need to break-up with him.
What's happened is in the past and if you've decided you can forgive him and move forward than you need to just let it go and move forward. You need to not let yourself wonder about whether he's being faithful unless you have a specific reason to wonder. In the short run this may seem difficult, but if you want to be with him you have to try.
On the other hand, if you find that you just can't get past him cheating, you need to break it off before you move in with him for both his and your sake. You can't be happy if you are always thinking the worst when he works late or doesn't come home the instant he gets off work. Would you really want to live your life that way?
I can't give you any specific advice on how to get past it. Maybe when you start doubting, just tell yourself you aren't going to go there.
2007-01-07 20:50:06 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - it's not wrong. Cheating is a big deal. It's a violation of trust. If sex is involved there is the possiblity of spreading disease. That said, if you want to give this relationship a chance you do need to try to forgive the guy. Don't throw it up in his face every time you have an arguement. Try to avoid giving him the third degree. Write in your journal. Talk to a trusted friend. If he doesit again he's history. Good luck.
2007-01-07 22:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I had cheated on each other when we were separated. This was in 2003 both of us have come to terms with the fact that yes we both did cheat, however it still comes up sometimes. I also believe that it will probably come up the rest of our lives. I don't believe that you will ever be able to get over it, the only thing that you can do is accept the fact that it did happen and it happened in the past.
2007-01-07 20:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by BURN180 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be very hard to forget something like that
you have to be a very strong woman but some women get over it
but it would be so hard to trust him so when he's not with you you think whats he up to
yeah a new guy might be better because with you forgiving him he may think you are going to let him get away with it all the time & he may cheat again & you may be married next time
2007-01-07 21:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by ausblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, i hate to say once a trust has been broken i don't think you can ever get it back. You will always wonder when hes not with you, who he is with. Or when he doesn't answer the phone, why. Truth be known once a guy cheats once they are very likely to do it again. If i were you i would move on to better. Best of Luck.
2007-01-07 20:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by J&A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me while we were still dating, and finally came clean about it after we were married. It took at least a year for us to be OK after that, and we still got divorced 1 1/2 years later (due to unrelated events). 4 months is not too long to still be upset over the situation. Couple's counseling might do wonders for your relationship.
2007-01-07 20:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater. Do not trust your partner anymore. They brought it on themselvs by cheating. You will never get over this, the best thing to do is get out of the relationship and move on.
2007-01-07 20:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you will ever get over being betrayed,as any relationship has to be based on trust, and that trust in your case has been broken, are you ever going to be in a position to trust this partner again?
I speak from having been happily married for 34 years!
2007-01-07 20:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by Peter R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when a partner cheats on you it takes more than four months to get over it. he has to prove himself to you before you can really trust him again. by the way out of curiosity why didn't you cheat on him too.
2007-01-07 20:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by prettypueo1812 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋