told me she was feeling down, so I gave her some flowers and went to see her. She then said her uncle was in hospital, so I sent him a 'Get Well Card' at her home address for her to pass on to him - I never got a thank you. Then, I was burlged at Xmas and lost everything including all Xmas presents and when I texted her about what had happened to me, she just texted, "Let's catch up", and haven't heard a thing since! Is it worth me keep trying with her, when she never keeps her word and it seems to be me doing all the chasing?
2007-01-07 20:23:48 · 17 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are one of those 'special' people who will go out of their way to try and make things easier and better for others. Good on you as you will always have a happy heart knowing you have this ability and attitude.
Your friend on the other hand is not so well equipped and probably doesn't even know that she is like she is with you as you are always the one who copes, cares and fixes. I have to agree re your being burgled, I would have been there and offering to share what I had with you, that is us though? Not her.
I suggest you write her a note of what you think and feel and give her the option of responding to it. If she doesn't then your friendship clock has stopped and is unlikely to start again. However, if she does respond it will probably be with surprise and apology. I hope it is the latter.
And remember if we allow people to just do as they do without us objecting when our feelings are hurt or not cared about. Then they just continue being them as," they don't know if you don't tell them."
Hope it works out for you.
2007-01-07 21:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your bad luck. Re the friendship, I'd say let it go, honey. Constant rejection from someone who is supposed to be close to you can only mean heartache for you.
If you're still hesitant to end the friendship, why not write her a letter? Put everything you feel in it, re-read it, wait a couple of days and then, if you think the friendship's worth a fighting chance (I'm afraid to say it doesn't sound like it is...) then mail the letter and see where things go from there.
I'm sure you're worth so much more than a one-sided friendship, especially given the thoughtful things you seem to do for her. Get out with other friends and I reckon you'll learn what real friends are like pretty soon.
Good luck!
2007-01-08 06:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does seem very one-sided. Before you break up with her entirely and lose a good friend, I would meet up with her and tell her exactly what you have told us here on Yahoo. Explain that you feel it's one-sided, let her give her side of the story. She may have no excuses or she may well apologise and try to make it up to you, - but at least you have cleared the air. Then it is a decision whether to move on or let her go. Friendships often don't last the test of time - sometimes you just grow apart and drift away, but you replace them with new friends who share your interests. But a definition of a friend is someone who supports you through the bad times and clearly you have done this for her and she hasn't returned it - so the friendship isn't being reciprocated. but talk with her before you make a decision.
Good luck.
2007-01-08 04:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TBH - as a friend - I wouldn't expect a 'thank you' for gifts/cards if I were giving them to a friend/etc (but it is good manners for acknowledgement) although its a bonus! If you truly feel you receive little support from your friend (her reaction to your break-in) and has been like this for a while, I would just give her 'space' - you wouldn't necessarily need to tell her, just get on with life without contacting her for a while and see how it goes. It may just be she is very much depressed and unsure as to how to deal with what you are going through as well as how she feels/going through.
I am sorry you've endured such a horrible crime and can see why you needed extra friendship/support but it looks like this friend is not the one for you hun!
I went through a similar situation with friends at high school then at some point through adulthood where I was the one always phoning, visiting etc and they never returned it so I kinda 'dropped' them to see what happened and guess what after being friends with them for years? I don't have time for people like that - friendship like any relationship requires give and take equally!!
2007-01-08 04:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship should give something to both sides... I used to picture this with a barrel; a barrel which is full of affection (or love or whatever). the affection/love we give runs through tiny holes in the barrel. the barrel is big enough so it doesn't need a constant refill, but it is no question that it needs refill at some time. otherwise we will likely end up with an empty one.
what I'm trying to say? a "one-sided" relationship is no relationship.
2007-01-08 04:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can make that decision, you are the thats knows her and you are the only one that can make the decision on how you would be without her in your life.
You could not contact her let er contact you if this doesnt happen forget about her. or again you could talk to her and tell her how you feel you could do this by card or letter.
Good Luck
2007-01-08 04:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant answer that Really I cant. I am in the same problem. I am 23 years old and I have had the same best friend since I was 5. Recently she started dating this guy and she never talks to me or wants to be around me unless there fighting. Its always been that way with her. Its always her problems and we cant talk about mine never. I dunno what to do thats why I say I wouldn't be able to help you on yours good luck tho.
2007-01-08 04:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by kelly_420_brian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go of her, I let go of my friend too because i got tired of her crap. Sometimes people change or act stupid and you don't need to be there through there crazy changes. Let her do the chasing and stop calling and she will start chasing you and when she does give her the boot
2007-01-08 04:28:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a friendship is like a bank account,you cant keep making withdrawals without making any deposits.you should look for new friends, the best way to find a friend is to be one, hope this helps good look.
2007-01-08 18:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it was time to move on from this friend! I don't think you should keep chasing her to meet up etc, maybe concentrate on some genuine friends who appreciate you more?
2007-01-08 10:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋