After losing your spouse be death how long should I start looking to date?

Question

my spouse died may 2006 of cancer

hy husband fought the cancer for 18+monthes
we have 2 kids at home a 18yo thats slow on stuff and a 7 y.o. thats smart we was together 9 years

Answer 1

My husband died at age 36 when I was 9 months pregnant in Nov 2004. I started dating 18 months later, but now I've found I am still not ready and it has been 2 years. It is fine to date and have fun again and feel alive again, but keep in mind that you are unstable and will still feel in love with your husband. Follow your heart and your gut. If someone interests you, go for it. But know that you aren't fully stable at this time and you can't fully trust your emotions. I also was left widowed with 2 kids and can barely find the time to date or give someone the time a relationship needs at this point. My husband was in perfect health and died suddenly. I've heard that people who lose their spouse to a long illness actually feel ready to date sooner, because they have been mourning or grieving for years. So you may feel ready because you've been saying goodbye to your husband for almost 2 years now even though it hasn't yet been a full year since his death. Also, dont worry about what others say or feel - people will always judge you and they have no clue what we widows go through and the loneliness we endure.
Also, visit ywbb.org - a great website for young widowers/widows and the people there are going through everything you are and can help answer your dating dilemmas and questions.
Good luck and take care.

Answer 2

Wow it has been only few months. You shouldn't starting looking for a date now. If you're old and already have kids over 18 then you should not find another woman in your life. What is the point anyway ? Women are painful in life. If they're young like 5 years old then you should find one when you're ready meaning you're finding the woman to take care of your kids. If your intention is not for the kids then you shouldn't start looking for another woman because your wife will look down on you from heaven.

Answer 3

Oh, I suppose there are a number of rules about this: "Wait two years" or "Wait one month for every year of marriage" or "Because it was cancer, you already did a lot of grieving while s/he was alive." The truth is, there is no answer that's right for everyone. Wait until you feel ready, don't let anyone push you to move faster or guilt you into going slower.

It's a tribute to your relationship with your spouse that you want to repeat the experience with another relationship.

Answer 4

My dad waiting 2 years. He was married to my mother for almost 51 years.

If your wife went suddenly and unexpectedly one would think you might grieve longer or wait, as to a long illness.

I think you are asking how long, that you feel ready.
Look up an old girl friend, give her a call.
That's what my dad did after that many years!!!
he was a new man again!

I think you should check out what's out there!
dr.phill suggests trying www.match.com

Answer 5

When you are ready. No one knows that but you.

I remember when my Aunt died of breast cancer when I was in middle school - my Uncle began dating someone and I used to feel like it was too soon.

But then when I got older I realized that everyone is entitled to do what they feel is best for their life. And no one else has the right to judge.

In retrospect, I realize that he and his immediate family went through a lot of pain - cancer is a terrible disease - and he was certainly entitled to seek happiness again. I know my Aunt would have wanted him to be happy.

Answer 6

If you are already asking then you must be emotionally ready to start now. Only you can decide when you are ready. No one else can tell you something like that.

Answer 7

Whenever you are ready emotionally. Its different from person to person. Some can move on fast while others hang on for alot longer. Go for it if you feel its right!

Answer 8

When you feel ready, there's no set time limit to stop grieving and ready to accept a new person into your life.

Answer 9

to my idea, you should not choose another husband because you can stand on your own feet and keep on your life. by getting marriage again i don't think you can provide comfort for yourself and the kids. I think you should learn a skill and pay value to you ability and rely on the great God to hold your hand.

Answer 10

I think that you should simply start to date again when you feel ready to do so.