2007-01-07 18:55:27 · 12 answers · asked by abril b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Make him feel loved and cared for. Make sure to touch him throughout the day - kisses, shoulder rubs, pats on the back, etc. Men also equate sex with love, so spending time with him in the bedroom helps!! Just keep in mind that men just aren't the emotional, talkative creatures that women are, so you cannot expect him to want to talk in depth about "feelings" all the time if that's what you mean.
2007-01-07 19:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by dottidal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a book I would like to recommend you BOTH read:
The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.
It's a very easy read, and is about $13 in paperback form
The book talks about the 5 most common non-verbal ways in which we show love to one another.
Most of the time, a couple have vastly different needs in how they can understand that their partner truly loves them, and this being the case, you both need to learn to communicate in the manner in which your partner understands that he/she is loved.
The 5 ways are:
1) Acts of servcice (I do the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, change the oil in your car, check the tire pressure, mow the lawn, etc...)
2) Affirmative words (You are so handsome / beautiful / talented, you're a good provider / husband / wife, you are very good at what you do / caring, etc...)
3) Physical touch, which ranges from that deliberately accidental touch when you pass each other in a room where you could easily have not touched, to hugging, kissing, holding hands, to sex
4) Giving of gifts - anything from a home-made card, to a nice little trinket you couldn't leave on the shelf, to a $5,000 piece of jewelry, etc...
5) Quality time - solely devoted to just "being together" - no TV, no kids, no housework - just the 2 of you, maybe a glass of Pinot Noir, a good Brie, some Kavli flatbread, and a jar of Jalepeno jelly, and some candles - maybe a fire... And just be together.
How can you make him more open with you?
Well - find out what his primary love language is, and start to cater to him - also, be completely open with him:
Share your life, experiences, desires, fantasies (yes - sex...!), dreams for the future, intimate thoughts about life, love, and happiness.
Talk to him about opening up - find out why he is "closed" - maybe - if he is like so many men, he really doesn't think he is "closed" - maybe something is bothering him, and he is too proud (male egos are sometimes quite fragile) to discuss it with you - maybe he has unfulfilled sexual fantasies (like a foot fetish, wants to tie you up / be tied up, or who knows what), and he is afraid to talk to you about it, because of what you might think...
Open up to him - at ALL levels - find out what really makes him tick - do something special for him - when is the last time you took a weekend getaway together - just the 2 of you?
When is the last time you did something that - TO HIM - really says "I love you as much today, as the day we were married, and I would marry you again"?
When is the last time you went with him to the sex-toy store? THERE is an "open-upper".
Most women are too prudish to openly talk about sex and fantasies - and most men have a sexual thought every 15 seconds... Hmmm - food for thought?
2007-01-07 19:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
men are tricky when it comes to opening up and communicate things like us. He has to know there is no judgments, and trust to completely.Be has to know that when he opens up it's not going to change the way you feel. Even if it something to us simply.
Might take a long time and than again might not ever completely open up. Right time right place. Best of luck
2007-01-07 19:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have been more clear by what you mean by open. DO you mean sexually? In communicating? What? In general though, you have to set the example and not expect anything your actions will let him feel comfortable.
For example if you are saying sexually open then you should let him "catch" you reading something like playboy or visiting swinger sites or chatting online about something. giving him the sense he can be open without getting hit.
That's just one example but you see where i'm going.
2007-01-07 21:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by Cybrocupid 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is hard. dont keep telling him that he needs to be more open with you. just be patient and act sweet and nicer to him. if u do not repeat it, he would eventually feel comfortable enough to talk to u about anything. if ur husband just cannot be open with u then that is an unhealthy relationship
2007-01-07 18:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Whetin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
BE open with you.
2007-01-07 18:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOu can't MAKE a grown man do anything!
Talk to him and tell him how you feel, the rest is up to him
2007-01-07 18:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by xxxxxxx b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you say...."MAKE"?....as in > "to control" or have control over?
Perhaps there's something in or about "YOU" that causes him "not" to want to?
......Gee, I wonder what?
2007-01-07 19:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
so easy, be more open with him first...
2007-01-07 19:02:34 · answer #9 · answered by kolinetongue 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
good luck
2007-01-07 18:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by FLOWERGRL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋