We have been divorced for 9.5 years and both remarried and share custody 50/50. At first he had to pay 500/mo and I had to take him to court twice for not paing for 7-8 months at a time. I dropped it to 375/mo...still had to wait months. Finally when I met my husband I am married now and had some financial help, I told my ex if he agreed to let me be the domicile parent then he wouldn't pay child support and we would split expenses 50/50, including insurance and tax exemptions. I did this because I had to bring them to his house when I had them to catch the bus. He was self employed.. . my commute would 25-45 minutes, depending on traffic. I now help my husband out with his business and don't have my own money to buy for my kids. My husband complains occasionally about how my ex has it made, while he has to pay child support plus pay for my kids stuff. The agreement of 50/50 split expenses doesn't ever work out for me because I procrasinate sending it to him. Suggestions?
2007-01-07 17:53:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
any agreement or court order can be modified at any time when there are changes.
and there have indeed been changes.
you gave him an inch and he took a yard. he knows now that if he doesnt pay you for months, you will lower the amount, etc. sounds like you take pitty on him (the ex) when he needs to realize its difficult on everyone involved.
here is a CS calculator. just click on your state, fill in the fields and THAT is an approximate as to what you should be recieving.
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
your husband will continue to make digs, because he is footing all of the bill for the children, when he knows (as everyone knows) your ex should be pitching in. Teens are a lot of money...
if you need legal help, contact your local Legal Aid Office. they are in all states and most counties. they go on a sliding scale, so its free to most. look in your phone book or call your county court clerks office and ask if they have it. if no luck, contact your states Bar Assoc for it.
here are some more links to help with any other questions. just click on your state and find the section you need. the last few are to help you.
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
mom of 4
2007-01-09 13:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel... I can't say i've been through exactly what you have... in fact not even close, but I do know that I've made a shitload of mistakes i my lifetime, but what the Bible says about it is quite simple. 1Jn.1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. As long as we're sorry, God will always forgive us. All he wants you to do is open your life to Him, and He can turn your life around. He doesn't condemn you for your past, and He loves you all the same, if not more so, because you know that you need Him, and can't make it on your own. Another verse is this: 2Cor.5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. In other words, once you accept Jesus into your life, the past is forgotten, and all that matters is the future you have ahead of you. Last one :) *Jn.6:37 - All that the Father giveth Me shall come to Me; and him that c ometh to Me I will in no wise cast out. In other words, you can never be too bad for Jesus... only too good :D Well, sorry this was kinda long. Hope it was helpful. Feel free to contact me if you wanna talk! Take Care. Jesus loves you.
2016-05-23 08:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you never made an agreement in court then you have a right to ask for child support. Actually dont ask-take him to court so that he cant just start and stop paying whenever he feels like it. Also child support has nothing to do with the parents and everything to do with the children. How would your children feel if they found out they could be living a better quality of life (monetarily) but their mom feels too bad to ask it of their father?
2007-01-07 17:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jaigurl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you need the money now it will certainly help your children when they decide to attend post secondary school. You ex husband is obligated to help support his children. If you do not need the money yourself then put it away in an account or an education fund for you children. One never knows what tomorrow brings and with the changing economy you never know what your life will be like in ten years. The fact is that your children may need this money for school or to have their teeth straightened, or for some other unforeseen emergency. You husband has to be accountable for his children in some way, and you are not doing him any favours by allowing him to be irresponsible.
2007-01-07 17:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are not in a fair position... your hustand complaining puts pressure on you and makes you feel like your kids are a burden.. if you share 50/50 custody... then no one should pay the either anything... I think it is rude that your husband puts you in the position to ask your ex for something that you feel uncomfortable doing... your kids are not a burden and he should not make you feel that way. If you work with his business you should get paid your own money to spend on your kids.. i don't understand why your husband puts you in this situaion
2007-01-07 17:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell the 17 year old to get a job the free rides about to end on that one anyway and if the 17 year old moves out at 18 that should cut you expenses in half!so there you go problem solved!
2007-01-09 08:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, your husband of now shouldn't be compainin hun......that **** ain't right no matter how ya make it sound....he's married you and taken on the responsibility of your kids and he knew damn well what he was gettin into...
but thanks so much for your q, you've opened my eyes to the reality that I myself am gonna have to make damn sure I find the right man for me and my kids, if your hubbie can't handle it then simply remind him of the vows he took or simply piss the **** off...too many girls nowadays go for some guy who is a fukkin loser, don't settle!!!
ok, so maybe it's not that easy cuz you've already married him, I guess my advice is not so much advice but ya shoulda communicated first off bout how your ex is and the "dilemma" it causes you financially.......trust me, beatin round the bush doesn't solve any probs, only prolongs em.....
make that son of a ***** ex pay what he owes....he played round with his own dikk so he can either be responsible for his own actions or you can legally befall him with the reality that his "rights" (even though he's obviously a bloody loser) can be expedited through the legal system....go to court and find out for yourself that either he pays up or his worthless *** goes to jail...
2007-01-07 18:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont feel bad, and it's not your choice, it's the kid's rights, go for it!!!! File docs for support asap, dont wait more!!!!!
By the way, you could have asked for spousal support as well.
2007-01-07 18:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by guriazinhainla 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't fiddle around with your ex anymore. Get a lawyer, get a contract, and have it legally enforced. Play time is over, you need to support your children.
2007-01-07 17:56:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
tale him back to court and make him pay after all their his children too and he should help you out. Its not right for you husband now to have to raise them unless he wants to, then let him adopt them.
2007-01-07 17:57:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋