I have this friend who is causing a lot of stress in my life. He has anger issues, he yells and screams at a drop of a hat. Now he also has poor credit and he wants me to sub-lease an apartment for him. When he sees my reluctance he gets mad. I see that he really has noone else to ask (naturally he doesn't have that many friends), that's why he's so upset. But this is really too much for me to takem and why should I be responsible for his financial mistakes of the past I just don't see. It really goes on and on. Why is it so hard to leave someone like this behind? I really can't take this anymore. I mean, he's a good person to hang out with, but when he needs something and doesn't get his way he's just impossible. Tell me something. tell me that I'm an idiot, it might do me some good. I'm sick of it all, but he just wouldn't go away.
2007-01-07 17:34:43 · 13 answers · asked by Everybody's Favorite 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks for the answers so far. I actually told him what I said here. He only gets amd and says that I'm a bad friend. Yes, Canadian Girl, he is kind of "toxic" friend. My problem is, to allow myself to say GOODBYE to all this because I feel bad.
2007-01-07 17:43:49 · update #1
I think you get caught up in a relationship and when it goes bad, you just keep trying. You know better but. . .You have to learn to appreciate everyone for exactly who they are. It doesn't mean you let them use you. When someone asks you to do something that is not in your best interest and then gets mad, they are trying to intimidate you into doing it. Don't let them guilt trip you for not bailing them out. It's their actions that got them where they are and they will not hesitate to drag you down with them. I think someone called them toxic people--great phrase. The letting go is hard but when you finally get backed away and take a deep breath, you will find that you like the feeling without them. It's called relief. The constant hassle is gone and you can have a good time with someone else all the time, not just when you're not being badgered. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to get a prince.
2007-01-07 18:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by towanda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are an idiot! Big time! Thanks! You know what to do and have the choice of telling him off and making it a scene to be remembered. Or you can taper off and let him down softly (didn't sound like he would notice) You don't have to be his doormat or put up with his tirades just because you made the mistake of liking him when he was likeable!! Now he's a pain. People change and you have the right to change too. Make losing him your first positive change. And no fair missing him!! A decision is a decision when you're breaking it off with people i.e. don't use him when you're lonely or bored. And I wouldn't piss him off either. He might be on an anger tear that could get worse. Don't make some angry stressed-out guy HATE your guts!! Just say No!!
Nancy would!! Good Luck!! @8=)
2007-01-08 01:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, kind of in a smiliar situation as you... I have a friend who is taking advantage of me and I am just so sick of it. You know, I was thinking that I am going to start getting rid of the stress in my life this year by "letting go" of toxic friends. You just have to be honest with this guy and say exactly what you just said here in your question. If he is a good friend, he will apologize and not ask for things that really he himself should be able to handle. If he freaks out, let him go, you don't need all that negative energy. He is not really a friend if he acts that way anyway. Good luck.
2007-01-08 01:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by Canadian Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the reason it is so hard to turn your back on anybody is completly due to the fact that we are social creatures and society would break down if we did not act in an alturistic way. What your feeling is simply a program that promotes the unity of humanity nothing more. HE HE He just kidding.
2007-01-08 01:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably comes to you because he has no one else to go to that will listen to him.
If he's causing you that much stress, I would definately suggest you don't be friends with him anymore. He will bring you down into his dungeon of self-pity.
2007-01-08 01:40:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
TAKE CARE OF YOU!! Sounds like your being used. You just have to be honest and tell him,"NO'. Your the one who's looking out for you. Nobody else is. You need to take care of you! TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!
2007-01-08 01:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by rspheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to say BYE, just stay firm and ask yourself if you need all this mess.. Trust your instincts.
2007-01-08 01:48:44 · answer #7 · answered by th1608 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for the heart to let go.
2007-01-08 01:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. Tell him how you feel and ask for a compromise.
2007-01-08 01:37:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say No and thats final...You will be making a really dumb move if you do this...
2007-01-08 01:44:34 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋