Relationship help?

Question

I have been with the same guy for 3 years. Im pretty sure that I have social anxiety so its hard for me to talk to people and make firneds. I cant get close to anyone. We are very close and he is loving. We are pretty dependent on each other. We both dont have any friends that we hang out with. We talk to peolple at work but thats about it. I have one friend who I am close with, but hse now lives 3 hours away. We basically just stay home together. The thing is I dont think I want to marry him. I am 24. But I dont know what I would do if we broke up. We live together, and I wont be able to support myself if I moved out, plus I would have no friends tp hang ou taround here. Except my mom! I feel like I wouldnt be able to find anyone else. I am not close with anyone. Should I just stay with him even though I dont feel that I would be happy forver? Anyone have any kind of advice. Please help.

Answer 1

You say you're basically not happy. That's the theme I read in your question message.
Your self esteem is low for many reasons, namely being in a "Boxed" lifestyle with this guy.
You can do better. You are a female are you not? Theres more fish in the sea.
Quit beating yourself down with all the negative thoughts and people that are in this circle, break away and move on.
Life's too short to remain in an unhappy situation with so many limitations. You need a life. You are depressed and have done this for so long that you are wallowing in unbelief that you cannot do better. You can my dear. Just try. You CAN DO IT.

Answer 2

Noooooo! Don't stay with someone just because you think you can't find anything better. More often than not, when it comes down to it, even being on your own is better than being around someone you don't really want to be with. You're 24, I assume you live in the US - how is it that you wouldn't be able to support yourself? If you're disabled, you should be able to collect some sort of government assistance; if not - you should be able to work. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon - find a job in a local supermarket, or a gas station, or a clothing store; then figure out what is it that you might like to do in the long run, and go to a community college for a 2-year degree, to start. In this country, everyone gets a chance; it's a shame not to take it. Yes, not being able to make friends can be hindering... I'm speaking from experience, I've never had very close friends, not even in high school; I was always holed up at home, reading books, and was happy to keep it this way. When I was 18, I moved about 6,000 miles away from my home and family - and guess what; I had to function in a totally new way. Lived with roommates, worked part-time minimum-wage jobs (taking home $600/mo), went to school part-time, often seven days a week for months on end. I'd had a terrible time meeting people (as in, prospective mates); dating has always been an ordeal. Got married, got divorced - a total nightmare, emotionally - bounced back. In the four years after the divorce, found dates almost exclusively online, and after much time spent searching (and several disappointments, to be sure) I have now re-married; my husband is actually even more "anti-social" than I (didn't know it was possible), we don't hang out with other people very often, and are quite content with each other's company. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just start looking at things practically. If you moved out - where would you live? Can you live with your mom? Can you find a good deal on renting a room in your area? Would your job pay for certain expenses? Look in your local paper for rentals and job listings.

Or, re-think your perception of your present situation. Why do you think you don't want to be with your b/f? Is it something that can be addressed, and perhaps fixed? Can your relationship be made better? Be honest with him and with yourself. But whatever you do, don't remain in the situation you're in just out of sheer fear of the unknown. The unknown always turn out to be much less threatening than our minds make it out to be.

Answer 3

if somebody drops u in deep water and u can't swim there will be only 2 choises for u - to learn how to swim or to drown. so this is the same - if u will be left alone and unsupported trust me, u will figure out how to find friends and how to get living. and u re only 24. trust me, if u stay in current unsatisfactory situtaion it will get much MUCH worse around 30 when a few first signs of aging show up. u will be depressed and devastated. so i suggest u start now. of course some time u will be lonely and not so much money. but i am 100% it won't last longer than 1 year max. and think only if u stay with him u re stuck for all your life with unsatisfactory life

Answer 4

If you think you will not be happy with him later in life,move out now.after moving out also you can be good friends.But keep one thing in mind.All relatoinships become boring after a certain period.So think and decide.