I am in this terrible situation. My bf lives with me in my house.. He is a very hard worker and will work 24 hours a day if possible, but right now his work is slow and he is low on money. We have had serious problems lately and a lot of trust issues. I really love him, but I hate the things he does sometimes. He is decietful and is a womanizer. I dont know for a fact if he has cheated, but I truly believe he would, and he makes no secret about checking out EVERY single good looking woman out there. He is so obvious. So, I want to separate from him but he doesnt have money to move out right now. Should I give him a month to get back on his feet, or should I just get rid of him because of all the crap he has pulled (this paragraph isnt long enough to list it all). What should I do? I feel like such an idiot for putting up with his crap.
2007-01-07 16:06:57 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are an idiot if you put up with that crap and try to call it "love". His financial issues aren't yours-you're not his wife. Tell him to leave and stop shacking up with losers
2007-01-07 16:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him. It's amazing how fast a man will turn his financial situationn around when they can no longer use someone. I was in a very similar situation once. both with the "eagle eye" for women and the wanting him out so badly I gave him 30 days to prepare. when the month came up. He had done nothing to fix the situation, I was weak and gave him another month. He repeated the same thing. I finally said "you have 48 hours to be out of my house and anything you leave behind is mine. I won't be your storage area. He was gone in 8 hours and moved in with an ex girlfriend. I had wasted 2 months that I could have been happy being totally stressed out. I was never so relieved as I was when I walked in my house and could reclaim my space...all of it. Give him the boot. This situation won't improve. My guess is you have probably talked and reasoned it to death already. Forget it. make him go. Then relax into your new life and enjoy the freedom.
2007-01-08 00:23:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I myself wouldn't wait a month, only because I've been there before and know what it feels like. H'es not your responsibility. He's a big boy and will find a way to take care of himself. If you really want out of this relationship, for good, pack his stuff up and set it by the curb for him to find when he comes home. Oh, and change your locks. And make sure you have a brother or father or male friend with you until he's gone. Then, don't answer his calls. He may try to ask you why, but he knows why. He knows.
2007-01-08 00:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a idiot that is just love. But my answer to that question depends on alot of things. like does he have somewhere to go or do you want him out so bad that you don't care about that. I am not one to put up with b.s so if i were you i would tell him to hit the road and leave him to thinking well maybe if i had done this or stoped doing that. Don't let noone step on you or take advantage of you.. It sounds like to me that is what he is doing. If he don't respect you enough to at least keep his eyes on you when you guys are together I can't imange what he would do behind your back if any one of those girls showed him the least bit of attention
good luck and best wishes
2007-01-08 00:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sherman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw hunni i know how u feel. u can love them but it doesnt mean u have to like them. ive just been in a similar situation where my bf has decieted me and well i chose to give him a second chance. why? coz i love him and he loves me too. and i think if two ppl do love each other, then they r prepared to do anything to make things work. yea u feel like an idiot for puttin up with their crap and u think u r stupid for dealin it wit still. well thats how i feel. try talkin to ur man, see how he feels about work n ur current situation. but if u believe in ur man and think he can change or things will look up in the future then i say stick thru it, every relationship gets rough spots and i dont believe in quitting too soon wen u two people have sumthing good. if u do want to get rid of him. let him kno, right from ur heart that u dont like the current situation of ur relationship and how things r goin, but give him some time to get his act together and to find a place to stay etc etc, maybe in that time a kick in the guts will make him realise he needs to start changing his ways and that u r worth everything in the world. hope it works out. good luck.
2007-01-08 00:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by MiSsY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him a deadline to be out. two weeks or two months just tell him the relationship is not headed the way you wanted it to.
He will accuse you a all kinds of crap and tell you he has no place to go but he is a man he will just pull himself up by his bootstraps and find a new pad.
I've been there, I was in a relationship and living with a gal, she did not want to get married and I did not want to continue in a dead end relationship. She suggested I leave, I just got a new place and got on with my life.
Tell him to grow a testi!
If you don't trust him, kick him to the curb.
2007-01-08 00:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by oldfatcowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really easy for girls to sympathize with guys - especially that the ones that they used to 'love'....but if he's like this NOW then he will NOT change. The best thing for you to do is for 1. Follow your GUTS! For 2. Don't put up with his cr*p anymore. They always realize what they HAD when it's too late, but that's OK. By that time, you'll have found someone that you are truly happy with! :o) It's hard.....but do it!
2007-01-08 00:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Tracy ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, u dont know for sure if he's cheating. I think its so unfair to assume things without concrete proof. Thats just cruel. The fact he looks at alot of women shouldn't really matter, don't you look at alot of guys? I do and I would hope my boyfriend wouldn't kick me out and assume I'm cheating. Hopefully he would trustme until I broke his trust. Just because he's low on money shouldn't change your love for him. I would hate it if I were with someone like u, sorry. Let him stay until he's up on his feet. Maybe u should try to do something nice for him as well.
2007-01-08 00:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by laura k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well has he been helpin on the bills??? when he had money?? if so the fair thing to do would boot him to couch for a while untill he can find his own place but give him a time limit or he will take advantage.. if he hasnt helped u with the bills then boot him to the curb ASAP...... i mean think of it as if u were in his shoes would you want to be kicked to the curb and no where to go with out notice!!! and if he has a place to go then tell him that u think its best if he go live with who ever!
2007-01-08 00:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by candyas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you know you deserve better. He lacks respect for you! If you want to give him time do it, but for your own sake putting an end to your relationship sounds like the best thing. If you don't have trust there's not a lot to build on. And you're not happy so you've gotta do what's best for you. Life's short. Enjoy it!
2007-01-08 00:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋