He always wakes me up during the middle of the night for sex. He goes to bed at 7:30 or eight because he gets up early for work, 3:00. I don't get to bed until 10 or 11 because of the kids and whatever. Anyway, if I tell him to leave me alone, the next day hes a jerk all day! (We do have sex at least 3 times a week..its not like he never gets any)
2007-01-07 16:01:52 · 15 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not saying it's right - but guys are blown away when the sex they enjoyed before marriage without asking becomes the sex they have to beg for after marriage. Yes 3X a week is great. Unless you got him used to 7X or 14X a week earlier.
There are at least 4 things going on here:
[1] Time scheduling. 3 AM is stupid. There are better times and you have to talk about and agree on them. He needs to be reminded of and also respect the timing needs of both people. As do you.
[2] Sharing chores and responsibilities. You have let him get away with doing nothing, so of *course* he's going to act like a spoiled child - that's how you treat him! (While you continue to allow him to knock you up, by the way - talk about immature.)
Tell him his days of a free ride as far as chores and all the household stuff and the kids and lunches and the trash and laundry and emptying the dishwasher are OVER. If he lived alone, he could by god find time to take out the goddamned trash, and the same goes for living with you. Ditto laundry, vacuuming, etc. And he better help with the kids. Period.
All that will help with time scheduling and you being too tired.
[3] Him waking you up for sex. This is out of bounds. Once a year - maybe. Once a week - no. Tell him if he does it again no sex for one week. I normally *hate* women who use sex as a weapon but that's all he seems to be able to listen to.
[4] His pouting. It's partly your fault, but mostly all his fault. Tell him pouting = no sex for a week. Time to man up. Grow a spine. Grow some balls. Be a big boy. Tell him very clearly you like sex but every now and then you are pooped and he has to wait. If he pouts (his huge fault) that means he has gotten results (your fault) but those days are over. Make dates (see time above) so he can pencil in some lovin'.
Tell him no joke he is DAMN lucky to be getting sex 3X a week in a marriage. He can ask his friends if he thinks you are kidding.
2007-01-07 16:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sex three time a week!
Wow, if he ever leaves you look me up? (lol)
But, to answer your question, men often think with their wrong "head". That's why your husband pouts. You need to talk to him and perhaps plan some "together time", then during that time, treat him like a king. If he has something to look forward to, then he may not wake you in the middle of the night.
2007-01-07 16:13:50 · answer #2 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband 22 years and yes he still pouts. I think i have turned him down maybe 20 times. He still get his sex 3-4 times a week. He just won't talk to me for the whole day.
2007-01-07 16:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried discussing with him the reasons for why you don't want to have sexytime? i'm sure he'll understand if you tell him that you've been with the kids all day and that you're exhausted. if you just shoot him down than roll back to sleep, than yea he's gonna be pissed.
you shouldn't consider sex as a reward or ration (3X a week, not like he doesn't get any...) it should be an intimate moment between the both of you, celebration of your love for each other. is it not satisfying enough? is he skippin foreplay and goin strait for the moneymaker? talk to him about that.
overall, if you give him a reason for not being in the mood, talk to him about it and he won't pout anymore.
2007-01-07 16:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by robyoung3484 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, he should be happy that's above average for married couples, especially if you have kids. Plus from your point of view, who really feels sexy at 3 am when they just wake up.
It's the opposite for my fiance and me, I want it more than he does, we are lucky if it's once a week. I tell him, "what are we gonna be like in 10 years?" after we are married. All I can picture is the Bundy's lol.
2007-01-07 16:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by Megan B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKay, I understand what you are saying, but once the ball gets rolling isn't the sex with your husband good? The next time he wants it and you are feeling less than turned on remember that the sex is good and how cool it is that he thinks you are hot and he has to have you!
2007-01-07 16:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 and 1/2 years, and i usually wake up and have fun with him if he wakes me up in the middle of the night. But sometimes i am TOO tired, or i don't feel good. But he still treats me sweetly, and understands that sometimes when i need it, he also either is too stressed, tired, or not feeling well.
2007-01-07 16:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by Stark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a little inconsiderate on his part, but as men we usually have a huge need for sex whenever we can get it, lol so he is just trying to get it when he can. At least he still finds you desireable. But it would be worth discussing it with him and coming to some compromise or maybe even schedule it a little.
2007-01-07 16:05:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he pouts and then i tell him if he wants to go have sex soo bad he needs to call one of his exs...
2007-01-07 16:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so thankful my husband isn't like this. There sure is a a lot of selfish and immature men in this world.
2007-01-07 16:06:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋