Sorry its kind of long, but i hope you like it anyway. =)
Out of Place
A little kid, little boy, you grew up way too fast
Never got to do the things other kids do
Always left to your own tools
Imagination and a TV screen
You learned your escapes at an early age
And even though given so little attention all your life
Your heart is so big
And so you hide
No, not from life
But from all commitments so they don’t turn into more lies
Disappoints and heartbreaks they don’t seem to end
So much so, that sometimes you think you might never mend
So benevolent in everything you do
So careful not to hurt the people around you
Your big heart has a lot of space
That’s why you feel out of place
One single soul can only care so much
Everything you do
And everything you are
It’s what’s right, so don’t forget that
2007-01-07 15:49:54 · 13 answers · asked by Jaded 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
You don’t care what others think
But you care enough to let them single you out
And you’ve convinced you’re wrong in some way
I wish I could take away your pain
You are everything that’s right
Right in my life.
2007-01-07 15:50:25 · update #1
lol thanks Chupacabra.
2007-01-07 15:57:33 · update #2
ok,,you know from before i tell you what i think because you ask..of everything you have shown me so far, i think this is a bit trite..i think again you are trying to portray emotions you don't quite understand because you haven't personally experienced..i like the stanza which begns so benevolent...but i know you can do better..i've seen you do it before..so i know you can..:o)
2007-01-07 15:55:38 · answer #1 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6/10
2007-01-07 23:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh! I love it!!! You speak from experience, it seems. You should publish it. There's an online group called poetry.com that will take your poetry, or you could go to a physical publisher. There's a lot of deep thought and raw emotions here. A wonderful piece.
2007-01-07 23:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by Rosalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too damn long and repeditive. You beat your point to death. Try this one:
Your poem, a bore
So now, I snore
You babble like a brook
precious time in my life you took
Go down to McDonalds ask for an app.
Because your poetry is carp.
2007-01-07 23:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Chupacabra! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long but nice. 8/10.
2007-01-07 23:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem...sounds like a lot of hurt. someone you love?
2007-01-07 23:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad
2007-01-07 23:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by mrlebowski99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice.
2007-01-07 23:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a very good poem
2007-01-07 23:51:23 · answer #9 · answered by harrison w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didn't like it
2007-01-07 23:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋