Is my daughter in with the wrong crowd?

Question

I heard my daughter, she's 12, talking with her friend the other day. She says to her friend, "I'm getting a tramp stamp when I turn 18." I have no idea what this means but am very, very worried. What is a tramp stamp and is my kid in with a bad crowd?

Answer 1

A "tramp stamp" or "s l u t stamp" is a tattoo on the lower back.
It's nothing to worry about, especially since she's waiting until she's 18.
And given the fact she's only 12, she still has plenty of time to change her mind about whether or not she wants to go through with the procedure before she is actually old enough to get it done.
She's still merely a child and children say a lot of things they aren't actually serious about.
It's likely she was trying to impress her friend by using a term familiar only to her age group.
If you have concerns that your daughter is in the wrong crowd, try to have a stronger relationship with her. The best way to find things out is to talk.
I'm 19 and I know I can talk to my Mom about anything.
I might not always want to talk but when I do want to, she's there.
Hope this helped!

Answer 2

A tramp stamp is a tattoo on her lower back and some people refer people who get a tramp stam as easy people but its not always true because i am getting one and i am not like that its just were i want to get it so yeah and about the wrong crowd dont worry about it right now and just because she wants a tattoo doesnt mean anything its something that she just finds interest in and any ways i wanted one to when i was 12 but i wasnt hanging out with the wrong crowd unless you consider geeks a wrong crowd

Answer 3

If you're really worried about what type of crowd your daughter is in, I think the answer would be to talk to her instead of asking a bunch of random people on the internet. You could even ask her what a tramp stamp is, and why she wants one. The best place to find out what's going on with your daughter is FROM YOUR DAUGHTER.

Answer 4

From what I understand a tramp stamp is a tattoo that goes along your lower back.. It's really nothing to worry about its just what a lot of people call that kind of tattoo.. My sister is 34 and thats what she calls hers. I'm 25 just so you know.. I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about at all.. She did say she was going to get it when she's 18..

Answer 5

A "tramp Stamp" Is a tattoo on the lower back above the buttocks and below the beltline. When girls wear low-slung pants and bend or kneel, etc, the tattoo will peak out.

First off, I have a tattoo in that area and I'm about as far from a tramp as you can get. I can count my sexual partners on one hand and I'm 26. So the cultural "Slang" for a tattoo in that area does not mean anything other than that's where you chose to put your tattoo.

Secondly, the fact that she's 12 and using that term means nothing reflecting her friends. Realistically, an adult will find flaws with all of the kids her age no matter what "crowd" it is. IF your daughter becomes sexually active, a druggie, etc, THEN worry about her friends.
Saying she wants the cultural term for a lower-back-tattoo when she's 18?? At LEAST she's waiting until she's 18!!

Do not base your judgement on your daughter or her friends based on something you overheard. She's at the age where she's going to try to do stuff to "express herself."

I wouldn't confront your daughter in the context of "I heard you say XYZ to your friend the other day- what did you mean by that?"
Instead, I'd say something like "Dad and I watched a movie the other night after you went to bed and obviously we're not as "hip" as we thought...what's a "tramp stamp?""

Do NOT forbid her from getting a tat. Do NOT make a big deal out of it. The more you dig your heels in and resist, the bigger her determination will become and the more likley she will be to do this without you knowing!

You could casually say something like "Well, good thing you have to be 18 to get a tattoo- that way you're 100% sure about what design you get since you have to live with it for the next 90 years!"

I knew by 15 that I wanted a tat. And I waited till 22 to get one.

The best kids I've ever met have been raised by parents who learned to "pick their battles." They didn't make mountains out of molehills. They let their kids make mistakes and understand consequences but with supportive and understanding parents. They had a mutually loving and respectful relationship with their kids.

The worst kids? Parents who did the "I forbid" and "You're not allowed" and such. These are parents who made BIG deals out of little things and never really let their kids experience life and learn their lessons. These are kids who never got out there and made mistakes to learn what consequences are.

Pick your battles.
Respect your daughter's desire to express herself through art. (Tattooing is a legitimate art form)

Perhaps tell her that if she'd like to highlight her hair, she's at an age where you'd allow that if she buys the dye herself. (Even blue hair is less permanent than a 13 year old getting a tattoo!)

:-)


PS:
At 22 when I got my tattoo, I didn't show/tell my mother for 6 months. She saw me in a swimsuit and saw the tat.
I knew that she thought there is a stigma for folks with tattoos being slutty, druggies, etc and I knew there'd be a fight about the tattoo.
And at 26, my mother has never met my best friends. Why? When I was 12, she forbid me from seeing my friends because she didn't like their hair or their parents or the fact that one of them got to wear black nailpoish or the other had double pierced ears, etc.

Don't make your daughter afraid to talk to you. Its not something that magically repairs itself at 18. Its a lifelong rift. You push her away now, you'll never get it back.

I know. I haven't hugged my mother in 13 years.

Pick your battles.

Just repeat "At least she's waiting till she's 18!"

Answer 6

Tramp Stamp” is a derogatory term referring to a tattoo which a women places on her lower back.
Def. Tramp stamp - 1. a tattoo located above a womans ***.
2.a girl who has been certified by your neighborhood, frat or group of friends as a slut.

So you make up your own mind about the bad crowd.

Answer 7

I don't know what a tramp stamp is. Maybe you should casually ask her in conversation. My 13 y.o. step daughter likes to write dark, death-like poems with her friends. I'm not worried because she is not depressed, but I remember being 12/13. Friends and fitting in are really important, so she may say retarded things, but that doesn't mean she'll turn out bad. No matter who her friends are, she'll hear bad words and be educated on sex from peers in school anyway.

Answer 8

A tramp stamp is a tattoo along the bottom of your back at the pants line.

As far as the wrong crowd that would be your own opinion.

Answer 9

A tramp stamp is a tatoo on your lower back. A lot of women are getting them nowadays. The term is demeaning in my opinion. Someone said that to me (as I have a tatoo on my lower back) and my boyfriend overheard and kicked the crap out of the guy that said it. Your daughter is just becoming a teenager, and using foul language. She is probably not in a bad crowd, but should be monitored for signs of drug and alcohol abuse and depression.

Answer 10

She may not even know what it is herself. Maybe she heard someone else say it and thought it sounded cool and decided to repeat it to see what kind of reaction she would get from her friend. It is just a tattoo though and at the age of 18 she can get one without your permission. She will more than likely change her mind about it by the time she turns 18. If she does want to get a tattoo though wait to talk about it until she brings up the issue. If you don't wait she will accuse you of being a spy and not respecting her privacy. As long as she is not talking about doing drugs or having sex (not in general actually saying that she has had sex or is thinking about it in the near near future) or killing someone or teasing or being teased then don't worry too much.