I Am having problems having sex?

Question

I can not have an organsm or keep my self luubercated no matter what i use ,when trying to stimulate my cliotrus it hurts even if i do it , i have been checked out and everything is good ,i am evenon hormone theraphy ,please serious replies only

Answer 1

Give me a chance here. I know I'm a guy but hopefully I can help. I have dated a number of women who had difficulty generating wetness and needed over the counter lubricants. All but one of them accepted this fact and were at ease with it. My wife, of 11 years, was inconsistent with her wetness before having 3 children. Now we use it every time. For us it really works out well. We use the application of it as a sort of foreplay. The water based lubes wash away very easily with water or a wet washcloth. They are inexpensive and will last a long time. A little goes a long way. As for the hyper-sensitivity, be sure to use plenty of lube. Be gentle. No sharp fingernails or anything with a textured surface. Being relaxed is also a very big part. Try a nice warm bath and a few glasses of wine to help you unwind. A sensuous massage from your partner would be nice too. Just be patient and you will eventually find what works for you. Also, certain medications (especially antidepressants) can have a profound negative impact on your sex drive. Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are not terribly attracted to your partner but I have some other suggestions.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE WELL HYDRATED. Your body won't use it's last water for that, if you're dehydrated your body isn't prepared to nurture a baby and sends you a message by causing you to be uncomfortable in attempted conception. (I am not one to have a lubrication problem, but have on occasion when dehydrated). The clitoral stimulation could hurt too, esp if you're sensitive because of a slight urinary tract infection which you can also bring on by not being properly hydrated. How much water do you really drink in a day? Try drinking some cranberry juice too, it's really good for urinary tract health. When I was on the pill and on Depo Provera I had lubrication problems a lot more often, (I was also a mean person) My husband and I decided on a vasectomy and now things are like they used to be when we were teenagers (without the unbelievable risk we took).

Try lubricating your hand and the whole area when you work on clitoral stimulation. You should be aroused, try thinking about or looking at something that arouses you. Also be very gentle, it's a very sensitive area.

Your partner is probably trying to get right to the business of satisfying himself and doesn't realize that you have needs that are far in excess of his puny wishes. Try more foreplay when you're with your partner so that by the time you get to actual sex you need it and can barely stand it, if you're going to be naturally lubricated and receptive to possible orgasm you will be at that point. Start with having sufficient time to just kiss and touch eachother, it may take a few hours. If he's really bad, give him a book.

When you are aroused your whole vaginal area including your clitorus will swell and become even more sensitive to touch, it makes everything feel good and should help your clitorus feel positive stimulation better and more easily.

Really personal here, but you can stimulate your clitorus with a hand shower, no lubrication issues and shouldn't be painful and as an added perk you come out really clean.

This is almost stupid, but have your partner GENTLY perform oral sex paying special attention to your clitoral area. You should be able to have an orgasm that way (if he's any good at it) and then lubrication is no issue.

Answer 3

Proper stimulation is part of the problem. You really need to get help to truly understand how your body functions. If you are not properly stimulated, then you won't lubricate properly. For now, try K-Y jelly. It will help. It would also help you to relax and enjoy yourself. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. If you are tense, or have some reservation about it, it will show up as a functional problem. A therapist might be of assistance. Talk to the professionals, not the "other girls".

Answer 4

Are you on some type of anti-depresssant treatment?
Sometimes medications given for depression can cause this
problem.
There are many reasons. It is very hard to say.
This is associated to something, as you well know.
Hormone level, but you say you are in hormone therapy...
Is your partner engage in sexual intercourse and is he patience
with you?
Trying to stimulate your clitoris if you are not excited is
going to be uncomfortable. Stop doing that.
Relax, consider talking to your mate if you have one.
Find ways to improve your sex life. Most of the time, this
problems have solutions....just need to find them.
Your mind plays a major role in orgasm activity.....remember that. You may be having intercourse with someone you
are not entirely in love with or deep down inside you are not
excited about. So as a result, you don't get excited enough
to be lubricated and much less have an orgasm.
Investigate all the possiblities.. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

All medical things aside (although there is a possibility).. sex is more psychological than physical. Sometimes if you are unable to orgasm or stay lubricated, it may be because you are unhappy or uncomfortable with the person or yourself. This can happen even if you are unaware of it. However, if this has never been a problem for you it could be a side effect of your therapy. Also, if you have changed your diet, this can also have an effect.

Answer 6

Are you even horny when you have sex? That has alot to do with it your partner. If it's more then the partner thing you might want to try kinky things to get off. Check with the doc and ask questions. I have been told that Astroglide is the best lube. You;ve got to try and see what is the best one to keep you wet. If anything you can go to the toy store and try that if a man and everything else fails.

Answer 7

The hormone therapy you speak of, is this birth control pills or actual hormone pills like premarin? This could be part of why you are dry. Try some Ky jelly. As far as the orgasm goes maybe your not aroused enough. Try getting your partner to learn more about your body and you do the same with his. They do have alot of books out there to help partners learn how to please each other, visit your local bookstore and find a tastefully wrote book.

Answer 8

Maybe your hormone therapy isn't balanced right? Have you had blood tests to check it out? Is it possible that his has you so upset that stress is playing a big part in it? I'm sorry you're going through this. Seriously, have a talk with your doctor. If this isn't something you can discuss with your current doctor, you need a new doctor, maybe a woman. Sex is part of our health. Good luck!

Answer 9

You need a good understanding experienced partner who will
take care of your lubrication problems for you...
Use a good lubricating hand / skin lotion.
Wash with soap & water afterwards...
K/Y & water soluble lubricants are often inadequate...
Oil based lubricants are better but cannot be used with condoms
and should be washed off / out with warm soapy water afer internal use...

Answer 10

You may have a subconcious adversion to sex or you could have form of depression or anxiety. None of these things will show up on a regular medical exam. You might want to consider speaking to a therapist.