i know a guy he is really nice but till he is kinda creepy...he is short fat and has achne all over his face very bad...has a bad dress sense...his achne is so bad it bleeds..his belly hangs over his pants and his belly is bigger then his well u know....he never has anything interesting to listen to or say as he rarely talks.....
YET HE IS TRUST WORTHY DOES ANYTHING I WANT HIM TO RELIABLE ETC ALL THE THING THE BAD BOYS ARENT
however girls can we really be with someone we are not attracted to...thing is his guy is going on 30 has only had 4 sexual relastionships and they left him after 2months none lasted more then that he is really ugly i took him meet some friends and they didnt know he was with me and started laughiing i could c it on their face then there was the look of shock when i said this is such and such
i mean this guy is really sad i dont have sex with him i mean i gave him a hand job other day and he said oh thank you so much like thats the best he had in yrs HELP
2007-01-07 15:31:49 · 24 answers · asked by MissTee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
basically 4 me to get to the point should i stay with this guy 4 stability......Or find someone who make me laugh and give me that butterfly feeling as ill i get when i look at this guy is stomache alcers how every spell it....he is nice but he dont do it for me but neither do the bad guys...i know i will never have a broken heart or be in no love games....
2007-01-07 15:53:20 · update #1
i am not saying i want a bad boy....i am saying is that all there is other then the pretty bad boys ugly men who can get women.....so they over nice to one women to keep her.....i dont want someone to treat me bad and i dont like the hype life of a bad boy just asking is that really what it boils down to settling with someone your not physically attracted to i mean hand job was a pitty thing and he just bought me a car i felt sorry for him i just dont know what to do as he really dont make me smile and i am bored as hell with him..
2007-01-07 15:57:57 · update #2
oh and i am not an ugly girl....5"8 22yrs mixed race measurements dont matter but no i am not ugly thats the thing i feel like beauty and beast....yuck
2007-01-07 17:10:58 · update #3
No dis-respect but basically you are using this guy and selling yourself.A hand job for a car,what's all that about?
He'd probably buy you a house for full blown sex.
You see where I'm coming from, don't you?
This poor chap obviously has'nt got a lot going for him by the way you talk about him,which is a great shame.
My answer to your question is "reverse the situation and ask yourself how would you feel if you were treated the way you are treating him. Imagine being looked upon the way you and your friends look upon him, as a"sad case". Horrible really,isn't it?
This poor chap probably looks the way he does because he has never been involved with anyone who was sincere in the way they felt about him,he has probably been used most of his life.
He may have had a bad childhood ,and parents who never looked after him properly,hence his poor skin, diet ,dress sense, and lack of communiation,nothing can be done regarding his height)but most short men are pretty protective of the people they love and stand up for them,regardless of the size of their apponent.
CLOTHES MAKETH NOT THE MAN.
None of us get a choice about the way we look, and therefore most of us have to live with what we are born with, unless we have enough money to change it.
This chap obviously has no self confidence to be so grateful to you ,for the little bit of attention you gave him.
If he were with someone who really cared for him,they could help him with his dress sense,advise him what treatment to try and make his skin better.(if he can buy you a car,he could have spent the money going to a skin specialist)and as far as his weight is concerned,gentle hints, such as "you know,you'd look so much better with a little weight off". It's amazing how people can change themselves when they know someone is genuinly interested in them.
This chap obviously needs to be re-assured that he is worth loving.
If you really feel what you say about this man, and are (honestly)only seeing him for what you can get out of him,then you know what they say " what goes around,comes around).
Be honest with yourself,look into your heart, you know what you think really don't you?
You must also look at the fact that over the last l5 maybe more years,this chap has taken nothing but abuse from people, at school and after,and you know how cruel school kids are.
Now he has it as an adult, even when he is out with you,( his friend)who he has just bought a car!!!!!.......your not even standing up for him in front of your friends are you, how do you think he must feel? and he's only ever shown you kindness and generosity.
This chap has feeling the same as you and just because he is ugly doesn't change that.
You say your a nice looking girl,your very lucky, but you know what they say " beauty is only skin deep", and at the end of the day,it's what's inside that really counts.
Looking at another side of this relationship (the dark side) you should be very careful how you handle this chap,living the way he has for all these years,could have made him a Phycho.
Years of abuse and lack of self confidence can cause severe mental problems in some people.
If you continue to use and abuse this chap and then dump him, he could turn the other way and become a stalker or worse.Please think carefully about what I have said, I am sixty and a woman of the world ,who as been married 3 times, had several relationships and known hundreds of men,good looking and ugly, which has given me quite an insight into most situations.
I won't tell you what to do, because only you can decide that. Just do the right thing for you and him. Don't hurt him anymore than he has been, through being greedy, you could come seriously unstuck.
2007-01-07 20:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, i think your question is really shallow.. how can u ask it, sounds like u r trying to convince yourself why u shouldn't be with him. looks aren't everything and if u really like someone they become beautiful to you..even if u thought they weren't so attractive on first meeting them.
u say that he's nothing interesting to say, doesn't make u laugh etc.. then there is no point in having a relationship with him at all.. looks won't matter to u if the right man comes along you'll be blind with love!!! the question alone leads me to believe that he's not the right man for u, good looking or not.. only question is, why the hand job? coz he's nice, what about the postman, or milkman, or other friendly people in ur life, would u do the same for them? have u any self esteem? i don't wanna be hard but that was a very intimate act there, does sex mean anything to u.
u are only 22, the world is your oyster..i'm sure you'll have plenty of offers along the way, and i hope for you that prince charming is among them, and that he'll treat u right!
:)
2007-01-07 23:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to sit down with this guy and really speak to him about him. I seems that you dont know an awful lot about him, the things that make him tick etc.
You need to work out if you do actually want to be with him for him warts and all ( forgive the expression )
Phyiscal attraction is and should not be the only thing people look at in a relationship you also need to be able to talk and do things together that you both enjoy. This dosent mean have someone who will do anything fo you as this will not work either.
Try to get to know him inside and out before making any decisions and try and stay clear of pity sex or actions until you have made up your mind as you dont want to lead him on,
2007-01-07 21:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by entertainer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh hun what a mess!! Personally - I dont care how nice a person is on the inside - if I dont get butterflies when I look at them then I know it could never work.
You HAVE to have attraction to a person you intend to get romantically involved with, I dont care that some people will say you can grow to love them - it will never be the same.
Your friends opinions shouldnt affect your decision though - just because they laughed should not deter you from perusing a relationship with this guy IF you can can around his looks.
I mean you must be someway attracted to him if you gave him a hand job - if hes as repulsive looking as you say then you must have found someway of getting over it to be sexually intimate with him.
All I can advise you is to ask yourself - am I going to be embarrassed to be seen in public with this guy - will I be ashamed to introduce him to friends and family - am I capable of having a sexual relationship with him - if you answer no to any of these then I dont see it possible for you to get involved with him - remember there are nice good looking guys out there too! xx
2007-01-08 01:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you came off very shallow. Sounds like you are settling for someone who will do what you want and not someone you want. If you truly have no feelings for him, then don't lead him on. Ok, the car was nice and he follows orders, but is that what YOU want? I don't think so. True, looks are not everything, but love is. You have to stop this "pity" relationship before it goes too far and you cannot get out of it. Hopefully he will understand. Be his friend and stop the sexual favors. Just have some patience that you will find Mr. Right. Good luck.
2007-01-07 16:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are so attractive why dont you use what you know and fix him up. He seems like a loser, but if you like him you can help him. Get some acne medication for him or help him go to a doctor, and then get him in the gym or exercising. For a 22 year old you sound pretty dumb about relationships. If you want to stay with him, help him out, if you want something better let him go. It will only hurt him later on.
What made you want to give him a handjob? think about that, do you like him or not?
2007-01-07 20:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always think that there has to be a balance of both good looks and personality. You can't get by on just one of the ingredients. I know many a girl who perhaps isn't the fittest but we can get on and have a laugh and joke and some good times. On the other hand I know many a gorgeous girl who have absoulutely no personality at all and you certainly couldn't last any time with them. It's a tricky position to be in by all means but I suppose it comes down to what you're willing to accept. As I say, I think it takes a balance of both.
2007-01-07 16:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by thetruthman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you personally thought he was that unattractive that you wouldn't have given him a hand job. I think you are just worried about what your friends think. However, If you are going to dump him or leave him for someone else in the near future then don't put him through that. As for the "bad boy" thing they are the ones that leave you sitting home alone crying. My friend is going through that and it is so rough!! I sit and home crying at night but that is because my husband is a cop. She says its just the same but its not. You need to find a good man not a "bad boy" they are nothing but trouble. Good luck and try to make the best decision.
2007-01-07 15:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are with this man because you know you wont fall in love with him, or probably even like him very much. so you know you wont get hurt. you will never be happy while you are too afraid to get into a `real` relationship. if i were you i would end things with this man before you hurt HIM, and then spend some time looking seriously at why you have so much fear around falling in love and possibly getting hurt. you really need to stop looking at HIS defects and shortfalls, and look at the reasons why you have chosen to be with someone you clearly dont even fancy. maybe look into getting some councelling, (perhaps you have some kind of rejection problems? which is why you choose to be with someone you know will never reject you) i really hope you get to the root of things, but in the mean time, finish it with this guy, you know you dont want him. ps:sorry about my amatuer psychology!!! good luck
2007-01-07 21:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by splee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in general, children ARE annoying, they DO cost a lot of money (indisputable), and they ARE a burden in many ways. So he's right about that. Aside from not having the world's most handsome face, what has he actually done wrong?
2016-05-23 07:15:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋