That sounds terrible...and I'm not some pyschopath or anything, I just simply don't love them. And I'm not going through some 'phase' as a teenager or anything. I have refused to say "I love you" to my mother almost my whole life, even as a kid, because I knew I didn't mean it. I don't want to hurt her, but to me I shouldn't say it if I don't mean it. If I ever do love someone, I'll say it tons. Why don't I though? They didn't mistreat me or anything. If it matters, my father died when I was three, but I've known my step father since I was four.
2007-01-07 15:30:17 · 12 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am a very emotional person, intelligent, and have a ton of love in me...just not for a person.
2007-01-07 15:31:49 · update #1
To the first person: there is truth in what you said, yes. But no, I am not mature; I am an extremely mature person. What you say isn't wrong because it would apply to a great majority of people who feel this way, but it doesn't to me.
2007-01-07 15:43:54 · update #2
it might matter that your real father died when you were so young.
i might be completely off but perhaps you feel a bit unforgiving towards your mother after she remarried because you feel like she just tried to replace your father. it's probably a subconscious feeling that would be hard to identify.
or maybe you just might be going through a phase (not necessarily an immature teenage phase) but you just don't feel comfortable being so affectionate towards your mum.
i hope i helped, sorry if i'm off
2007-01-07 15:40:59 · answer #1 · answered by natalia 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I can't answer that question but I can say you are not alone. I didn't love my mother either.But maybe what you do feel for them might be love, only not on a level you expect. Maybe your idea of what love is might be wrong. Would you feel sad if she was in pain?Would you feel anxious if she was involved in an accident and you didn't know if she was hurt or not. Would you miss her if you didn't hear from her for an extended legnth of time? Maybe you love her as a parent but wouldn't choose her for a friend?You can't compare your "love for your parents" with that of friends. We all need different things and put the one small word of love on it.Good Luck. Hpefully I helped a little bit in some small way.
2007-01-07 15:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're Not expected to be IN love with your parents as you would feel for a girlfriend, those are 2 different types of love. But if you feel respect for your parents that's cool. Just let them know that you appreciate them every now and again especially on Mothers Day and Fathers Day.
2007-01-07 15:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am a mother, and i guess i am answering because i have a son. my son was adopted by his father and me when he was 3 days old. the day of his 4th birthday my husband{his father} died in an accident on his way home for his birthday, he drove a semi. anyway i guess i could not imagine not loving my son and him not loving me. but as to your question i think that maybe it is not you, if you show love to your children then they will know what it is and will be able to love in return. i don't remember a day that i did not show and tell my children that they were loved, not just in words but in the things that i taught them and the things that i did because i love them , i also have a daughter.maybe you felt that you were not important to your parents or that they didn't teach you love in the actions that they showed you. i hope you find a way to come to terms with this before you do fall in love with someone, it may have a negative impact on your relationship.
2007-01-07 16:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is just over-rated. saying 'i love you' doesn't necessarily mean you mean it, but not saying it, doesn't necessarily mean that you don't. it's not about being mature or immature. love for parents is not a definite. just like it's falling in and out of love with a partner, it's not 'wrong' to fall in and out of love for parents. however, it's most likely that u just don't realize that you do 'care' about your parents, and caring is a big part of love. ask yourself, would it matter if ur mom suddenly left you. would you miss her? would you worry? would you feel any slight change in emotions? even hatred?...because if you do, that means that that person has enough impact on you for you to care and affect you in some way, any way... if you don't, then maybe you have to re-evaluate yourself and think about what you really care about...
2007-01-07 15:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by chicken_run98228 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I don't know why you don't love your parents. I told my kids they don't have to love me if they don't want to. The only thing I require is respect, which of course I give back full measure and it is the main thing I teach in my family.
No one in this world can choose their family and, or their parents. I wish could have chosen both, yet that is neither here nor there.
Just keep in mind every nice word you say and, or nice thing you do for your parents is a gesture of love.
Just keep the respect for them and I know some parents don't deserve it; I hope yours does.
2007-01-07 17:21:43 · answer #6 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you do its just that since birth we are conditioned that we "must" love our parents. Its just a given. And so maybe with that you havent allowed yourself to learn to love her. Love is learned and realy shouldnt be demanded. I am sure she doesnt force it on you but society does...heck isnt there some commandment or something that says "love and honor thy parents"
Get over the notion that you "have" to love her and then maybe in time you will learn to love her.
2007-01-07 15:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
intelligent? in whose eyes? yours- HA!
do you realize what your mother went through to birth and raise you. you are utterly ungrateful.
I have loved my stepson since he was 4, too. My reproductive system is so screwed up I could not have kids. So my energy went into my wife's only child. He is now 31. He hugs and kisses his mom, and hugs me with the same fervor. We were lower middle income, so we did not have a lot - but we HAD a lot!
And so many memories.
I am sorry for you. You probably don't even love yourself.
One day you may realize the joy that you have missed
the reality will set in when you have kids and they exhibit your behaviour
i truly hope you prove me wrong - for your sake
2007-01-07 15:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by tomkat1528 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Why do you think you don't love your parents? I don't know, I'm alt the way over here and I don't know you. If you want to figure out why I suggest you go to a therapist to figure it out.
2007-01-07 16:02:34 · answer #9 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are immature. One day you will look back on your life and realize the consequences of the decisions you've made. Yes. I said decision. Loving someone is a decision. You sound hateful and I am so glad you are not my son. What a heartbreak for your mother.
2007-01-07 15:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Scunnered! 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋