do you like my rhymes?

Question

i am trying to convey a sense of pressure and responsibility.

i gotta grab a cab and it makes me sad
gotta make money like my dear ole dad
gotta hit some greens but i only got schwag
gotta hit on preteens at the local wags

this is all i have so far. pretty good huh?

sweet where is your beat? let me check the heat, check it to see if it's replete with the knowledge that i speak.

Answer 1

lame, you require the fire to fuel the flames of desire
burn green dreams to fly higher walk cleaner then a felon with priors
rap like a street general on wires tapped by federal liars
shoot for the stars ice the moon see mars in my room
the night sings your end soon read it like runes and
turn it whip it spit it on shrooms

say you spit to tha mirror and see how you like it needs some work tho.

Answer 2

It's rather lame
you're sounding tame
get yourself off the shelf
get a book that you can look
for words which rhyme for this time

Answer 3

well i guess but the lyrics are rancid
it make a good but inapropriente song
but i already got a good tune to it
i write music and it came to me