I have a suspicion that she told him and have not talked to her since. I really like her but she wont return my calls. I don't want to ruin the friendship, what should I do?
2007-01-07 14:24:19 · 30 answers · asked by Roger S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maybe you shouldn't thought before having sex with her...
2007-01-07 14:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing first . . . when a girl tell you that you are her friend . . . as a rule, that usually prevent you from ever having sex with her. In her mind, you are out of the question.
You broke the mode . . . her boyfriend was passed out, which probably meant she was pretty out of it herself. She may feel that she was taken advantage of, or she is confused.
All out . . . the friendship may be over . . ., but I would say give it time. Stop calling her . . . because it make you sound like a desperate stalker.
If you call her, leave her this message. "Since that moment, when we were you know. Things have been strange with us. I have a feeling that you are mad, upset, and confused about what happen. I treasure our friendship, but more importantly I treasure you . . . so I am going to leave you alone. Let you have some time, to think things over, and reexaming our friendship and you current relationship with your boyfriend who is probably pissed at me. I am not going to say, I'm sorry . . . because there is nothing to be sorry about . . . I care for you . . . and it hurt me to say . . . that I will miss you, I wish you the best, and hopefully one day, we can meet again . . . and that things will be better between the two of us."
You can put this in your own words . . . to make it sound like you, but you get the idea. After this message . . . do not call her, do not go to her house, do not do anything. Just do your own things, if you see at a function, you can say hello . . . and just walk away . . . you really shouldn't say hello, let her approach you. One her birthday, send her a text or a card . . . on Christmas and new years the same thing. Do not send anything for Valentine's day. Keep the communication plain and simple . . . like . . . "How have you been doing? Happy Birthday" and similiar to that. You understand . . . you are out of her life temporarily, then one day . . . she will return your message . . . and may text you back . . . wondering if you have some time. Remember one thing . . . you will be busy . . . say, "I love to . . . but I have something I really need to finish. It is nice hearing from you . . . how have you been? I really can't chat long . . . see you." She will call again, don't worry. She may renew the friendship or it can be something more - because she will remember all the good times, remember the confusion she is currently facing. And it may develop into something new.
So my suggestion is . . . give her time and space . . . don't suffocate her.
2007-01-10 04:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by Tag Your It 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't return the calls then sounds like the friendship is already ruined dude. You might make one more try and send her a card/note. But then, if she told the boyfriend, HE may have asked/told her not to communicate with you any longer. And reverse this situation. How would you react if you had been the one passed out and your girlfriend slept with her best male friend? Would you be secure enough to allow her to keep the friendship going with this guy AND not get all jealous and possessive? Just food for thought.
2007-01-07 14:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by Stuart W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh, I think it may already be ruined. Don't expect it to ever go back to the way it was before you had sex with her. The only thing you can do is wait it out. Maybe she'll call, maybe she wont. Obviously what happened was a huge mistake, but that should go without saying. If your friendship is solid, she will call. You should leave her alone until then.
2007-01-07 14:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show up at her house, school, favorite place to hang out, etc. You need to talk with her. Hey, if you crossed the line, so did she! You both have to accept responsibility for your actions while the "boyfriend" was passed out. Sounds to me like you need to work out a better definition for your relationship. Are you friends or lovers? Who prefers women? Who prefers men? Who goes either way? Three of you involved here. NEED to identify and stick with some boundaries!
2007-01-07 14:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by pamela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already ruined that relationship when you slept with his girlfriend. I would give it sometime for things to cool off and then try to work it out. Be sure and admit that you feel what you did was wrong and don't get defensive, take it like a man...
2007-01-07 14:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your best bet is to go see her. if she still doesn't want to talk to you then there is a chance that things are sour if she does talk to you then you need to find out what is on her mind to see where your friendship stands. if she is a true friend then everything should be OK. if she talks to you then find out where she wants to go from there and if she wont talk to you then get someone you can trust to speak to her. Good luck.
2007-01-07 14:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by dyersburgdelilah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a little late to worry about the friendship. Talk about putting the gene back in the bottle! good luck pal.
2007-01-07 14:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by dana5169 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have ruined the friendship already
2007-01-07 14:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by petmomx9 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That would be "passed out" (asleep) versus "past" (something that happened yesterday or before, in the past)...
What should you do? Stop being a scumbag and so should she. It doesn't say much about either of your character to have sex while either of you is in a relationship.
Watch out for that karma...
2007-01-07 14:28:21 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unfortunately it sounds like the friendship is already ruined
2007-01-07 14:26:16 · answer #11 · answered by ChElle256 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋