why do some people always look at the negative side of others?

Question

especially in old age why do they complain so much? just can't take it anymore.i know that we have to be caring and understanding towards them but this negative energy is getting on to me.any suggestions.

Answer 1

What happens to people in old age?

- They undergo certain psychophysical changes that makes them emotionally fragile, more uninihibited, and less capable of reasoning. So they overreact to things.
- They become week and suffer from various aches and pains. That makes them unhappy and helpless.
- They become lonely. Nobody talks to them. The young ones just throw a perfunctory smile at them while passing by, careful not to look at them too long lest they will have to face some unwelcome questions. The old people realize all this and feel more miserable everyday.
- The world also has changed so much from what they were used to that they feel left out and confused.

Overall, old age means miseries galore and no companion, not even any positive outlet for their frustration. After all they are human beings, not vegetables. What goes in must come out. So what comes out is complaints, negativism, and cynicism.

I understand that it is equally hard for people who have to take care of old people. The daily dose of negativism can make their life hell.

What can you do in this situation? Use your positive energy to counter their negative energy.

- Talk to them, share your views with them, and listen to them with sympathy. It will improve your relationship with them. That will not only reduce the complaints, but also make it more tolerable.
- If they say something stupid, smile. If you see them with a grumpy face, crack a joke. If they complain, show concern. Your reaction can make it better or worse.
- Show genuine affection and care, don't fake it. Howsoever screwd up their minds are, they know the real from the pretentious so far as feelings go. If you are looking forward to getting them off your back, they will know it, and they will still be complaining even though practically you may be taking care of them in the best possible manner.
- Finally, don't be harsh to yourself. Feel happy and proud that you are a good human being; otherwise, you wouldn't be taking care of an old person.

Congratulations for being a good person and wish you all the best!

Answer 2

Every aged person has seen the youth and has done what a youth does. But a youth has not seen the old age and problems associated with it. This leads to intolerance towards the aged.
An elderly person has by experience learned what are the follies of the youth. He/she therefore tries to prevent the younger generation from committing those mistakes. And, this leads to problems.
If the elderly knew and gave some allowance for the youth of new generation, and if the youth of today knew that one day he too grow old, and not look down upon the way he is doing right now, then there is the possibility of finding a common ground for patching up and becoming more harmonious.

Answer 3

Some people always look at the negative side of others because we have a tendency to view the world with our emotions... if we are upset everything is bad, if we are happy things are good. The elderly can very often be heard complaining and being negative, but think of the stage they are in in their life, sadly for many elderly people (whether it is true or not) they feel they are just waiting for death. The have lived their lifes, loved, and maybe lost, have adored children who may not call them or give them attention as often as they would like. They also could be put off by the differences they see in the youth of today in comparision to their own youth.. times have certainly changed ! It is important to be caring and understanding towards them, my best advice for dealing with someones negative energy is ignore it, don't let it bring you down... and try to redirect them, get them talking about a fond memory, something that wont make them so cranky !

Answer 4

We (yes, I'm talking to myself, as well...) must remember that things break down when they get old....

Clothes
Cars
Plumbing
Elbows
Minds...

Many old people's memories and minds break down. Their memory becomes kinda like swiss cheese- they only remember certain things... sometimes it's just the stuff about the kids, sometimes it's the money, sometimes it's just the bad stuff....

My grandfather has gotten that way in the last year. I was caring for him, doing my best to do right by him, be "responsable"... No matter what I did, it wasn't enough. He'd always dwell on the little things I'd let slide, and let everyone know how much of a flake I was... I understand the frustration!! My mom told me once that the man I was caring for wasn't really my grandfather- that man was no longer around, because the disease (dementia) had taken over. His negativity was just the disease, it wasn't really him... That advice helped.

There's also a book called "The 36-Hour Day"-- it's for people who are caring for dementia patients, usually aging family members. It explains the challenges of the situation, and it may help you.

Don't let yourself get too down or burned out. Be willing to call in help, whether it's your job, or if you're the at-home care provider, like I was. If you're frustrated, the care you can provide can be compromised. Take a break once in a while- Take care of yourself, too...

Best of luck!!!... and send me an email if you're having a rough day... I usually check my email 5 or 6x weekly.

Answer 5

I think some old people complain because their health isn't as good as it use to be, and they just don't feel well, and also, some older people are more closed minded as they get older, and just don't try to see things any other way, than their way. I have met some very nice older people though, that have a great outlook on life, and I have even talked to a 92 year old woman, that believe it or not was going to college, and doing well at that! Some people at any age are just nothing short of amazing!

Answer 6

I admit that I am pessimistic. That doesnt necessarily make me a bad person. I can only try and understand why I am the way I am (sexually, verbally, and emotionally abused throughout childhood). Do I look at everything through completely negative eyes? Of course not. But I am cynical, and I think, in my opinion, that makes me a realist. If I give everyone the benefit of a doubt and expect only good until someone shows the bad, I could be knee deep in it by then.
If you are trying so hard to be caring and understanding to those who you find 'negative', maybe they are only looking at your efforts as if you are only doing it because you want something. In that case, it be best if you simply attempt to steer clear.

Answer 7

There are a couple of reasons for that.

First of all old people feel insecure,and the second reason is that empty mind is a devils workshop.

In an attempt to alleviate this insecurity and loneliness they tend to view the world from their perspective and act in a cranky sort of way,commenting on everything they dislike,which can be quite irritating.

I'd suggest that you treat these guys with respect, make them feel great and see the difference.If you can't then you can either choose to act or ignore.

Answer 8

Because old aged had experienced the failure and success over the negative side. The pain they would have suffered. They know what is the difficulty to correct the negative side, if one had in his life. So normally old aged advise youngsters their negative side.
Youngster can only learn with the old aged practical experienced gained by them in their own life.

Answer 9

Well thats because they only want to see that part. There are a lot of people that judge before knowing them and just say negative things but they dont know if they are sure but still do it. Well yeah elder people complain a lot of many things that is happening right now because in there time it wasnt as it is right now. To many bad things happening.

Answer 10

I agree with the other answers, although old people can be a pain in the rear, don't forget their memory isn't as good anymore and they were once young and full of life and love, and now they have nothing. One day you'll be just like them, so treat them the way you would like to be treated when you're their age. Remember what goes around, comes around.