okie heres the deal my 16 year old friend has a baby, hes 14 months, it was her fist time, and the condom ripped, the boyfriends still arounde but hes a complet asswhole that orders her around like a slave, she would be better off with out him, it kills me to c her cry over this jerk (ive been frineds wit her for 12 years) what should i do/ say?????
2007-01-07 14:16:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I would offer the friend support but stay out of her affairs. She will have to be the one to notice her baby's daddy is a "jerk". If you tell her something she is not ready to hear, you may wind up losing her as a friend and right now it appears she needs all the friends she has. Just provide emotional support for her and her baby. Good luck.
2007-01-07 14:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by ILOVELUCYFAN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend not to get in the middle.
If you intercede and defend your friend against him, you could make her situation worse and possibly lose her altogether. Stay on her side without judging her for staying.
My best friend helped me through dealing with a controling person/abusive relationship, not by being my psychiatrist or listening to me go on and on about how miserable I was; but by reading the bible to me starting with Gospel of John. Another good one was the definition of love (1 Corinthians 13:4) I had many conversations with the Lord about what I should do and when, things just kind of worked themself out.
I know it sounds cheezy, but I was really saved at that time!
Hopefully soon, she'll realize she's worth more than that and move on.
This too shall pass.
2007-01-07 23:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by Feyandjeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do.
If it helps you to decide, your friend isn't being truthful, the condom did not break. If there was a broken condom she would have gotten the morning after pill. She didn't. That leads me to believe that something else happened.
I know it sucks, but she has a baby with this guy. Even if he's a jerk, she'll know him forever. She has a baby and you'll graduate high school and go to college. Maybe you'll still keep in touch, but in my experience, it's hard to stay friends with someone whose life is so different from yours.
2007-01-07 22:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by pinwheelbandit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to tell you this story, but I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO IT!
Quite some time ago, I worked with a darling 18 yr. old girl
who was raised Jehovah Witness and was a total virgin and
very ignorant of worldly ways. One of the 20 yr old counselors
took her out and filled her with beer and thought it would be cute
to rid her of her virginity. Of course she got pregnant and he
got lost. She was shunned by most everyone in her church and
had nowhere to live, so she came to live with me.
She was of course opposed to abortion and so got on Welfare and Medi-Cal. She got a cute little apartment and
was so happy with her darling baby.
There was a young man who was gaga about her but she
never noticed him because he was very tall and gawky and
not really COOL. Her church would not let her attend as she
was an unwed mother. This big gawky galloot told her how much he loved her--asked her to marry him--she accepted--
she got back into the church--He became a "witness" and
as far as I know, they are still in a happy marriage. Morale
of this story....Love sometimes DOES win out.
2007-01-07 22:37:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive and be there. By the sounds of it, she is going to need a good friend who will stick by her htrough thick and thin. Don't give up on her. It may kill you to see her in pain, but don't leave her. She needs you.
2007-01-07 22:22:02 · answer #5 · answered by offroadmolly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that it makes you sad to see her like that , remind her of the fun times you had b4 this jerk came along , tell her you will always be there for her , but never tell her she should leave him she has to make that decision on her own .
2007-01-07 22:29:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEING A FIRST TIME MOM AT 16 IS TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT AN IDIOT FATHER AROUND. SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE A MAJOR TALK WITH THIS DUDE.....
2007-01-07 22:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her exactly how you feel. She may be mad at you at first, but give it time and she will realize that you are right.
2007-01-07 22:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she wants to leave him tell her to do it and that you will help her by helping with money or babysitting or whatever you can and let her know that you will be there for her
2007-01-07 22:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by luv4horses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about your concerns and continue to be as supportive a friend as you can.dont make her choose because she will probably choose him.
2007-01-07 22:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋