Ok, my wife is an exotic dancer and I am fine with that. She heard a rumor that down in new orleans dancers are doing real good. So we both agreed that she can take a trip down there with a dancer friend. Well, while she was down there, she partied the whole time without working, and everytime I tried to call her while she was down there she ignored the phone calls. She also went ahead and just flashed her breasts to multiple men for beads. Instead of actually working she just partied. And then when she told me all this when she get off the plane I got really pissed off, and really haven't talked to her for the rest of the day. She doesn't even seem to care, like it was nothing that instead of actually doing what she told me she was going to. But I really see this as I can't trust her no more, cause if she can lie to me about going down there to work, what else would she be lieing to me to? you know? So do I have a right to be upset?
2007-01-07 14:08:04 · 36 answers · asked by Stephen D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact that she is a dancer doesn't mean anything, I've been married to her for two years and nothing bad has happened. I was simply stating her occupation for the reason of why she went to new orleans. She has never cheated on me or nothing like that
2007-01-07 14:13:19 · update #1
We did both come to agreement of that, we already knew where she wanted to try.
2007-01-07 14:14:49 · update #2
Me as her husband allowed her to do this, because the rumor she heard would increase our income about $8000 a month. So that is originally why she went on the trip, then instead of her working almost everynight where we live now, she could just work one night a week.
2007-01-07 14:25:33 · update #3
She is not the only money maker in this relation, I make 3k a month alone
2007-01-07 14:29:59 · update #4
To the lady that said that the is the only time the beads thing happen, your wrong, bourbon street is the main party street in new orleans, it doesn't have to be mardi gras time for drunk women to show there breasts for beads
2007-01-07 14:34:13 · update #5
Well alright, I am not forcing her to strip. She does it on her own free will, and she likes the money, so thats why she continues doing it. I am not going to be as mean as to control her life with telling her she can't strip, as that is how I did meet her. As for the drugs and alcohol, she doesn't do that stuff, she doesn't even smoke. So she is not the typical dancer that you all know.
2007-01-07 15:07:21 · update #6
to the answerer 'driver' how am I treating her as a prostitute? We have a child that we raising, and that is why we like to be financially set, I would like it more that she would get a normal job. But like I said previously it would be contradicting of me to try to get her to quit because that is how I met her
2007-01-07 15:13:24 · update #7
yes you have a right to be upset although, your the one who let her go there, your the one who doesnt care that she dances so, you were asking for trouble in the marriage anyways
2007-01-07 14:11:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Her behavior is deplorable and her attitude is repugnant. A loyal and devoted wife does not behave like a drunken sorority girl. She went down there on business and did NO business. Then ignored you while she lived it up like a single girl. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
You have every right to be mad, and every right to be suspicious. This is a trust issue.
To the fact that your wife is an exotic dancer. It doesn't matter, being a stripper does not mean that one could have predicted this sort of behavior. My mother was a topless dancer, in fact that is were she met my father. She was a single mother who didn't get support from her son's father (her Ex-husband) and made more money in one night flashing her breasts than she made in a WEEK as a nurse on the night shift. This was in the 70's. Sex sells, and it makes money to support a family. It says NOTHING about her character, it was just her job. After she got married to my father she quit her dancing job. They will celebrate 31 years together this Feb.
2007-01-07 14:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in your rights to be upset as she ignored your calls while she was out of town on "business". The fact that she didn't actually conduct any business would be another irritant. You need to sit down with her and explain why you're mad, and next time a trip comes up, either say no, or go with her.
There are a lot of trust issues that have been marred based on what you're stating, so I really think that you may want to consider couples counseling for a few sessions to iron out some of the rough parts.
good luck
2007-01-07 15:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by mike w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not gonna bash you. I think you're wife hasn't been completely honest with what went on in New Orleans, and I understand why you're angry. You have every right to be upset. You let her strip because you thought it was only a money thing, but it sounds like the sex business may have gone into other areas as well. You have a lot of trust in people, but it's time to get a little perspective on whether she can handle stripping without breaking the trust and possibly the fidelity of your marriage.
2007-01-07 15:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are in the right for being upset. Whether she is an exotic dancer or a secretary, the reason you're so upset is because she lied. Honesty is the most important aspect of any relationship. I would be upset and pissed also. It would be different if she just said i want to go there to party, but to lie makes it even worse.
2007-01-07 14:26:13 · answer #5 · answered by blueidgirl 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am a bid confused, she's a stripper and you got mad because she flashed some guys for beads. Shes a stripper. Did you really expect her to go to New Orleans with another stripper to work. Come on. You have to be serious. I know you have been to her job, right. You see what goes on in there, what do you think is going to happen when she is not around you. Why didn't you go with her? Who wants to work if they are going to the party state? Stripper or not. There is nothing wrong with stripping, I did it myself when I was younger, and I also remember all the drugs and alcohol. Naked girls and alcohol is a dangerous combination. If you love her well talk to her, if she thinks she did nothing wrong well then maybe she needs to get her priorities straight, or maybe you do. She strips for money, why not for beads too. You know what I'm saying. Talk to her and maybe she should find another profession.
2007-01-07 14:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by betterwithage 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
yes, you have a right to be upset even if she does dance for a living, you are her husband and she should respect you, not treat you badly, just because she thinks she can. how would she feel i the roles were reversed. she needs to realize that one day when her body falls apart and she grows old you are the one that truly loves her every one else just wants to use her for sex. your intentions are pure and you are right for being mad. you aren't just a boyfriend the two of you made vows together and she is crossing the line and she knows it but in the end she'll realize she's wrong. good men are hard to find and if she continues to abuse you the way she has been and taking advantage of you she deserves to lose you, and when all the partying is over she'll be sick!
2007-01-07 15:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by Chava 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my husband was an exotic dancer and did what your wife did to me I would have to say that I would be ticked off too. I have to agree with the others and ask what did you expect from a stripper, I mean as far as morals and such, you really think that a woman that takes off her clothes for other men isn't going to be tempted...its like a kid in a candy shop for goodness sake. Wise up.
2007-01-07 14:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by jupitor 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes u have every right to be upset with her,she lied to u, she didn't go there to work, just to party,the worst thing is her lying to u than not even caring when u confronted her about it. means she no longer respects u, plus she ignored your calls, if u feel u can't trust her anymore, the marriage doesn't have a chance. she needs to acknowledge that she has hurt u, but it doesn't seem as if it is going to happen.only u can decide if u would be better off with or without her. u really don't appear to be top priority in her life. when we are married to someone, we need to be forthright and honest with our husbands, and do all we can do honor and respect him, unless that is we no longer love or want them.
2007-01-07 14:24:59 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to rethink your feelings about being married to an exotic dancer. you are upset, however, you say your are fine with her being a stripper, yet, you are not fine that she partied and flashed multiple men for beads. basically she worked for a few necklaces.
if you wanted a good girl who didn't lie and disrespect you, then you should've married someone else.
you may be her husband, but you are also just another guy giving her money to strip.
2007-01-07 14:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think she honestly needs to grow up about it. She went there to work, not party.
Next time, go along.
You do have a right to be upset and be concerned. You said it yourself, "what else would she be lieing to me to".
Her not answering the phone was a sign knowing she was doing wrong and didn't want you to confront it and make her actually stop having her fun partying. It as easier to ignore you as distance.......
What was her excuse for not working?
Are you sure this rumor was not made up by her just for her to have a reason to party?
2007-01-07 14:52:15 · answer #11 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋