Was I abused as a child?

Question

I don't know what to do. This year I did an evaluaton of my life and I really think I might have been abused a child. I don't remember it at all, but I have some symptoms. When I was in my teens, I was very promiscuous. I stopped being promiscuous in my early twenties, but I would get in relationships with people that I knew would not be suitable for a serious relationship. Then I when I got older, I fell in love with two men that I believe are both closeted homosexuals.(i read that this is a way of avoiding intamcy) I also have never achieved orgasm during pentration except for two times after I smoked marijuana.

I'm 28, so I don't want to throw any more of my life away.. but I don't know how to make myself better.

I don't have money for counseling and I'm not even sure if I was abused, but obviously something's wrong with me. Can any that's been abused shed some light? Do any of you know of any books that might help?

Answer 1

seek professional help immediately.

Answer 2

I too have had many of the same symptoms that you have had and I know that I was abused as a child. I have struggled with this for years. I have told a few trusted people in my life what happened to me but I have never been able to completely explain everything. I believe I have overcome these serious problems from my past by surrounding myself with people who truly love me. I don't think you can ever really trust anyone if you have had these kinds of problems. I do believe however that you can find an inner peace and let the pain go. I forgave the person that abused me and in doing so I forgave myself. I used to have flashbacks of the abuse and didn't want to think about it or discuss it. I have found that being alone in a safe quiet place has helped me to sort through my issues. Don't use the abuse as a crutch and make it your excuse for not being happy.

Answer 3

Uhm, if you don't remember being abused it's very unlikely that you were actually abused as a child and quite frankly, it doesn't matter. Having issues does not have to be a result of abuse. Being promiscuous or getting into relationships with people who are not available only says that you like sex and don't want commitment for whatever reason. The inability to achieve orgasm during penetration is actually quite common among women because we simple don't have the nerve endings and because of the ingrained societal veiws of female sexuality. It doesn't mean you were abused. It's very normal. Try clitoral stimulation during penetration.

You might want to look into your community as low cost or free counselling or group counselling is sometimes available, but from what you describe there isn't really anything seriously wrong with you. Thinking that there is something wrong with you or obsessing over whether or not you repressed abuse is unhealthy behaviour and will only make things worse.

Answer 4

There's really no way for a stranger to "know" whether or not you were an abused child.

You behavioral history does seem to suggest to me that you do have issues that seeking therapy might help. If you have health insurance, you can "self-refer" meaning you can decide for yourself to see a specialist like a psychiatrist without a primary physician's referral. Your insurance would defray most of the cost, and you must decide that your health is worth sacrificing for.

If you have no health insurance, the call your county health department and ask if they have any programs that can help the uninsured.

Or try calling on a member of the clergy. Many have been trained in counseling similar to a psychologist's "talk it out" therapy.

Finally-- you must DECIDE to change your choices in life. You can't avoid every pitfall, but you can minimize the impact of your own mistakes and avoid repeating them.

Answer 5

It is hard to say if you were abused in this kind of a format. You show many of the symptoms of abuse. If you cannot afford counseling, go to the library and read some books on the topic or search the Internet for some articles. There are many self help materials on this subject. I wish you well.

Answer 6

look sounds more like you just have led a disfunctional lifestyle because of a disfunctional upbringing the abuse may have been more in the form of mental or emotional or verbal probly all of them like me I to have the same symptoms getting in relationships with every looser coming and going and once someone actually said that to me and were sick of it because they thought I was better, the same pattern of being promiscous I just boil that down to my sex drive which is cool no shame there and the orgasm drom penetration thing I recently in the past 3 yrs learned that just takes the right guy and I to get better effect on that from drugs not that you wanna know this but i'm on methadone and cocaine brings the opiats down enough to have that happen more easily for me to the point its actually backed up like and i'll have several self inflicted in a row unbeleivable actually like 7 times awsome anyways I also dont want to throw my life away but cant see past this people just say make difference decisions with men and so on but for whatever reason I dont find any so called excitment in that or know any difference, councseling helps but isnt the key well maybe for you so try it but It really truly goes to that saying I always put on here life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it, and it truly is the way you choose to look at things and you can change that you really can there are plenty of people out there with worse things that have happened to them and they choose to go past it and live without it in there lives anymore now I do think it always is there in some form but how much is your choice I know your looking for something more like I do I tried drugs I wish there was a pill to take every morning but theres not and even knowing what I just told you that its what I make of it doesnt even do it even though it is what will make the biggest difference i'm just this way I truly think its the genes oh and depresstion medication does IT REALLY DOES make this better helps you take the first step in making your life functional and there is FREE clinics out there you just have to look so in a sense there is pills but not a magical one that does it all it will be a series of things but reaching out and doing is the first step and I hope it works out for you it would be a nice change for one of us, good luck Kim

Answer 7

There are such things as repressed memories. It happens often in horrible events such as childhood abuse. But don't jump to conclusions. Talk to your family, but don't push a memory.

Answer 8

i have symptoms of blindness, my eyesight keeps failing me right around sleeptime, does that mean i am going blind?

if you don't remember being abused then perhaps you were never abused and you are just a tramp

Answer 9

If you were abused you'd know it. Maybe you're just a big ho-bag.TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR HO-DUM.

Answer 10

i would ask that in another category, you might get better answers there