How can i get a married man to stay away!!!?

Question

What started off as a work friendly relationship turned into a close frienship but crossed into flirting .I went through a terrible break up and my fellow male co-worker who is married no kids though was there for me.He had problems with his new wife not working , wanting kids automatically, refusing to make any effort to cook or clean and spending money without thought.I offered suggestions and that how the friendship got started.After a trip for work to Bremuda (we work for an insurance company) he started flirting with me and that has lead to close hugging.Plus he patted my butt i am not sure if that was on purpose though.I am so confused this has been going on for 2 1/2 years? I have started ignoring him and that is making him come on harder

I feel like i am being used and have started to go out on dates with single men again one last night actually.But married guy will not lay off saying he needs me and exc.I am even considering taking a job in another state to get away!

I have feelings for him but understand he is married and dont want things to go any farther!

Answer 1

Just tell him you don't feel comfortable doing stuff like that and to please stop. Yes, he's gonna be pissed at you for a while but he'll get over it.

Answer 2

Tell him to stay away, that your not interested in him, and if that don't work get a restraining order against him.

If he won't leave you alone after being told and ignored, that's sexual harassment, and talk with someone in the company like the boss and file a complaint with them, and even if you have to, file a sexual harassment claim against him. Also if it helps you just to get away from him by taking a job in another town, go for it. Do what you have to do.

Answer 3

Good Idea!!!! Take the job in another state and get away from this jerk!! He is no good and he will only cause you more pain.
He is telling you that he has a wife that won't cook or clean and is pressuring him to have children but he is handing you a line of crap! Run and run as fast as you can, he's scum!!!! I feel sorry for his wife, she probably has no idea what a dirt bag she is married to.

Answer 4

I would simply tell him I appreciated him being there for me while I was going through my break up, and I have enjoyed his friendship up until he started flirting so strongly that it made me uncomfortable. I'd tell him that I wasn't interested in more than friendship. After that, if he continued to hit on me and make me uncomfortable I would file a sexual harrassment suit on him. You don't have to endure his comings on to you. Either that or threaten to call his wife and tell her what he's doing. That might run him off.? ? ?

I dunno any great all wise answer I'm sorry, but I wish you the very best of luck and wisdom in this matter.

Remember you don't have to endure sexual harassment. There are laws to protect you.

Answer 5

First of all - VERY IMPORTANT - your behaviour has to be clear and consistent first - if you don't want your relationship (and you do have one) to progress, then you need to keep the boundaries clear. No hugging, kissing, patting, touching, etc. No intimate conversations or meals. If he starts talking about really personal things, then change the subject. Encourage him to talk to his wife about problems in his marriage, not you! You need to be clear with him and tell him you appreciate him as a FRIEND but that's it. If he persists, you could always threaten to tell his wife.

Answer 6

Okay,complications.......
Feelings are hard to get rid of,believe me.You need to try and move on.If he really will not stop bothering you tell him you will let his wife know.That may let him realize you are serious.
A word of warning~
Be more careful.Those males have a way of saying and doing the right things.Married or not,emotions can be strong between people.Its hard to figure them out,just get out of the situation.He will not leave his wife, so don't think he will!

Answer 7

You are the first woman I know that is fighting off a married man. Good for you. Tell him this is make you uncomfortable an dif he doesn't stop. You are going to see HR for sexual harrasement. If he does not stop or threathen you. Then quit your job or ask for a transfer. Good luck!

Answer 8

Tell him to knock it off and you dont date married men. Stick to your word and dont encourage him in the least bit! You wouldnt want someone to break up your marriage would you? Think about his wife who probobly doesnt have a clue! Dont even flirt with him or give him any hope!

Answer 9

If he is patting your butt and you're not reporting it as sexual harassment then you've been doing NOTHING to repel his advances. It is against the law in the U.S. for ANY employee to tuch another employee that way and it SHOULD be reported. Since you have not reported it you obviously enjoy the attention which is WHY he keeps coming on to you.

Answer 10

Do not let him drive you awway from your job and home...confront him on the issue and then make it very known that you are happily dating other men. If he does not get the hint, take it to a higher level ( eg. sexual harrassment). No one should be making you feel uncomfortable.

Answer 11

You need to be straight-up with this guy and tell him you're not interested in anything more than friendship. Just tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does ___ (be specific)- it looks to me like you've been leading him on by not saying anything; that's why he dosen't see anything wrong; you've never stopped him- men don't read minds, hon- speak up!