what would you do if after 2 years of marriage your husband suddenly tells you that he is bysexual?....
And not only that... but he shows some kind of interest in a male co-worker...
I asked him if he wanted to divorce me, he said "no". We have a daughter and I think that's the only reason why he won't divorce me...
I honestly... don't know what to do...
Please, I need some advise!
Thank you so much.
2007-01-07 12:59:18 · 27 answers · asked by Feed the models! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People are so quick on the divorce papers....Geez!
You two have got to sit down and talk. I mean TALK! No holding back, no wishy washy statements. Don't be shy, and don't be ashamed. This is your marriage on the line and the dynamic has just changed. What he said can't be taken back and can not be forgotten.
Just because he is Bi does not mean he can not be faithful. I myself am Bi and I would NEVER cheat on my husband. I swore I would be faithful to him, and him ALONE. I've gone through enough in my life to know that the grass is not greener on the other side. All being Bi means is that I look at both male and female equally concerning sexual attractiveness.
Cheating is wrong, with the opposite sex or with the same sex. It should not be tolerated nor accepted. Make your thoughts clear w/ your husband. If he can not swear fidelity to you and you alone (and you are not okay with that) then look into divorce. Only because it is now a trust issue and not a sex issue.
2007-01-07 13:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ask yourself this, are you willing to share your husband with someone else, whether it be a man or woman ? He has been bisexual since before you were married, he is just now telling you about it. He may have been sleeping around the whole time (with both) get yourself tested (stds). So what if you have a daughter together, are you happy with him knowing what you know ? Look at the bigger picture, can you deal with this 20+ years down the line, if not, don't subject yourself or your child to this. Divorce him. Don't deny him his paternal rights to his child, because regardless of his sexual orientation, he is still her father. So once you arrive at the answers to the above questions, then you will do what you know is right.
2007-01-07 13:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly feel that the only reason why your husband is with you is because of your child, then he doesn't really love you and this relationship is not fair on any of you.
Just because he is bisexual does not give him the ok to go ahead and explore, that is not only arrogant and selfish, on top of a way of cheating, but is very disrespectful to you as a person and as a wife.
You need to do what is right for you and your child, being in a relationship just for the child's sake is not ok and sooner or later, the child will see that.
I don't know you nor your family, but it sounds to me that you're better off getting a divorce and finding yourself a real man who will love you and your child regardless.
2007-01-07 13:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by !?! 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
what? ya he's whack! so what's he asking of you then? Permission to screw his co-worker? Why did he tell you this? and why doesn't he want a divorce? Oh gosh your poor child. Ya you know it's better to let the BIRD SPREAD HIS WINGS. And you and your child as well. You needs some time apart. Maybe a divorce isn't such a bad idea.
2007-01-07 13:09:14 · answer #4 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that I would have him followed and checked on. If you are able to prove that he was unfaithful then DROP him like a rock. I might do so anyway, but it certainly would give you more of a chance of collecting Child Support and that may be very important. HE certainly doesn't deserve YOU! No matter what, Make up your own mind what you want to do then go thru with it. Have a great week.
Eds
2007-01-07 13:30:41 · answer #5 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God don't like ugly. Too bad if he doesn't want a divorce. You deserve him and him in whole. Sharing him with a guy is no different than sharing him with another woman. Get counseling and join a support group if you need to, but I don't think it's going to be good for your daughter to grow up in the midst of turmoil between you and her father. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 13:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by subar62 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want "it" when it has been dipped in with someone elses tool? Move away and start anew. You can do so much better then some maid taking care of a adulator's kids.
2016-05-23 06:25:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt have ASKED if he wanted a divorce I would have filed because male or female I do not share my life partner.
2007-01-07 14:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest some counseling. You can be bi and still faithful in a marriage...but if he doesn't want to be faithful, I couldn't stay married to him. I think you owe it to your daughter to make an effort to get counseling and try to establish where he stands on your relationship...but don't stay just for her. She will be better off with a single mom than she would in a house with an bad marriage....Good luck to you...
2007-01-07 13:26:49 · answer #9 · answered by Bek 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my GOD!!! You people!!!
"Divorce the bastard" - "Have him followed" - "Make his life miserable" - "PROSTITUTE YOURSELF FOR HIM"??????
WTF is up with people these days.
What happened to COMMUNOICATION and commitment to one another - "for better or for worse"?
Do you love him? If not - first of all - START loving him! That was what you promised - and so did he!
Second - START TALKING - COMMUNICATING - find out who he is - and let him get to know you - the REAL you - tell him how you feel - or rather - talk FIRST - then find out how you feel - then tell him.
Here's a thought - maybe you should embrace his identity and desires...
If you "go with him" when he wants to explore this side of himself, maybe you'll find a whole new dimension of love and commitment - and sexual excitement...
Imagine having 2 bisexual men that not only are able to express THAT side of themselves - but are equally interested in PLEASING YOU - and catering to YOUR needs in bed...
My woman and I on occasion enjoy including others in our sexual activities, and we recently had our first "single guy" 3-some, and I tell you, it was fantastic!
I am not bi or gay - but just being part of that, and seeing her being had by another guy was extremely arousing - and because we had taken the time to get to know the guy, we KNEW he was a considerate lover - and she had an extremely enjoyable and pleasurable time - it is definately going to be done again - with him - and in the future, with a few other men we have been chatting with - one or two of whom would not mind doing a little "experiementing" with what it might feel like to touch another guy's privates - something I have been curious about since boyhood, but have never been free enough in any relationship to express or ask for...
Now there is a twist... Maybe he is SO comfortable, and feels SO much trust in you, that this perhaps long-standing desire is finally able to come out - because he believes in you and your love for him - maybe for the first time in his life?
Divorce him? Not just like that - talk about it - Kunkee is absolutely correct here - make good on your commitments to one another, and find out how you can live with his desires. Who knows - maybe after he has had an experience, he'll discover it was just a curiosity he needed to explore.
If not - there are lots of really nice people in the lifestyle - and you shouldn't knowck it until you have tried it - it surely is something that has drawn ALL our lifestyle friends MUCH closer to one another - when you are secure enough to share - you are truly secure - and the bonus is:
You never have to worry about cheating, because if there is anyone you or he just HAVE to have sex with - you can simply say it out loud that you want to bring him or her or them home with you, and all involved will have a great night...
2007-01-07 20:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋