How do I get courage to sign the papers?

Question

I filed the papers for a divorce, but I have not signed them. The attorney calls, but I'm scared to put my name on the dotted line. I never been through this & I'm scared. I know when I sign, I will have to leave home. 3 children 19,16,14. I guess I'm afraid of the kids reaction. My marriage has not been a marriage in 10 years. Never a meal and waiting on the check. Filthy house unless I do it. I must say I work 60+ hours a week. No intimaticy at all. How do I get myself up to sign and walk out. Papers been ready 3 months ?

Answer 1

here is the thing, if all you have done is work and your house is bad and you have had no intimacy how do you expect to be so super-human that you can just sign the papers and puff your chest out and walk? i think you are so beaten down mentally that you are scared to death to turn in the forward direction. i applaud you for calling the lawyer, no sign the papers and work on your self esteem and what you really want from life. your children are older you have had the chance to show them what kind of parent you are and they have seen what kind of marriage you have and it is not healthy. please see that you are worth good things you are a good person and you deserve love. i pray someday you are blessed with it all and i am sorry you were so lonely for so long. just believe and anything is possible~

Answer 2

divorce hurts the kids more than it will you two. Have you done everything possible to save the relationship? Have you been to a good marriage counselor? You two obviously seen something good in each other or you wouldn't have got married in the first place. It is all fixable if both people are willing. Even though there are no feelings for each other and it may seem that it is useless, that is not true. All those feelings can come back but it takes both people willing to admit their shortcomings and forgive one another. Don't throw the marriage away until you have exhausted every avenue possible to restore the relationship. I've done lots of counseling with people who have had issues of rejection and anger etc, which all started when their parents got divorced many years earlier. Couples usually cant resolve their issues on their own, simply because they don't know how. Get with a good counselor that helps couples for a living. Believe me, it is all fixable if both are willing. If for no other reason, your children are a good enough reason to keep trying. Hope this helps. :)

Answer 3

I think you need to get a new perspective on your position. Try this:

A marriage does not begin at the wedding.

A wedding is a celebration of a mutual commitment and respect that already exists. If you don't bring that commitment to the alter, you don't leave with it.

A divorce is not the end of the marriage. It's the recognition that the real marriage, the mutual commitment- has ended at sometime in the past, and an agreement to settle the differences so that life can move forward again.

The mutual commitment is the essence of a marriage; the legal status is a shell that has nothing to do with success or failure of it. Sustaining the shell after the fact only serves to perpetuate a miserable illusion.

Now- ask yourself if you are still married. If not- go about the business of cleaning up the legalities and moving on.

You have a new life ahead of you, and it will get better once you begin it.

Answer 4

Just remember what you life has been like in the past 10 years. Remember the hard times you have had to go through. Just keep thinking how much better everything will and how happier you will be when you sign those papers are signed. As for your kids, simpley explain to them how its been on you and that you feel you will be happier after the divorce. And you don't have to leave them. Visit them all the time. Including weekends or even let them come to your house after school and then there father can pick them up.Unless they live with you, Then it still works out. My parents are divorced and I go one week with my mom and one with my dad. My sister and I are perfectly happy And in fact we are happier then when they were together. Now my parents are friends and get along great because they have us.

Answer 5

So basically your wife didn't work at all and didn't contribute to the house cleaning. Wow your wife is a regular PIMP!
You never talked to her about this? you just said one day I can't stand coming home after 60 hours and CLEANING THE HOUSE...I know a lot of women who do that already and I don't see them wanting a divorce....It's to bad divorce is a difficult thing, but your kids aren't that young. If the marriage is as bad as you say it is. I have a feeling it wont come as a Shock to them. You really should talk to them NOW! It sucks to be the last to know!

Answer 6

If it is that miserable, then I am sure your kids will understand. You have already committed to this by drawing the papers up. You should find that confidence again and follow through. We are all nervous about the unknown, but if you look at it as a new lease on life, you will make it! Good luck!

Answer 7

3 months trying to sign the divorce paper? Maybe deep down in side you still love her, and want to work things out. Maybe you two should go for counseling.

I wish you the best of luck~~

Answer 8

My ideas and prayers are with you, yet once you enable a sort to electrify you like this maybe you like some scientific care.all of us make judgements that we comprehend are each and every so often incorrect. Any company can prosper or fail. It relies upon on the attempt positioned into it. in my view i had a foul streak the place i incurred losses of over $a hundred,000 in 4 yrs. rather of starting to be the placement insufferable i desperate to alter my company and now issues are plenty extra perfect, even nevertheless it took me a entire of 10 yrs to locate my company "area of interest". carry in there and supply your husband some encouragement and wait and notice previously you do something you will particularly be apologetic approximately.

Answer 9

first of all you should have thought about it before you filed the papers and second you should have talked with your mate cause a marriage should be 50 /50 and let your mate know how you felt about how it was at home

Answer 10

Look at what you typed....you deserve better. The kids are old enough, and more than likely they already know there are problems. Good luck, it's going to be hard now, but soooo much better in the long run.