I was divorced Aug 30 of last year (after 13 yrs). She cheated on me and lead me on with the we can work it out crap for many months after we seperated. I am involved in what seems to be a long term relationship after a few short term ones. I still have fears of being used again... being hurt again. I have a great girl friend that understands my pains and fears... BUT I have these feelings that things are not as good as they seem to be... that without reason I have problems putting my trust into her etc. Am I ready for a long term relation again? or should I lead the life of a hermit womanizer again for a while?
2007-01-07 12:31:01 · 15 answers · asked by Lar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you know when you are truly ready. But here are some thoughts to consider 1.) have you put to rest the past?
2.) Are you excited about your future with this person. 3.) Have you evaluated the pros's and con's 4.) Have you spent time getting to know this person who they are and who they are not?
2007-01-07 12:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Roger W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me you're in a state of denial right now, and confused. What you need to do is really look inside yourself and see what you think is better for you.
If you can actually picture yourself without this girlfriend in your life and know that you can move forward with no problem, then maybe you're right by not feeling that it's right.
But if you seriously can't see your life without her and know that you'd be lost, then you need to truly let your ex-wife go and realize that not all women are the same.
Whatever you decide, womanizing is not the answer for anything, it just makes you more of a jerk and then you would more likely be used because that will be the attitude you'd be giving off.
2007-01-07 13:15:29 · answer #2 · answered by !?! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh chill out and calm down yeh getting crapped on after a long relationship is the pits but not the end of the world you have a friend, so just let things go and have some fun it does not have to be sireous yet, take some time for yourself and let the pain heal it will in time
2007-01-07 12:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by picture 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say I know where your comming from b/c I've been there done that except for marriage. But I use to live that hermit life too but then I woke up one morning and decided I'm not going to live this way anymore. And I think u shouldn't either. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 12:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Steph1490 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am less worried about you than I am your girlfriend. If I were her, I would tell her to get out now. Not all women are cheaters. How would you feel if she told you that she could not trust you because of something someone else did? That's not fair to her and she sounds like she deserves better.
My advice, stay away from women. It is people like you (and I mean men and women) who use their previous relationships as an excuse to hurt people. You are saying, I am not going to trust her (which I am sure hurts her) because SOMEONE ELSE WAS A *****. Let me know her email address so I can tell her and the rest of the world to steer clear of you until you get your head out of your butt.
2007-01-07 12:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by ssc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are seriously questioning whether or not you can trust her, your gut probably tells you, you can't. Trust your instincts! Don't give up and become a hermit womanizer (although it probably is fun and a heck of a lot easier), you can have a wonderful trusting relationship, and when it is right you will know that to! Trust your gut first!
2007-01-07 12:35:04 · answer #6 · answered by sfb_wolfpack_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"a hermit womanizer"....you can be a womanizer or a hermit, but not both. You need to work on you before you work on a relationship. You will never be able to trust before you resolve self confidence issues. You are currently not trusting others as well as your own judgement. It takes time....
2007-01-07 12:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im kinda where your at.Only you know if its to early.Just try taking it one day at a time.Dont consider your current relationship long term.Im still hurtn from my divorce but trying to move on.It is indeed a *****.Take some solo trips it helped me figure out being alone isnt so bad.Take care and Good Luck.
2007-01-07 12:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by P.Bunyun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
physically you're ready for a long term relationship, but mentally not yet. try to relax and enjoy your new friend. be yourself and learn from past experiences. remember life is too short. make the best of what you have and go with the flow! you'll be ok. :)
2007-01-07 12:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by SnoKitten37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if u care about his girl then you should give her a chance and trust her...she could actually be the ONE you never no....give her a chance if u really like her...just dont expect to much...then you should be fine! :] good luck
2007-01-07 12:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by laurena808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋