Pain in the butt hubby?

Question

It was my birthday on Saturday and my **** of a partner had not made much off an effort. He went shopping supposedly last week with our daughter to get my gift. Then when I went shopping for clothes he took them from me and said they could be for my birthday and he paid. So what had he down all day with my daughter, got a card and clothes for himself. Then he went out another day to get his car fixed and said he was getting more stuff. Later found out he went a detour and got new designer trousers for himself .Last day before my birthday with our daughter he stopped at each shop with her jumping in to the shops to get candles, paper etc with me hanging about outside. He told me later in the night that people were coming for my birthday and I asked did he have any food in for them he said no and I said you can't do that and he said its no big deal. I was pi**ed off. I always make a big effort for him. Not spoke for 3 days should I keep ignoring him, kill him or make no effort for his

I would just like to say that I am not spoiled it is my **** of a husband, I have communicated with him via txt,and my daughter has not noticed that we are not speaking. Also forgot to say why it has bothered me so much is that I have lost my mum and dad in the last 3 years and my mum always did this so he knows what it means to me I could care if he got me a bunch of flowers if he only had choose it himself and made an effort. Also my husband never had a birthday cake or party in his life until he came into my family at the age of 24years and if I forgot now he would act like a bigger **** than usual

Well thank you all. Just a little follow up before I go its 1.07am here and have work in the morning. I gave him a few options nothing out of the ordinary, I have let him know Im not happy. He is a **** and behaves like a kid and goes in a huff when you say something he doesnt like. I am very vocal though sometimes get sick of hearing my own voice. So at the moment not sure yet what Im going to do, though I know I wont kill him as I would have to clean it, cant slap him as he is sleeping and next year for MY BIG 40. I will take my daughter and myself to New York and leave him with the Chinese Take Away menu. That is if in the year I have not paid Mr Friendly the Divorce Lawyer a visit

Last bit. I am not a princess I am not spoiled I would like any gift. I probably never explained enough.He is the one that stormed out when I said that you cant have people down and no food, he is the one that went to bed and never spoke he does this often goes in huffs and I would love to speak to him, often try and asked him if there is anything wrong with him he can speak tp me at anytime. So to set things right. I say something he doesnt like it storms away and doesnt speak. So for once I have decided not to talk and just go with it. Maybe there are flaws here though this has happend once to often and its had to judge someone on a few 100 words. As my mum used to say if you want to know me come and live with me.

Answer 1

I'm sorry this is happening to you. My heart goes out to you. Has he always behaved this way? I am divorced now, he sounds like my ex. He doesn't get it. Will never get it. He's inconsiderate, selfish, and sounds like a drain. As well as a child, What do you want to do? Life is short, it will improve, you have to make it happen. please respond

Answer 2

Im sorry about your pain with your family and all . But to be honest i think your being a bit to rough on him. Not all men think things through down to the last detail when having a party. his heart was in the right place by having a party for you. Sure it would have been nice for him to think of the food also. but the main thing here is he didnt' forget your big day. not only did he offer to pay for all the clothes you bought probably cause again he didn't know what you would like if he bought it himself so he let you go out and pick out what you like then offered to say this will be part of your birthday present.

You know some men forget the whole entire birthday thing i have read many complaints of women saying there husbands treat it like another day and they feel hurt your ahead of the bunch. So i would stop being mad at him and infact apologize to him for your behaviour and inform him i thought it was a lovely jesture you making me a party and buying me all these things i picked out . and then say maybe in thefuture sweetie when we have a suprise party you can add this or that to the food list.

I think your getting to worked up over this. Keep in mind the main thing is he is trying and he wants to show you. just that he can't do everything like we women think of when making a party.

we'd be the same way if the man asked us to fix the car you know we don't know all these typese of things other than a car wash to make it look sparkly and pretty. so go lighter on him.

I think if you look back on this and really see where his heart was you'll understand your getitng upset for the wrong reasons

Answer 3

I don't agree with him buying stuff for himself when he's supposed to be buying things for you. I know it's a hard time for you too. But many women don't have all the special treatment on their birthdays, I know a heap that has no effort at all. You should count yourself lucky that he did buy you stuff and he did make an effort even though it was at the last minute. Men are cluelees when it comes to ideas for birthdays, tha'ts a fact, unless they are gay! You are texting him about this too and not actually talking about it. It is nice to get a thoughtful gft, but very hard to find the rare men that do it.

Answer 4

You know, in reading a lot of people's answers, some other women said what they wished their husbands did for them on their birthdays. I was wondering if you ever told your husband what you wanted for your birthday?

If you didn't, it's not too late to celebrate! Tell him what you want, make a list and give it to him. Make a list of what you want him to do, what things you want him to buy you and what you'd like for dinner and where you want to go.

Men don't think about these sentimental things, I have to say though it was pretty selfish and completely irresponsible for him to buy himself things when he was supposedly out to buy you things.

Let this pass for the last time. Tell him that this is the last time he's doing this and give him your birthday list.

Men are such dorks, my husband I married exactly a month before my birthday...kinda makes it simple for him, but who knows, he's been good so far. Plus, I am super vocal about anniversaries or birthdays and things like that...

Just do it! Stop being mad and make your husband do what you want, he owes you and HE KNOWS IT.

I bet you he won't put up a fight when you approach him with what you want.

Tell us what happens please!

Answer 5

What is it with Husbands and remembering our birthdays. I did not get anything, until I threw a temper tantrum and then he took the kids out and got me a few gifts. No card, No dinner, No coffee in bed. Nothing - Next year I have it all planned out. The day after my birthday, if there is nothing I am taking the whole day to myself morning to night to do whatever I want.....Spa, Clothes shopping, Dinner, Manicure, Pedicures.....Whatever......Then I will come home and get into bed with my new pajamas, hair do, nails and whatever else and turn away. Happy Birthday to you sweetie!!!! I guess we should start our own "Un-Birthday Party". Oh but wait, if there was a party that we panned they would want to go.....

Answer 6

I think he is taking you too much for granted. You want to make him anxious to please you! Scared to get it wrong! Happy to make you happy!

Start going out without him. Tell him you are going to the supermarket to buy food and come back with no food at all but La Senza underwear - which you do NOT let him see, either on you or in the box. Tell him you have sent the kids to a babysitter and cooked a wonderful meal for the two of you and at the last minute, inform him that actually there are several other people coming too, but 'Hey,It's no big deal!'

Have fun getting your revenge on him - but know when to stop!

Answer 7

Well don't kill him that will only cause you even more problems!!! LOL!!! You could also talk (or write a letter or send an email -sometimes they need things written down to return to as a reminder) with him and let him know that it bothered you and why. Maybe he does not know since Silence only tells him you are PO'd. It does not give him the details of why you wanted him to put more of an effort into your b-day or even ideas as to how?

Answer 8

I've seen this happen a lot before. Most men can never be trusted to plan parties or get gift for birthdays. For five years I've seen a husband never get his wife a present or even try, so be happy. Finally the wife went out and bought a really expensive watch with diamonds. You'll get use to it. Other people will remember your birthday, but never count on your husband.

Answer 9

Hand him a card with some money in it and tell him to go buy himself something because he obviously likes to shop for himself. Then forget about it. I know some guys are clueless about gift-giving--I have one of those, too--and it takes all of the joy out of birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day and any other gift day. If he asks you why you forgot his big day, tell him you just took your cue from how he handled yours and you just figured that's the way he prefers it. Let him stew.

Answer 10

The fact that you can call your husband the stuff you have called him should probably be a sign that you guys need some SERIOUS help...marriage counseling is always a good thing, problems or not. And might I add that this whole not talking thing is EXTREMELY childish...grow up...you're married and you have a daughter. It's really no big deal and you're blowing it way out of proportion...cool off and move on with your life...jeez

Answer 11

I don't wanna sound mean, but I didn't even get a crad off my bf, he got me my present on my birthday, (only the 1) so I spent most of the day by myself. I would love it if I got clothes and then he went oh I'll pay for them, but I'm not that lucky. I also had to spend all my b'day money and xmas money,off my friends and family, on my food shopping and other peoples xmas gifts. My birthday is in December. So I wouldn't complain, alot of women don't get much, I do go to effort for him, but I don't think men treat birthdays as that special a day. Hey and at least he took your daughter out for a bit so you could have time to your self, wanna swap? lol. I bet this will sound really nasty to you, I hope not, but seriously wanna swap! I don't think you should not speak to him though, at least he bought you tons of stuff! even though you were with him when he bought it.

See I got a thumbs down, I have even worse birthdays and people are giving me a thumbs down! dear me. I had to spend all my money on other people too!!