I find it really hard to start dating again, for lack of trust.
2007-01-07 11:12:40 · 20 answers · asked by Smoothsexysista 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to give yourself at least a year to process the trauma that you went through. People don't understand that the end of a marriage causes a grieving process from the loss. You have lost not only a husband, but the role of being a wife, and realizing that all the dreams that you had of growing old with this man are gone. Give yourself time to process all these emotions. Go out with your friends and if you can go to a therapist. You need to recognize what it is you want in a new relationship so that don't potentially repeat the same mistakes as last time. If you just into a new relationship to soon you are going to have problems because of anger and resentments that you have carried over from the previous one. I wish you luck and the greatest gift that you can give yourself now is time to be by yourself. I suggest that you purchase the book< "In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant. This is an excellent book for a woman in your position, I know it helped me a lot. I hope this helps and I understand what you are going through because I have been where you have been. God bless.
2007-01-07 11:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a big issue in many relationships and unfortunately many people in society don't trust others. We have all been burnt before by someone who is supposed to love us. Take your time, go through the grieving process. There are some good books that will help you build confidence and to regain some of the trust that was stolen. Its a bit like something has been taken from you.
A book that helped me get through my divorce and other issues was called The Power is within you by Louise L. Hay.
It is worth reading.
Best of luck
2007-01-07 11:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's hard to start dating again, then you're not ready. Trust will come in time as your divorce wounds heal, and you can start to trust your instincts again.
For now, just do things for yourself. Go out and have fun on your own or with friends.
Also, read some of the Sweet Potato Queen books, they are really funny and great for us women who are living "post-divorce" lives.
2007-01-07 11:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by Your Highness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, well, your divorce couldn't have been even close to mine, and I was ready to find a new guy before the papers were even filed....Don't worry about learning to trust -- you won't for a while, but you need to have something nice to anticipate.... and internet dating can be just lovely.... a few nut cases, of course. Found the guy I am with now there -- bright, sweet, educated, lovely, and I adore him. There are some tricks -- write if you're interested....
2007-01-07 11:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you are saying. The best way to heal from a really bad divorce is to do it one day at a time. Remember not to punish your future because of your past. Keep your eyes and ears open, and do not be afraid to love again!
2007-01-07 11:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to church and develop a relationship with God and try taking care of you until you can trust. Buy yourself diamonds and take a cruise. Become very self indulgent and by the time you are ready you will have spoiled yourself to the point you will not accept anything less than prince Charming on a white horse begging, pleading and showing his worthiness of you.
2007-01-07 11:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So don't start dating. Take some time to get to know YOU all over again. Just because you're divorced doesn't mean you HAVE to find another man. Enjoy being on your own, being your own person.
2007-01-07 11:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man is the same.. Don't let one man stop you from trying again. Trust him til he gives you a reason like the trust you had for #1.. Good luck..
2007-01-07 11:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by ksk_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time and focus your energy on the hobbies and interest that you enjoy most. Look for ways to offer emotional support others who may be going through the exact thing you just came from.
2007-01-07 11:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by curiousJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow (One day at a time). That helped me get over my really bad divorce. Best of luck!
2007-01-07 11:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by hexadecadiene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋