I've been seeing a guy for almost 2 years now, and there are times that we get very intimate with each other, but yet he won't make love to me, even thou we love each other very much.. why? what would be his reasons for this? I know that I turn him on, he says I'm beautiful but yet he gets me all hot and bothered but wont make love to me.. I don't understand this at all.
2007-01-07 11:08:57 · 24 answers · asked by Spirit 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have made love many times, but there are times that he just gets me all hot, and then won't make love to me. and doesnt think anything of it, and if I ask him why he won't, he gets upset. why? Its not like we havent had beautiful love before..
2007-01-07 11:16:30 · update #1
I know the answer to this and it's VERY simple.
Men are 100% humiliated to say that they can't have sex because they have a problem getting an erection. He may have an erection but not hard enough.
For there to be sex, a man has to have an erection...if he doesn't feel "up" to it, he'll be humiliated that he can't please you, adding to that that he can't have sex and adding to that you'll think he has a problem and that he's less of a man because of it. Rather than talking about it, like we women do...men get mad because it's a defence mechanism to get you to back off the subject. He could also be very frustrated as well because he can't do anything about it and that's upsetting to a man that he can't do something to get his release and for you too.
You can suggest for him to touch you to help you get your release. If he doens't feel comfortable doing that, don't force him. Let him act it out for himself.
It really could be that simple.
He's probably not impotent, but men go through periods where they just don't get hard enough and it's not because of you, it just happens. He could be really tired, stressed out, or whatever that's affecting his "stuff".
2007-01-07 11:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did say "not be able" so is he stressed @ work? family problems/concerns? How old is he? maybe he has become impotent and does not want to admit this because he is embarrassed. The older he is the more this may be likely but younger guys expereince it too. does not sound like he won't make love to you @ all just every now and then right? So @ this point after waiting 2 years to bring it up you could steer the conversation to your concern about his health and go from there. Do not do this right after he has turned you away and try to not be angry. matter of fact the best place may be an intimate dinner out (some place where you can sit closeley and talk quietly. You don't want him to be further embarrasessed. Plus you can always work out your frustration on your own and that would be another category to look into here.....meanwhile are you both agreeing to monogamy (seeing and sleeping only with each other?)....
2007-01-07 12:14:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has a problem with impotence (which is really normal for a man to go through) and is too embarrased to tell you?
Talk about it with him in a non confrontational way. Open communication, both in and out of the bedroom, is the key to a successful relationship!
2007-01-07 11:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kate A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd have had a long talk with him way before now. Two years and you haven't talked about it yet?
Communication is a huge part of any relationship - talk to the man!
2007-01-07 11:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe is converting into a spiritualist or Christian. Sex may not be is objective any more and maybe he is looking for a deeper more intimate relationship. Either that or he may have health issues.
2007-01-07 11:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love and sex do not always equal one another. YOU are equating sex with love, I doubt very much that you actually love this guy since you don't know the difference between the two.
2007-01-07 11:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with saving himself for marriage -
but if you're very intimate with each other - really - talk to him about it - or are you the one not willing to commit before sex?
Ask him!
2007-01-07 11:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by birdwatcher 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk with him. Men can be complicated little boys at times, even more so when we are not talking with them. Communication is the key. No one but him can truly let you in on what is happening.
2007-01-07 11:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by J T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first ask him, but I bet he CAN NOT do it at all when you ask hm, it stays soft and he gets ashamed
that's why, me.. you 100 times a day would not be enough
but maybe he has a medical condition
ask him now
2007-01-07 12:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey its overrrrrrrrrrr cant you take a hint yes i can treat men nice but if I dont care for them ill be dam if i will make love to them an one last thing to remeber you can love someone but not be in love so go figure your self is he IN love with you or is he just loving you I can love mi old dog????
2007-01-07 11:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by D S 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋