My 4 yr old son is convinced he lives with my parents. Unfortunately before I realized it was becoming a problem I let him stay with them as much as he wanted. They have spoiled him and he has as many if not more belongings there as here. Its starting to become a problem for me because he won't come home. When he is here he is only happy if someone is giving him attention or involving him in an activity. If not he says "I want to go to Granny's". He doesn't get any more attention there than here, in fact he gets LESS attention there. I am at my wits end. My son belongs here with me and not with my parents. I have tried telling him that I love him more than any one else in the world will ever be able to, and he says "thank you but I don't love you" It hurts so bad. My son is very well treated and loved and when you ask him what granny has that I don't he comes up with answers that don't make sense. Someone PLEASE help. I can't be the only one to ever go through this.
2007-01-07 10:49:31 · 11 answers · asked by Amy H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, i am sure this situation hurts intensely right now, but I think you can see that it is a problem that will eventually fade away. sooner or later he will come to understand that his home is with you. in fact, if he says that he wants to go to Granny's, and not that he wants to go "home", then I suspect that he does really understand already. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you are competing a bit too intensely with your parents for your child's affection. He might be pushing you away because he feels that you are trying to make him accept you instead of his grandparents. can't he have the love of both?
2007-01-07 10:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by niko 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there too! I had moved back to my parents home while going through a divorce and being pregnant. I stayed with my parents while I went to a tech. school (so that I could better my situation for my son)...Long story short we moved to our own apt. when he was nearly 2 yrs. old and he didn't like it there! I would still let him spend way too much time at my mom's. He never wanted to come home, and it saddened me. At age 4 he was just like that and I was so heartbroken. My mom didn't help the situation either! But I just stuck to my guns and was determined to regain control of the situation. I limited his time and frequency of going to my mother's house more and more until it was only a weekend or two out of the month and sometimes even less. Now he is 7 and you would never know that's how he once felt.
Best of luck to you!
2007-01-07 11:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have any parenting experience, but i think you should just try 2 lay down the law a little. And maybe take a little time off from going to "granny's" until he learns that he belongs at home with you.
2007-01-07 10:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is just a stage and he will outgrow it soon as school starts.
granny is probably spoiling him more or feedin him lots of icecream.
dont get discourage, just tell him u love him and he can go to grannys soon.
dont let this get u down, this is all temporary and normal
2007-01-07 10:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep him away from there place until he starts acting normal. I would remind him like 5-10 a day until he gets it through his head that he lives with you and you are his mom
2007-01-07 10:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Monet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his mother. You're the boss.
Don't let him go over there any more, and bring his things back home to your house.
If he says he doesn't love you, he doesn't mean it. A 4-year-old doesn't really understand what love means.
2007-01-07 10:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Iris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be on a regular schedule of going over there, not at his whim. They spoiled him and he's just looking for "stuff" and you now have to break that cycle.
2007-01-07 10:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't speak of a father. Your son seeks stability and if you leave him at his granparents so often you obviously have little of that.
Just don't take him there anymore.
2007-01-07 10:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by Lord Laughalot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they probly said things to him just let him know hes loved
2007-01-07 10:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the lord giveth and the lord taketh away
2007-01-07 10:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋