Social phobia?

Question

my boyfriend, who on the outset would be described as outgoing, funny and sociable has recently confided in me that social situations fill him with dread to the point that he lies awake at night worrying about the prospect of meeting people. This came as a shock to me as he is not a shy, retiring kind of person. For example he told me that even meeting up with my family (who love him and he has met many times) fills him with dread, he worries about what he will say, how he comes accross, what they will think of him etc to the point that he is physically shaking at the prospect. It iosnt just my family, but he told me its all social situations that involve people. He wont seek advice, and my guess was that it was just anxiety that is feeding of itself, but I dont know what to say to him. Does anyone else suffer from this or have any advice?

his mum suffered from agrophobia, could this be genetic in some way?

Thankyou from Dyslexic.. my boyfriend has described himself as feeling inferior to others so thankyou for your insight on this subject

Answer 1

Hi, up on till recently I felt the same way, social phobia is not like any other, in that you can not control the situation, I am speaking from existence and not education. I helped mine by firstly getting an understanding as to why I generally felt inferior to others. Essentially I feel the abuse I got from insecure teachers who were unable to teach me due to my dyslexia, had to blame someone, and it was easier to take it out on a child than face the the truth, that they were not capable. In hind site this was a small thing tucked away in my memories that I hardily thought about until I read about it in a book.
If you can find this it may be a solution, professional help may work or just try chatting, I feel if he has spoke to you about it, he may be wanting your help.
good look

Answer 2

Social Anxiety Disorder - aka - Social Phobia is an intense chronic fear of being judged by others and potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by their actions when faced with all kinds of social settings. It could be "specific" (to one kind of setting) or "generalised". Physical Symptons include; sweating, blushing, trembling, nausea, stammering and occasionally panic attacks.

There are ways of treating this disorder including, psychotherapy or medication or both. Past research has shown that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been sucessful in treating the disorder.

It has a high degree of comorbidy, so it occurs alongside other mental health disorders, more commonly; low self-esteem and clinical depression, by products of the lack of exposure to social settings. It has been found that, a lot of sufferers have alcohol addictions alongside it.

It sounds very much like Social Anxiety Disorder (or Social Phobia) Use this as information only- not a diagnosis (im not a practising Clinical Psychologist yet)

Go to GPs and get a referal to get a diagnosis ASAP, as it must be incredibly uncomfortable for him. There are therapies out there to help him. Be as supportive as he needs you to be and as supportive as you can be. He's lucky, you seem very caring.

Good Luck... Hope all goes well in the future

Answer 3

What he's doing is giving things far too much thought. Like you say, he's worrying about how he comes across. He's worrying about things that haven't happened yet. What he needs to do is not worry as much. Sounds obvious and easy, but I know it's not that easy!

I would strongly recommend hypnotherapy. It could be that something happened in the past and now he dwells too much on what might happen through fear. Hypnotherapy will help him understand where these fears stem from and how to deal with them.

He could benefit as well from acupuncture and acupressure. This could really help calm his body down.

My advice to you would be to go along to your local alternative therapy centre. You'll be able to find your local one in a business directory or from google. Go along and see what they offer. They'll have things like hypnotherapy and acupuncture. They'll have leaflets on who practices there, what each individual therapist offers and prices. Then talk through the options with your boyfriend.

I hope all goes well

Answer 4

Again suggest to him to go get medical help and proper diagnosis from a licensed doctor. Perhaps he is fearful of using the phone too. Suggest that you could call and make an appointment for him and maybe go with him to his appointment if he wants social support.

If he refuses then he probably just wants someone to listen to him.
Just listen then and he will seek help when he is ready and able to...
if you get tired of listening to him, let him know that you've offered him help and solutions and you do not know what else he wants you to do for him. If he keeps on complaining ignore him.

Answer 5

Maybe he likes being alone or just with a couple people sometimes, he should't have to fake like he's an outgoing person, if he's an introverted person let him be that. Not everyone is social and outgoing.

Answer 6

it is u he's not talking about~guys don't really like having to be confronted with their girls with them and don't like it when there not with them, the situation is a liability to guy to have third parties involved to the point that it is seedy or in your face stuff all the time when you take your girl out, there is the deal probably, after a guy gets a girl Friend it never seems to be a privet enough to stop the out side world

Answer 7

Sounds like an anxiety problem. Send him to the GP, there's no point in him struggling further with it. Short-term fix will be some SSRI's, longer-term will be for him to understand where it came from. He'll be fine.

Answer 8

The answer could be 10 Mg's of Vallium.

Answer 9

He's an agoraphobic.
He has agoraphobia which is a fear of social interactions.

Answer 10

me. i can make friends easily its girls that you talk to but havent met yet and you have to meet them and ya