My son is 17 and he locked him in the closet and I found out from my son that he hit him too but I confronted my husband and he said 'What's different between that and and a time-out?' But everyone here said it was abuse.... What to do?
2007-01-07 10:35:40 · 41 answers · asked by Umm Me 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would ask the Teen for the story again[unless someone witnessed it]if the story is the same then yes,go to the nearest domestic violence hot line and get some good advice on how to pursue this.The worst thing to do is stir it up,then leave your son to deal with him alone,again.If this really happened,I would bet it is not the first time they have come to blows or had serious problems.In the least your hubby is being very devious for not coming to You about their problems and the situations so you all can seek help and/or a plan if tempers rage again.Please do not make your son stay where he is abused and or resented.He is likely to act out on others.Good Luck
2007-01-08 03:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by lisa m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You don't need to leave him, unless he's had abusive relations with you and/or your son before.
Here's what should have happend....
Your son and husband got into a fight, and they're both men...so there was some testosterone flowing, and they started in with the hitting. Your husband stopped the fight by locking your son in the closet so that it wouldn't go any further, because it was the only thing that he could think of at the time. He should have called the police for assistance, because he couldn't handle him without having to physically restrain him. Then, the police could have advised him right then and there as to whether he should leave his son out before they got there and what the proper handling should be. That's what you do when you have a domestic dispute...you call the police.
Tell your husband that the next time your son acts up like that he should kick him out until the son decides to stop being violent. Tell him to go stay at a friend or relative's house, and that he'll even call them for the son, if he needs picked up, but that he can't come back until he calms down with the violence. If this doesn't work, then your husband should involve the police. Your son will probably not take his father's assistance with the phone call, but instead go walk off his anger to either the friend's house or the nearest payphone to call a friend to pick him up...or he'll contact you somehow. Your husband just needs to remember to play defense, not offense. You have an almost grown man that you can't just physically control in the same way that you would a little boy.
If this situation had happend with one of your son's friends...or even your husband's friends, rather than your son, what would your husband have done? He would have told them to get out and called the police, if that didn't work...had it been just some other male.
If he has a history of violence, then you should leave him.
If you're just looking for an excuse to leave him, then you should leave him, but don't use this fight as the excuse for leaving him.
If this really hasn't been an issue before, and you love him, then you should stay with him and just come up with a better game plan, and the two of you should figure out what caused the son to act out and what you can do to fix that...if it's possible.
Good Luck!!!!
2007-01-07 11:18:27 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him as soon as possible! If he locked your son in a closet and hit him you never know what he'd do to you. Plus if you don't leave him he can keep on hitting your child and maybe do something to you. Take your son to the doctors. Your husband could have hurt your son very severely. If I were you I'd go to the police and tell them about your husband. If he tries to hurt you if you leave him have a restraining against him. He'll never see you or your child again. If I were you i'd see BUH-BYE to your husband.
2007-01-07 11:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by alibrown08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Locking in a closet is a sick punishment and hitting anything but the butt is abuse and should not be talterated so tell you husband to spank not hit and no closet. if it does happen again them report your husband to child services and leasve him, also if there is a buirse take a picture you may did it in due time if you have to go to court
2007-01-07 10:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you even have to ask???!!! 1 it is child abuse, 2. in some states it is kid napping 3. Child endangerment 4. unlawful detainment, Im sure a good lawyer could come up with even more. BESIDES if you dont report it and your son does, you are an accessory to the fact.
2007-01-07 10:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gauging the appropriateness of the response requires knowing what he punished your son for... but if he's comparing that to a time-out, it sounds like he really went overboard. That kind of treatment doesn't work on kids that old, it's just a way to bully them.
Has your husband ever been violent (physically or emotionally) before? If this is something completely out of character for him, I'd probably stay put and figure out what is really going on, perhaps with counseling or a physical/mental evaluation by your hubby's doctor.
If this is an example of his usual behavior, I'd get my kids away from him immediately.
2007-01-07 10:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one should be locked up in a closet. I think it's more then just a time out. I would take my son, and leave. I do find this question hard to answer though, I don't know the entire story......did he lock him up because he was selling drugs ? Did he lock him up because he was doing something illegal ? Please be more informative with us. Good Luck ~~~
2007-01-07 10:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is 17? He's kind of old for a time out. If he hit your child you should consider leaving him.
2007-01-07 10:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by Lolita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is the teen his? What did he do? Time out for a 17yo?
I have seen some teens do things so bad some one need to punch them. Some times it is right to use force on kids to keep them from going to far down a dark path.
I have seen a 15yo girl hit her mother to the point the mom locks her self in her bedroom out of fear.
2007-01-07 10:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to ge the hole story and locking him in the closet no mater what was not right .. but you know hat or yyou wouldnt be here ...
i would kick my husband out if he did that if your sons 17 and was trying to start somehing with him he still couldve just hled the door shut to his room ... and let him yell .. or alked to you about what was going on before making a desicion.
hope that helps
2007-01-07 10:41:51 · answer #10 · answered by jessica b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋