okay, it was saturday night, he had a friend over, (by the way hid friend was a guy) it was like 1:30, i woke up to use the restroon, i walked passed his rooms and herad strange sounds, i slightly opened the door and looked in, i was shocked at what i saw! my 14 year old was having gay sex with his friend. he still doesn't know that i found out, but i didn't tell my parents, should I? I don't want to get him in trouble, but isn't it for his own good if they know, he needs help and i don't know what to do. please help me! thank you.
2007-01-07 10:34:12 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It's really not you or your parents business, but tell your brother what you saw and tell him you are confused about how you feel and that you don't think it's right for him to have sex (with a boy or girl)in your parents house.
2007-01-07 10:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by steffers4979 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
OK, I would talk to your brother, not your parents. All right, no, he shouldn't have been having sex (with a male or female of the species) in the house while your folks think he's having a sleepover. He's 14, not 24.
Also, why does he need 'help'? Because he might be gay or bi? I'm sorry, honey, but there's no help for that.
Sit him down, talk to him about the dangers of having unprotected sex, and tell him that if he has been having these feelings for a long time, he might need to talk to someone. Not to change what he is, but to get it out in the open. Make sure he knows you're there for him, and that this doesn't change the fact that he's your brother and you love him, no matter what.
2007-01-07 11:59:09 · answer #2 · answered by Paige D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel, if it was the same situation with a girl?
You shouldn't have been looking in his door. How would you feel, if he had done that to you? Since you did it, and you know, and it's troubling you about what you saw, this is what I'd do.....
Apologize for what you did, and tell him that it made you uncomfortable, but that you care for him, and you want to make sure that he used protection, because girl or guy...he still has to worry about STDs...not just getting someone pregnant. No, you shouldn't be telling on him. If you do decide to be a snitch anyway, then you should only say that he was having sex with someone in his room, and just leave the part out about it being a guy. It's up to him to tell your parents that he gay....if he even decides that....he may have just been experimenting....boys do that sometimes, but he probably does like guys, and he'll tell your parents when he's ready.
You could always just keep the whole thing to yourself, too. Whatever you decide to do, just remember that he's your brother, and you love him, and you should be tolerant of his choices. If you hadn't peeked in that door, you wouldn't have known any different, and thus it really has no affect on you whatsoever that he had sex with a guy. Well, I guess you could ask him to keep it down when he's having sex, because, if you can hear it, then your parents might hear it too.
So, if you really don't want to address the gay part, then you could just tell him that you overheard him having sex in his room, and that he might want to be more careful about that. At that time you could remind him about using a condom and all of that. Remember, you might be having sex in your room one day when he's passing by. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
2007-01-07 10:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is gay or just experimenting. Being Gay does not require help. It's not a medical condition that requires treatment. Although 14 is too young to be having sex with anyone in my opinion, I don't know what you want to accomplish by telling your parents. What I mean is that I think you are wanting to tell for the wrong reason.
2007-01-08 03:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll earn any points in the Big Sister popularity contest if you tell your folks. He will be hugely embarrassed and probably ridiculed for what is in some adolescents a natural outgrowth of their curiosity about sex and of the newly acquired awareness of their body's various functions. In some kids it happens sooner than in others but we are all wondering the same things at that age, even if you do not recall it going on with yourself.
I'd leave things alone. Boys experiment with same-sex sexuality. It does not necessarily mean anything. There is no way to tell your parents that will not be hurtful to your brother. If you feel that you must take it beyond here, why not take him aside and speak to him yourself? That would be more tactful.
2007-01-07 10:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
omg are you serisus?? There is nothing wrong with being gay. Although if you are religious, gay sex or not, pre meritial sex is a sin. Also he is 14..maybe thats a little soon to be having sex weather its with a guy or a girl. If you love your brother then let him choose for himself what people he is atracted to, its his life and if you love him and he loves you as well then the best thing in the world for him is to just feel suported. Its okay to be Gay and its okay if you dont agree with it yourself, but its not okay to say he has to have the same belives as you.
2007-01-07 12:45:00 · answer #6 · answered by Falling Leaves 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother what you saw first, then let him open up to your parents when he is ready. Im bisexual, and even though I have never had sex *gay or straight*, I can sort of understand, just a little, how he feels. Kind of traumatizing *sp?* unless he's ready to come out.
And to the first person who commented, let people live their own lives without shoving your beliefs down their throat
2007-01-07 11:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although this is a slightly suspicious question, ill treat it like the rest.
Although he is young he still has the right to some privacy. Really this is a hard situation, because sex is dangerous. It ruins lives, and he may not want everyone to know he's gay yet, but on the other hand he is at risk of STD's.
2007-01-07 10:46:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Its alright that he's gay, but sex at 14??? Talk to your brother before telling your parents
2007-01-07 19:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your brothers gay so what? You need to talk to him first before anything else. Ask him if he likes guys. If so, tell him you support him through it, and then tell him you'll help him tell your parents because they have a right to know as well as you do.
2007-01-07 14:15:17 · answer #10 · answered by renthead24/7 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋