My ex (my daughters father) and I have been broken up since Christmas 2005. He has a new gf who has two boys of her own and I am pregnant by my new partner...safe to say we have both moved on. However, when it comes to transporting my daughter for visits with him MY family seems to think they should be right in the middle of it all....they even go out of their way to give him, the NEW gf, and HER two boys rides to get groceries. I feel that this is wrong as he is my EX and she and he boys have NO ties to me OR my family whatsoever. Now, Am I being unfair in asking my family to NOT give them rides?
2007-01-07 10:33:35 · 21 answers · asked by Kitty Kat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They both have their own families why are they not calling them for rides? They both also have full time work why not take a taxi?
2007-01-07 10:38:39 · update #1
As far as the transportation of my child goes I AM fine with that... but this is MY family providing them with FREE rides!
2007-01-07 10:39:29 · update #2
My daughter is not even present when they are giving them these rides to go shopping or to work because they missed a bus or whatnot.
2007-01-07 10:42:05 · update #3
My ex has NO other children besides the one we have together and has made it very clear that he does NOT want to be considered even a step father to the new womans children.
2007-01-07 10:44:41 · update #4
I have expressed my feelings to my family members on several occassions only with negative feedback and the continued "lack of respect" (as I see it) in doing for them what THEIR OWN families should and could be!
2007-01-07 10:48:45 · update #5
What makes me upset about this I think the most is that my family didn't like doing those things for him while we were together for three years and now that we are not they do for him all the time.
2007-01-07 14:09:18 · update #6
no i don't think you're being unfair, afterall he is your ex and him and his new love and her kids are NOT part of your family. i completly understand where you're coming from, as i'm going thru something similiar with my ex-husband and his new girlfriend with my family.
2007-01-07 10:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Coming from a broken family, (don't think that is a term used anymore) I can say it is important that everyone get along. I think the most important thing, is everyone maintains respect in the relationships and that your daughter doesn't see any anger you might feel. If you can, try and remember, that even if your family does help, they still care for you. Your family probably think, that by helping them, it is helping you in the long run.
2007-01-07 18:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Corrine L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family is ignoring you and/or your daughter in order to help them out, then you need to speak with them about it. If they are just being kind, perhaps you need to be a bit more mature and understand that it's good they're trying to get along with your daughter's "other family". They sound like lovely, generous people. Life would be so much nicer if we could put away our petty jealousy for the sake of our kids and those around us.
2007-01-07 20:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think so... But that is only if they don't help you out at all... But think at it from their POV also... They are probably trying to keep a bit of a bond between all of you... And as for the new GF's boys... if you say that them living with her and your ex who has your daughter living together doesn't have any kind of ties... To me... your wrong... They are part of the group of people that are associating with your kid... Now I'd want to make sure that they are good kids first...
2007-01-07 18:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by Shadow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he was part of your family once and they probably liked him very much. He is still the father of your daughters so he is connected - if not legally then emotionally to your family.
Don't stop your family from giving them rides etc. It doesn't hurt you in any way that people get along, does it? Just be happy that you aren't in the middle of a nasty divorce where people can't be in the same room.
And congratulations on your baby :-)
2007-01-07 18:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by Great Dane 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful that your family wants to keep in touch with your child's father! Let them keep in touch. After all he is their granddaughters father! He will always be a part of your daughters life. I think your have a very mature family!Your ex's sons do have ties to your daughter, get along with the ex & his new lady for your daughters sake.
2007-01-07 18:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you only give rides or do anything just for family?
This isn't about you, it's about other people who just happen to be your family, and they can pick and choose who they want to do this with and for, same as you.
Obviously you want to be given carte blanche to reign over your family in this matter and have your tantrum if not given your way.
People can do whatever they want to for whomever they wish as long as what they do isn't illegal, and them doing this isn't. It takes nothing away from you. Your unhappiness (which is a mild word for it) in the matter is your doing, as you choose to attempt control over matters that don't realistically concern you. You're the one who is displaying a lack of respect here. Get over it and truly move on instead of pretending to.
2007-01-07 18:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your family does and the company they keep is their business. They should, however, take your feeling into account. But, in the end, why do you care? You say you ave moved on. If you have, this should not bother you. And it is good that your family wants to be involved in your daughters life in a pleasant manner.
2007-01-07 18:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by know_it_all_NOT 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's your ex, not theirs. I do admit, however, that I would not be too keen on that. Maybe a couple of years down the line it wouldn't bother me but 2005 is still a little too close. While they have the right to do what they want, I'd tell them how uncomfortable it makes me feel. Hopefull that doesn't open up a can of worms.
2007-01-07 18:38:30 · answer #9 · answered by Emerald Jones 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds weird! do you have issues with your family, maybe they are just trying to annoy you, do they like your new partner if not then thats why they do this to say no.2 will never have the place in the family as no.1 . let them run along get on with your life have your new baby and dont stress out if they are trying to annoy you purposley they have done but try not to let them see that. the happier they see you the more they will see their attempts fail
2007-01-07 18:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by alroka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when ex's have new lovers and those lovers have families that other people might connect with. You'd sound petty and insecure if you started telling your family who they could socialize with. If it bothers you so much, remind yourself that you're pregnant and maybe a little moody.
2007-01-07 18:37:25 · answer #11 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋