not a question just need to tell someone i dont know, how depressed im feeling?

Question

im 34 m with 4 lovely kids and i feel so depressed,i luv my family so much but i feel i let them down all the time,i work but earn little so we dont have a lot but my wife manages it with her usual smile.no car so i cant take them on little trips,wemanaged to get them presents 4 christmas,id hve hated myself if i didnt mange that,but as usual my wife got nothing from me,she derves better than that.as usual her family as well as my own took delight in showing her the wonderful gifts they had recieved from husbands wives etc,she never complained once just said how happy she was for them,how i wish she had never met me,i know it will never change as im not able to do any better im not well educated justvery average or skilled in anyway,not surewhy im writing this,just feel a need to tell someone,i know i should be grateful 4 what i have but when she gets her faced rubbed in it by ''family''i hate myself.

Answer 1

she must luv u but!!!!!! u could have got her a card

Answer 2

Stop being so hard on yourself. If your wife was unhappy she would have said something to you by now or she would have left you by now. You need to take the time and talk these things over with your wife. She will be more understanding then you think. Sometimes women don't care about all that material stuff. We just want to be loved. There is plenty things you can do without having a car. Depending on the area you live in, take her for a walk down the block in the afternoon, best time is after supper. If she says she has to wash the dinner dishes tell her let them sit and you will help her do the dishes when you'll get back from your walk. Send the kids to bed early sometimes and you and your wife sit down and watch a good sitcom together (that will make you laugh) or watch a good movie (nothing too emotional). Watching funny things on tv will help to lift your spirits. Stop thinking about negative things so much and learn to appreciate whats in front of you (a wife that doesn't complain). As for family rubbing her face in things, think about this for a second. Maybe, just maybe they are a little jealous of your wife because she doesn't let the fact of not having some of these material things bother her. Stop thinking about yourself so much. Step back and look at the people (your wife and kids) around you. Think about things and ways (without using money) to make them happy. Oh, I have a thought go to the nearest department store and buy a game called TWISTER and make it a family night of fun with this game. Hopefully your kids are old enough to join in.

Good luck and I hope I was able to help you.

Answer 3

If it is not bothering your wife why is it getting to you. You are not a failure. You have a job and are providing for your family the best you know how. What other people say and is their stuff, not yours and do not allow it to depress you, as well maybe go to your family doctor and discuss your depression, I know you keep thinking if things were a bit better I would feel better, and that is true, but you need to get help to sort your self out so that you can make plans and ideas to improve you life, Please believe you are doing well and with your wonderful wife and family to support you there is no limit to your joy, but do not ever believe that stuff is what makes people happy, because it doesn't. it is the knowledge that all is well in your world, and if you can look at it that way, you are already a winner. A lot of stuff and more do not make any one happy except the people selling this sort of dream, You are on the right track and well done

Answer 4

being happy is not about having lots of money!
and i am sure your wife and kids love you very much, and they probably don't have an issue in to how much you make.
well i would like to think that anyway as it shouldn't matter on whether you bring home £50 or £1000, yeah it would be great to be bringing home the second amount. but what people should always remember is it "DOESN'T BUY HAPPINESS"
and also its better to be out working for what you own than some people in the world, as a lot of them sit on there bahookies and get more money and help with things. than the hard honest workers do, who just manage to get by with their wages. its just not fair!

i think that you and your wife should tell your families not to be rubbing things in your faces. and remember them that Christmas is not about who has the best gifts.
its about sharing that time of year with the ones you love and cherish the most. and if they can't see that then i would say that they are most definitely NOT worth the bother. and i for one would rather spend Christmas on my own than be with a bunch of arrogant self obsessed gets.

maybe you should speak to your GP and let them know how low you are feeling just now. have you told your wife how you feel?

Answer 5

Hey, stop being so hard on yourself - you sound like a rare human gem!! :o) Life itself is difficult enough so try not to make things harder than truly need be.

Your wife obviously loves and appreciates what she has got with you and your kids. She also understands you work hard for your family. Life is about appreciating what you have got and making the most of it - family, health and stability. It's not about hankering after what you haven't got!

The way I look at things, (heaven forbid) if there was ever a house fire in my home, I would be making sure my family & pet dog were out of the house - the contents can burn - you can't replace life but you can eventually replace furniture belongings etc.

Besides, yes family consists of parents, siblings on either side but what REALLY matters the most is your immediate family, your wife and kids! My hubby and I have been together 18 yrs, married for 16 and have 3 kids - a majority of those Xmas' we have gone without exchanging pressies cos we are of the belief that Xmas is for the kids and adults can buy any time of year if afforded.

If you truly feel depressed, please see your GP and tell them how you are feeling. Also speak to your wife - she will understand and can only reassure you. Believe me, if your wife weren't happy, you'd know about it!

Please take care of yourself and see someone if need be eh?

Hugs to ya x x x x

Answer 6

Don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like your wife is very, very happy. Other people don't think about how there actions effect others, like showing off Christmas gifts to those less fortunate.

Money isn't everything. I don't get spoilt with lavish gifts or nights out, I have an average job. but have a partner who is my best friend and i can talk about anything with. Speak to your wife, it'll make you feel much better to share your problem. That's what families are for.

Take care.

Answer 7

i have been through depression and know how awful that can be, if u need to talk u can email me. what i will say to you for now though is that your wife is one of the few special people there are. she doesn't concentrate on material things but is happy with a loving husband and four wonderful children. she, unlike some others, appreciates the 'finer' things in life. i know it would be nice to treat her and i understand about you feeling that you can't do any better but you can. firstly you need to let your wife know how you feel, she will not see it as a burden but will be pleased that you are letting her in. then you must book a doctors appointment. with the doctor help and your wife's reassurance you will start to feel better. it takes time but it is worth it. then once you start to feel better you can set yourself some goals. have you ever thought about higher education. the colleges run some fantastic courses and alot of them are evenings which would still enable you to work. something like plumbing is excellent money. the doctor and your wife will help you to think positively. and lastly, look at your wonderful children. i would rather know that my daddy was happy inside than have presents or trips. good luck and don't forget you can always email, the same for your wife too.x

Answer 8

mate don`t be so hard on urself ok. u sound like a great guy and i can bet that is exactly how ur wife see`s u and so do ur kids. u have something special that not many others have and that is true love for ur wife and family. presents are nice but u just cannot beat togetherness. u don`t need a car to do stuff wiv ur kids. i once helped a family out. i spent time helping their kids, playing football wiv them, talking to them and letting them know they have someone to turn to. 15 years later they still remember me and talk about me. they moved away 15 years ago. i get fone calls from them, xmas cards, birthday cards. i`m proud of myself that they hold me in such high esteem. good memories are much better than gifts. i hope thats food for thought mate. bugger wot anyone else thinks, u got one hell of a nice family there :)

Answer 9

Dude believe me if youre wife really genuinely wasnt happy then she would leave , it seems that youre wife is one of those people who could care less for material things . She is content with what she has and that is a very special thing . Stop beating yourself up about what you could or should have and life youre life for now and what you do have . Public transport can get you and youre kids on day trips too you know . And who is rubbing it in her face . Come on brother stop reading in to things that arent there . Youre wife loves you clearly and loves youre 4 kids be happy and stop ruining youre life with sadness X

Answer 10

Yes tell your boyfriend and explain that its not his fault as well. If he doesn't understand what is going on he might sit there thinking what have I done. You shouldn't get over your Dad leaving, but maybe move past it, with the help you are hopefully going to get soon. There is nothing wrong with medication and it is usually given when all other medical diagnosis are ruled out (such as hormone imbalance or thyroid problems). I think you should be proud of yourself for getting help. And sharing will help eliminate the stigma against depression.

Answer 11

You are feeling sorry for yourself, I went through this too but hung in there and now feel a great sense of achievement, I have a beautiful family and this is more important than money, remember your wife might be feeling the same so a small present will let her know how you feel about her, don't wait till next Christmas buy it now.