And he wants to be a part of OUR lives, He seems Mature and readyy for a relationship..Should I give it a proper go
2007-01-07 10:16:35 · 34 answers · asked by Emmy J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey Emma,
He may be ready for a relationship but are you ? You need to think & do whats best for you & your little'n ! well havnt you been doing that for the last 3 years ! if you want him back in your life and to give him a "proper go" then he's got a lot of making up to do so let him do a bit of pampering and tell him what you want, take small steps & dont rush.
Best a Luck
2007-01-07 10:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Reproman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh so he got to take a vacation from you for 3 years, and you are thinking of allowing him back into your life? Where was YOUR vacation???? Do yourself a favor, and tell this guy to pay child support and pick up his child for visitation and that you and him will never be an item again. You will only be making a huge mistake by allowing him back into your life, because he will screw with your childs mind and make your child think that you are the bad person every time daddy decides to leave you again. This will be a vicious cycle.
2007-01-07 10:19:31 · answer #2 · answered by Foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking from experience, you should let him play an active part in you child's life but not full on straight away you need to be sure he isn't going to leave again ,do it on your terms, and please don't get straight into a relationship with him if it all goes wrong again not only will you have to explain things to your son, but you will be trying to deal with your own feelings at the same time. If hes serious he will stick around until your ready, you've waited 3 years a little bit longer won't hurt would be beneficial for you all
2007-01-08 01:40:48 · answer #3 · answered by emmachampy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Has he been paying child support? Has he been in the child's life for the past 3 years? If not, I'd say be VERY careful. Although this could be difficult for you, it will be MUCH more difficult for your child. An absent parent who suddenly shows up can cause problems...even more if he decides to take off again. I'd take it slow and see how it goes. My gut tells me that if he really were mature, he would have been in your life for the past 3 years.
2007-01-07 10:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the baby's going to need a father, just don't make him a part of your lives because if you get attached again it will affect not only you, but your child. Don't let yourself forget that he left you for three years, just because he's "matured" doesn't mean you're willing to take him back, and honestly you shouldn't be if he left you like that. It has to be something spefically professional and treat him like somoene you were never close with. let him be with the baby, but don't let him believe he's a perminate addition to the family at all. Make him know he's lucky to even be around.
2007-01-07 10:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by shescrazyx3 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
3 years is a long time. You probably know better then anybody. I wouldn't jump right into anything. Keep your guard up and don't let him too close to your child right away. Only you know whats best for you and your family. He could have changed for the better, or he could have ulterior motives. Just be careful. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 10:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 3 years....where the hell has he been? he's missed the important part of your childs growing up...if you feel that you can take him back at least make him live at his own home until you can trust him again, because he may get settled in then take a hike again, yet again leaving you to hold the baby....think hard first, consider your childs future and then decide if it's a good idea....but i would not allow him to move back in...not yet anyway
2007-01-07 10:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him be a part of the babies life but I would reccomend you don't get involved with him again because it is just setting yourself up for heartbreak.
You said it yourself.. he SEEMS ready...meaning you doubt his seriousness. I'd go with your gut instinct but don't deny your child a father if he is willing to play that role in the child's life.
2007-01-07 10:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd steal his money (oh, yeah, he probably doesn't have any). Cant you just say the father of my child instead of babys daddy?? That sounds so trashy and unintelligent.By the way, birth control is not very expensive and when you're on welfare they'll GIVE it to you just so we don't have another body to consume that doesn't have and cash flow.
2007-01-07 10:19:59 · answer #9 · answered by nyckib 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try suprivised visitation and many small visits and commitments. If he honors all of them increase his exposure to you and the baby. Gambling on him could be bad for a child that is now old enough to recognize abandonment.
2007-01-07 10:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋