I've been hit on a lot and usually just say "hey not interested", but it doesn't work well. Seems to get them to try harder. Some keep staring (from a distance) like hoping I'm gonna pass some signal. Could it be my smile? Maybe my bulge? I must be some sort of magnet. Is it true gay dudes can actually "sniff" out other gays dudes. Should I just give in and get a good night's worth of gay romping instead of fighting them off?
2007-01-07 10:11:11 · 13 answers · asked by Intrusivosity With Medium Doubt 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yeah, "I'm not interested" isn't quite the same as "I'm not gay.". There's no reason anybody shouldn't accept the "I don't play for your team" excuse and quit trying to pursue you. But "I'm not interested" to me seems to leave an implication that if the guy changes his behavior you might at some point become interested. I can't tell from your information if you are gay and not interested or straight and not interested. If you are straight and not interested, then I can't understand why you would want a romp with the gay boys. If you are gay and not interested (and don't ,mind a fib or two), you might also try the "I'm taken" excuse. If you want a romp, then hey - it seems like you've certainly got options. As long as you feel comfortable with the level of safety and aren't morally against sex with no love or no commitment like I am, then do as you see fit.
As for gaydar, I don't believe in it - mine certainly doesn't work. Some people are just real good at reading other people. It doesn't work for everyone though.
2007-01-07 10:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jordan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect the real culprit here is your "Hotness". If you hot, gay men I(me included) are gonna eye ya from a respectable distance. Relish it hottie, there will be a time when you beg for a glance from the dog catcher....Feel Me. Now being actually hit on and then you telling the dude your not interested should suffice..However, just like in the straight world there are assholes that can't take no for an answer and overly pushy and need to be told to F**K OFF! If someone is being pushy and won't take no for answer- they're just aassholes..You shouldn't have to have a wedding band on, or carry a picture of your girl...You have every right to expect some decency and respect from others- strangers or friends...Blunt Honesty works Best...Demand your respect if need be...Oh, and don't get mad at me if I just glance at you once or twice...Love Eye Candy of Both Sexes!!! Yeah Baby! BIG LOVE< Kevin
2007-01-07 19:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by sckreet 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Saying 'not interested' to a gay guy will, in general, just make him try harder. As a gay lad, it can sometimes be pathetic to watch someone totally shame themselves to try and force you to be interested.
You should try saying 'I'm not gay' or 'I'm very flattered, but I'm straight'. Something like that anyway... you need to clarify very clearly what you go for.
However, if you're a guy in a gay club, then you're going to get people checking you out no matter what. It's just a part of the course I'm afraid. ;-)
2007-01-07 19:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My, such self confidence. 1st off, giving in will only encourage people. Within the gay community, saying you're not interested isn't necesarily the same as saying "no". Yeah, they ARE looking to get a little mixed message from you. Flirting as art form, you know? You might need to be much more clear about your heterosexuality. I might suggest saying, "Sorry, I'm here with my girlfriend" or wear a wedding ring. More than anything, most guys aren't going to get their feelings hurt if you're honest with them. Most people expect a certain amount of uncertainty in today's environment. Sometimes it's really tough to tell who IS and who ISN'T.
Good luck
2007-01-07 18:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by foghnanross 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only go with them if you're gay. I'm not sure what it could be, maybe you're just attractive to them. "Gaydar" or the ability to know who's gay is a bit of a joke, but some people, straight and gay, can pick out gay people. Just make it very clear you're not interested and, if that doesn't work and you're desperate, talk about your girlfriend - even if you don't have one.
2007-01-07 18:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by girsalias 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might just try saying something like, "Sorry, I swing the other way." Or " I play with the other team" I've heard both of those
responses on tv given by people in similiar situations.
And I do think talking about a girlfriend could be a good idea.
You could even have a "picture" of her in your wallet. Good luck to you.
2007-01-07 18:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by sandyfirewind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I usually don't hit on a straight man unless i feel comfortable enough that he will at least accept me for finding him attractive. i do take no as a answer & he knows that if he ever wanted to try something i would be willing with sealed lips (NO PUN HERE) it is between me & him. also if you are having second thoughts about trying it you won't know for sure if it's jsut a feeling or something you like unless you do just make sure the guy doesn't Kiss & Tell others.
2007-01-07 18:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by bro_boss_citified_bear 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, tell them you are "flattered" but you don't go that way. On the other hand if you have a mind to try it ... give it a try. Maybe you are bi. You are likely giving off some kind of vibes that gay guys are picking up on their "GayDar".
2007-01-07 19:53:19 · answer #8 · answered by morahastits 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look, if you've already TOLD THEM once or twice, be more firm. Just say "look, if I'm interested, YOU WILL KNOW." Don't wink, don't smile but don't be nasty either. In other words, there is no reason to be hateful, but "no means no." And yes, sometimes we see guys that give us mixed signals, but if they tell me no once, I'm through (and yes, my Gaydar has messed up ONCE - boy was I embarrassed) lol. The signal has gotten through.
2007-01-07 18:20:21 · answer #9 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2007-01-07 19:46:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋