If you love someone and you know they care for you :might even love you: how much time should you spend?

Question

on him?
We've been off an on for 3 1/2 years
BUt i just cant seem to get over him.

Answer 1

I think you need to find the root of the problem. There is obviously something within you that makes you want to hold on to him. Find out why. You need to soul search and move on with your life. Decide if it is afear of rejection, or failure, or if you honestlythink you deserve to be treated in this manner and keep asking why?, until the answer is truly clear to you.

Answer 2

This is an interesting question for me. First, you need to make sure that communication is very very easy. Second, if this is the case, then just keep it that way. Third, when you have had enough waiting really let him know. Often, these times of relationships really get going on a break up, but the idea of it being
"off and on" after only 3 1/2 years.

Answer 3

Spend as much time as you can but not too much, get as close as possible without being too close. Try to make him like you. If you're pleasant and help him a few times when he's depressed, it can improve how he feels significantly. I knew someone, very miserable at times, I just distract him occaisonally from whatever bothers him and he's at a much better standing with me.

If you can't get too close, you can still be his friend which can actually, at times, be better than a deeper relationship. This can take you a few months, but you'll eventually work things out with him. If you really like him, don't give up on meeting him unless he hates you. He surely doesn't, just be nicer to him without making it seem like you'd do anything.

If you can't get him to love you, it's not hopeless...as I've said before, being just friends can be better.

Don't leave him unless you have someone else who distracts you completely...the mind is one of the most powerful entities and sadness is one of the most powerful weapons.

Answer 4

What type of love?? What type of care?? Don't let yourself become abused! Don't just give and give and give and expect a positive outcome. You must see yourself. Dont rush into relationships. If you see somethin wrong and you don't know why then break it off. Becase you will eventually be 4 1/2 years then 5 1/2 years then 6 1/2 years of an off again and then on again relaionship. You are angry and resent him for what he did to you. You are still a little girl and he sullied your heart. Break it off.....step back.....be patient. He will come back crying to you looking for his mommy but you must resist! Tell him to go away. Patience girl....patience!!

Answer 5

You'll get over him if you really want to. You were born without him and chances are you'll die without him. It simply matters on how long you are going to take to realize you have a life to live, with millions of other possibilities out there for you, most much better than he'll ever be for you, in terms of compatibility. You'll understand that, and everything will become clear.

Answer 6

I say try and spend less time with him... like only call him for like 20 mintues a week or something.
if you dont try and get over him and he moves on its just going to leave you heartbroken

Answer 7

depend how much you love him, or loves you. if you really like him spend the the time how much you can. if you feel he doesn't like to loss the time. Do you know how much loves you ?

Answer 8

You're asking in the wrong forum, but to answer your question: as much as it takes.

Answer 9

Exactly why are you "off again"?