We have been married for almost 6 years and the last couple of years have been really bad. Currently, we are separated because of financial and emotional issues. I suspected that he cheated on me almost a year ago while working out of town and have now found out it was true. It was only with one female but it happened more than once. He claims it was a mistake, if it was, then why did he do it more than once?
Here's the problem. I also cheated with someone about a month ago and he doesn't know. I have never agreed with cheating and always said I would divorce if cheated on. Should I get a divorce because of his cheating even though I have done it too?
2007-01-07 09:27:23 · 17 answers · asked by jacemo 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well in my opionion you did not cheat on him because you were already seperated. Thats a divorce without doing the paperwork. If he cheated on you and he admits doing it and it was a mistake then you need to be more understanding and realize that is just what it was. The world has too many people in it to say that you can only have sex with one person and be in love with one person for your entire life. As much as our culture wants to control that idea and say it is brutily wrong and you should be punshied in the lake of fire for eternity, society has proved that it is just not true. If you love him you should be unconditional understanding and realize yes this may happen again or yes we may have to do more work on our realtionship even seeing a counselor but if it is love its worth all the hard work. Dr Phil says dont end a relationship until you have exhausted all resources. I agree, merging two lives together will always be very difficult. If you work this out you will have a badge in your relationship and you will be proud of what you both have done. If not move on dump him and find new love.
Good luck
2007-01-07 10:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by renew69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, that is cheating on both your and his part. But, are you two not mature enough to discuss this. Get your head together, work together to straighten out the financial situation. Even if you get a divorce that problem is still going to be there, both may have to pay, but divorce does not settle financial problems. As far as cheating, you and him are wrong. Go to marriage counselor or a minister, your marriage needs help. Start now and be willing to forgive and forget it. All marriages are worth trying to save.
2007-01-07 09:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by m c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to throw away your marriage just because you both cheated, you can do counseling and regain trust in each other and your love. Read the book Divorce Buster by Michelle Weiner Davis. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and that you CAN overcome hard issues and live the rest of your lives together happily. You have to be willing to forgive your husband and yourself. Good Luck!
2007-01-07 09:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling? Statisics show that by and large most couples who separate never get back together. Also, do you have any children? I believe with forgiveness and some good marriage counseling that your marriage can be restored. You have already invested 6 years in the marriage and it would be a shame not to give it your best shot.
2007-01-07 09:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No don't get a divorce just because of that you are both suppose to work on your marriage.Remember your wedding vows somtimes i know men can be a pain in the ?.But i would'nt give up that easely especially if you have a family together.
2007-01-07 09:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages are built on fidelity, trust, love and mutual respect. If you don't have those things, chances are no matter how hard you try, you can't make it work.
Sounds like you are both ready to move on. It can be difficult, but it also opens you up to new opportunities in possibly new love.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-07 10:08:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should tell you whether to get a divorce or not. You should go to a marriage counselor together. You can save your marriage if you both make the effort.
2007-01-07 09:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think divorce is the only thing that will help you.he cheated,you cheated,youll never trust each other again.and if money can come between two people who love each other you evidently got married for the wrong reasons
2007-01-07 09:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by starr67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest counseling for you both, while you both put full effort into your marriage.
Perhaps you both need an opportunity to regain love and trust of yourselves and each other. If that is NOT possible, then perhaps you both need to dissolve your union.
2007-01-07 09:38:48 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you people ever make marriages work anymore? Geesh! People are so flippin selfish anymore!!!!! It's all about ME ME ME ME and ME.
Know wonder marriage is going down hill in America. Selfish people who take everything for granted
2007-01-07 09:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋