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Dear Doctor,

I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child each year, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are absolutely useless.

After getting married I was told to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha.

My doctor then suggested we use the safe period. At this time we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work.

A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's hardly tastes like Coors, but I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and another child on the way.

Another old wives tale was if my wife jumped up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from earlier), if my wife jumped up and down she would have ended up with two black eyes, and even knocked herself unconscious.

I asked a chemist about the condom. He demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex stretched over the thumb can prevent a baby.

My wife was then supplied with the coil and after many unsuccessful attempts to fit it we realized that we had got a left-handed thread and my wife is definitely a right-handed screw.

The Dutch cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all. But alas...it did give my wife a severe headache. We were given the largest size, but it was still too tight across her forehead.

Finally we tried the pill. At first it kept falling out, then we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started then to put it between her knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near her. This did work for a while until the night she forgot it....another child resulted.

You must appreciate my problem: if this operation is unsuccessful I shall have to revert to oral sex. Although I don't mind just talking about it, it could never be the same as the real thing.

Yours faithfully,

Ray Jackson

2007-01-07 09:26:23 · 16 answers · asked by mrs microchipper 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

16 answers

You should get 10 points for just sharing this!!

2007-01-07 09:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1 0

Funny

2007-01-07 09:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by Luz1219 2 · 2 0

It's not a joke, more of a letter. A joke ends in a punchline. Is the name Ray Jackson meant to be funny?

Also, drop the jumping up and down bit. It makes the joke too long, and isn't really funny.

Perhaps drop the letter format, and turn it into a dialogue. for instance, the doc starts "why do you want to go for this operation".. and then says "have you tried..." and each time he gives a bit of the story. That way, you can end it on the punchline.

which would be a response to the doc's last question:
"well doc, I don't mind talking about it, but it could never be the same as the real thing."

2007-01-07 09:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by dude 5 · 1 4

Offensive. a number of my friends make jokes approximately disabled human beings, and that they look at me like i'm from yet another planet whilst they discover out that i don't discover them humorous. it is incorrect to make relaxing of somebody for something they might't replace.

2016-10-30 06:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Nice

2007-01-07 09:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

I like your joke. It's like all funny jokes, based on 90% fact. Ignorance about sexual matters is one case in which ' ignorance is NOT bliss '.If you know everything then u will know if it can hurt u or not.

2007-01-07 10:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel Maria 6 · 1 0

Funny, with tragic undertones

2007-01-07 09:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by used to live in Wales 4 · 3 0

I've just worn out my glasses reading this so my vision is now somewh47 1mp4r3d, th3 k3y5 ar3 d1ff1(ul7 70 533 Oh 7h3 j0K3 i5 g00d! WHO IS THIS MORON DUDE UNDER ME, WHAT A SMART ARS3.

2007-01-07 09:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

Cute!

2007-01-07 09:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by lindsey4706 3 · 2 0

LOL, thats a classic

2007-01-07 09:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by Z 3 · 2 0

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