Keep the baby or give it away?

Question

I have a friend named Julie. Julie is the sort of obsessive woman who wanted to marry every man she dated and thinks that if you have a child you're going to keep a relationship together.

She's 23. She's about to be a teacher, and she's 10 weeks pregnant. She's known the father for 3 months.

She overanalyses every situation and her boyfriend broke up with her.

Now once again...you're 23, you're going to be a single parent, you're trying to get a career in teaching, your family doesn't support you, and you have little insurance.

If you were in this situation, would you keep the baby or give the baby away for adoption? Why?

Actually I'm not "Julie." She really is a friend of mine, and we're butting heads on this issue. I know where I stand, but I wanted to see how others view this situation as well.

Answer 1

She should have thought about that before...why did she not get an abortion...

I am sorry to be so negative but my husband and I are trying so hard to get pregnant.

You know it is so funny that the chicks who don't want to get pregnant get pregnant but truly married couples who try so hard and do everything right don't!

That makes me so mad!!!

If your friend wants give her child up for adoption email me because my husband and I would gladly take the baby.

we are a great couple and my husband is a very successful music producer and we have money....and we love children and dogs

Answer 2

As a teacher she will have alot of time off. It is workable, with childcare. But I wonder if she is ready for this responsible. She will need to get child support from the father. But it doesn't sound like the baby was conceived for the right reason or by accident. I wouldn't want the child to become a thing of resentment for her.

Answer 3

Its not the babies fault. She is going to have to grow up. I was 18 and I had 2 kids by then I still raising my children. Keep the baby. Its the most precious thing in life especially when you put it in your arms for the first time. The baby will always love you. Just cuz the man doesnt love you. The baby is your blood. Your crazy if you give it up.

Answer 4

If Julie can't care for the child the way he/she deserves to be cared for then give them up for adoption. It's not fair to the child at all.

I'm 21, in school, and not married but I know that if I did get pregnant I would do everything in my power to provide for that child. If that means dropping out of school and getting a job as a waitress until I can afford to go back to school then that's what I have to do.

If she can't put the baby first then encourage her to give it up.

Answer 5

Well in any situation you need to think about the child and not yourself. Age dosnt really matter because she was old enough to get pregnant. She dosnt need her family to support her because she and the baby are her family now. Their are places woman can go if they cannot support themselves for a period of time. Trying to start a career dosnt really matter anymore. Wait till you are ready to use day care facilities and then go back to work. I didnt have insurance for myself or my kids at first and we are still alive. Baby's survive without insurance just as well as adults do. You need to raise your own child.

Answer 6

Something makes me think that you are Julie but regardless...

I don't think anyone else can make the decision except Julie, however I think people can give advice. If she is not ready and willing to dedicate herself to raising a child on her own and accept all the sacrifices that she will have to endure to do that, then she should consider adoption. If she is ready and wants to do it, then I think she will make it work. It won't be easy, but I know plenty of people who have made it work and raised happy healthy children with a lot less. Best of luck.

Answer 7

I WOULD NEVER GIVE MY BABY UP FOR ADOPTION NOR HAVE AN ABORTION. I WOULD KEEP MY BABY.

FIRST, SHE IS 23 AND SHE IS NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE WHEN HAVING SEX??? DAM SHE MUST BE DUMB.

SHE KNOWS THE GUY AND THINK SHE WANTS TO MARRY EVERY MEN SHE DATES AND NOW SHE IS GOING TO BE A TEACHER???? A PERSON THAT WILL BE TEACHING OUR KIDS???? I WOULD NOT HAVE HER AS A TEACHER OF MY KIDS.

SHE IS VERY AND I MEAN VERY INMATURE FOR HER AGE AND HAS NO SENCE OF RESPOSABILITY WHAT LIFE IS.

AM 23, GOING TO BE A TEACHER AND MY FAMILY DOES NOT SUPPORT ME NOR MY IDEAS AND ON TOP OF IT ALL, HAVE THE LOWEST INSURANCE SECURITY I CAN HAVE AND AM PREGNANT. WOW WOW WOW.

I WOULD HAVE MY CHILD, START MY JOB AS A TEACHER AND LIVE IN A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT UNTILL I COULD GET ENOUGH CASH TO MOVE ON. AS FOR MY PARENTS NOT SUPORTING ME, THEN IS THEIR LOST NOT MINE. AM MAKING MY LIFE WORK. BUT THAT IS ME, MY OPINION OF COURSE.

Answer 8

It's only theirs discision. She has to think about baby. If she gives it away, will that baby be happy at other parents? It's not just a baby, it's a connection between these two people, it's a life,just like other lifes.Think about it.If you are that baby, would you like to be addopted?Sooner or later it will find out is it the really his familly.

Answer 9

I wouldn't have it at all...but that's me, not her. She needs to make a decision that she can live with and think through the long term before making it...

I'd also suggest counseling for her issue of seeing every guy she dates as a potential husband...why she's so insecure/needy and feels she has to have a man in her life...

Best of luck to her...whatever she decides...

Answer 10

Keep the baby as a constant reminder that you can't trap men into marrying you. It is not the baby's fault she is a little nuts. I think her parents will come around and if they don't, they will still be grandparents and that wil probably burn their souls. Good luck to her, you and the baby!!