I'm 52 and I am at last enjoying some 'me time'. the childen have left home and I have time to do all sorts of things I wish I'd had time for before. My husband up until recently worked long hours and was often away. over the years I've been used to coping on my own and spent alot of evenings alone. when he was made redundant he decided with my support to take a less stressful job leading up to retirement. the trouble is, he is content to spend his time watching TV every evening. He says he doesn't mind me going out to my various evening classes etc but I hoped we could do more things together. After several failed attempts at finding
interests in common I have given up. I thought It was the men that decided to relive their youth and trade in for a younger model? me I'd just settle for a model that goes! I seem to be feeling younger and younger and watching my husband getting older and older.
am I the only one?
2007-01-07 08:10:37 · 17 answers · asked by ragdoll 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your husband exactly what you have said here. It is time for you two to do some things together and that does not mean sitting in front of a tv. Encourage him to do things with us. Explain to him that you need his companionship. Good luck.
2007-01-07 08:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dyan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO not at all , women definitely have them too. !! I don't know that l would call it a mid life crisis though unless you want to go and buy yourself a souped up car, get a tattoo and chase young men !! As that is normally what guy's do, well chase young women, you know what l mean. Surely you must have some girl friends to go out with ? I have lots of friends and when my husband chooses to stay home or he is at work ( he works long hours still, he is 50, l am 49 ) l go out with them. We don't do anything wrong just have a few drinks, dance and talk. All innocent fun but l always have a ball out with the girls. I feel like you that l have earned the right to be free now having also raised 3 children, being chief cook and bottle washer so to speak for so long. My husband is really cool with the idea, so it's never a problem. So you go out and have yourself some fun. If your husband doesn't want to go out with you, it's his loss but don't sitting around watching TV and getting old with him. Keep yourself young and happy, believe me you will enjoy it. Just make sure it's all good innocent fun and your husband knows where you are and there will be no problems. Enjoy yourself !! Best of luck and a very Happy New Year to you.
2007-01-07 08:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't find common interests early on and put in the time it takes to have a solid relationship, there is no hope for the future. This is not midlife crisis. Your husband, if he is not working and being directed by someone else, does not have a clue or an original thought. He can live out his years before the tube living vicariously because you never helped him learn anything and in your own way were just "watching" life go by. Now you expect it all to come together? He's who he is and he did not lie to you. You did not tell him that when you are retired you expect to go, go, go. You are the problem. So, go get another life.
2007-01-07 08:18:10 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is common to lose intrest, especially when you have raised your children and now are looking to eachother for that fulfillment that you enjoyed with the children. But that is where you have to remember that he cannot fill the void you have. I think you are doing the right thing in taking classes and improving yourself.
Is there really nothing that you two enjoy doing together? Is there anything other than watching tv that he is interested in that you might also enjoy? Maybe you could go out on "dates" once a week where you go to dinner and then to a movie or dancing. Is he the type who would be willing to try new things?
Just don't give up! Keep plugging away and eventually I think you will stumble upon something that you both might enjoy.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-07 08:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Angie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No to all your questions because of the fact each of them are guy or woman and not absolute rules of nature. I in no way had any of the terrible issues maximum experience whilst i began out menopause at fifty seven. My husband is sixty seven so he's only too previous now and neglected his probability to have a midlife disaster.those are my husband's and my reviews. I guess if a hundred human beings respond very few might have experienced an identical indications on an identical age. Your 2nd question is puzzling . Is your 2nd question no remember if the size of time spent married to an identical man or woman has an result on midlife crisises. it is like another questions particular to each man or woman if it incredibly is our question.
2016-10-30 06:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by uday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband has been working his *** off for years, and now just wants to relax.
Give the guy a break and be realistic about what you two can do together as a couple. A 50 something year old man, looking forward to retirement, doesn't want to go classes, dancing, or bike riding or whatever you have been trying to get him to do.
2007-01-07 08:21:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds more like relationship changes / issues than a personal midlife crisis with you. relationships change a lot over time depending on the people. if you make more female friends, it can probably help. it doesn't sound like he's a bad guy from what you wrote... just not that socially adventurous anymore. not all couples have to do everything together. especially given the way the first few decades of your marriage have gone, it won't happen overnight.
2007-01-07 08:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not alone. This happens often. A good friend of mine - had this same situation. It drove her crazy. Her husband ended up dying a year ago (sorry bad news) and now she can do as she pleases. Just because your married doesn't mean that you have to agree to the same type lifestyle. Do your thing and set time just for you and him. Make sure you set the time for him or you'll grow apart. Good luck!
2007-01-07 08:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that for you. I imagine you must feel pretty used and rejected right now.
I think if you want anything to change, you've got to let him know what you want out of life, that you've got a lot of great years left, and you don't think it's fair for him to coast on your energy, because in all that you said, to me that's the most tragic; he's making you work to make his life easier, and he's investing that energy into....nothing...when one would hope that he too sees a new opportunity to spend time doing things with his life mate.
In the meantime, do what you've got to do. Let him see you experiencing life, let him understand it's up to him to get off his duff and be active. My advice is to try some adventurous things you'd like that he'd never think of you as doing. That should wake him up if anything can.
2007-01-07 08:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you have written my life story,except I don't think about it as midlife crises,because I managed my life , I have programming to do walking and swimming during morning,and I do my housework ,spend mid day with my kids and,I like evenings through which I can read books and translate English books to my language,watching TV(while my husband is sleeping on sofa) I don't mind.Try my experience,You will enjoy it.
2007-01-07 08:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by <<< sky >>> 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋