my husband and i got arried about 6 months ago, but we have bee together for about 5 years (since i ws 16, he was 19) and now he wants to have a baby...thats the problem...i cant have children...and he doesnt know, and he really wants kids and i do to. and i never told him...what should i do? im so scared, and comfused, please, help =(
2007-01-07 08:00:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i got my tubes removed when i was 14 cuz i had o.cancer.
and i wanted to tell him but i couldnt bring my self to.
2007-01-07 08:07:46 · update #1
u all got thumbs up =D
2007-01-07 08:08:47 · update #2
i know i should have told him, i know im not being fair, i know im being selfish, thats why i asked, im gonna tell him, i just need advice.
so please, dont bash on me...
2007-01-07 08:13:24 · update #3
thanks carri, all of u guys had good answers.
2007-01-07 08:14:49 · update #4
to bogus...
im not asking you to lie, im not asking u to be nice, im not asking u to sugar-cot anything, just dont tell me im stupid, and stuff, im no saying u did, im just saying dont be mean and creul.
2007-01-07 08:35:46 · update #5
thankyou all...um, he is packing his things and he is leaving me...i deserve it...i was unfair, so thanks.
2007-01-07 10:59:01 · update #6
first you need to tell him wow that's going to be a big blow to him you should have told him he loves you girl he married you right ..
all you can do is talk to him and go from there ... good lock to you girl
2007-01-07 09:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by bonnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, are you sure you can't have children? If not for certain, go to your Doctor and ask him to check to see if there is something that is preventing you from having children and if so, ask about other ways you could get pregnant. You really should have been honest with your husband. If you two have been together for 5 years, trust and honesty should never have been an issue with you two. You need to be honest with him now. I hope he loves you enough to forgive you. Good luck.
2007-01-07 16:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by Dyan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not telling your husband the truth early on in your relationship was a huge mistake. How would you feel if he kept something from you that would affect both of your lives? You have no choice but to tell him now, but don't be surprised if he reacts negatively and even wants a divorce. I know I'd leave my spouse if something that huge was revealed years later.
2007-01-07 16:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by Am I. Incognito 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think we all agree that you should have told him before getting married.But if he really loves you i think he'll understand. He might be upset at first because you never told him but when he gets over it you can go over your options. Who knows maybe you can have kids. Its not your fault that you had o cancer and had your tubes removed. At least its not like some women who cant have children because of an abortion(s). I hope al goes well with you husband.
2007-01-07 17:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by LD82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that, you must be in a very awkward position. Why did you not tell him, im sure you would have thought to yourself that he would have wanted kids at some point.
Why can you not have kids>? can it be treated or how about artificial. There are ways around i suppose. Good luck
2007-01-07 16:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Phillip P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, tell him that you believe you can't have children. Second, discuss alternatives that HE is receptive to (adoption, surrogate mothers etc.). Third, make an appointment with doctors and make 100% sure (with second or third opinions) that you absolutely can't have kids and let him know that you plan on trying your best to have kids.
Good luck!
p.s. Marriage is about being together, not kids. It might not hurt to remind him of that.
2007-01-07 16:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by Developing Minds 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is very deceitful. I feel for you this could break you up. You should have told him but that when you two discussed having a family . You have to sit down with your husband and tell him the truth. You two will need counseling. And hopefully he will be open to adopition.
2007-01-07 16:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by GoldenGirl 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What about invetro. Just sit down and talk to him. Tell him the whole situtation, He loves you he will understand. Then go and talk to a doctor about your options. Good Luck
2007-01-07 17:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this seems really odd to me, but all i can say is that you made your bed and now you have to lie in it.
don't ask us to not tell you the truth. he is going to be pissed, and you need to be grown up enough to take responsibility for your actions.
i don't know the best approach for you to take with him, he is your husband afterall, so hopefully you know. but whatever it is just tell him. over dinner, after good sex, i have no idea, but just do it. the longer you live this lie the worse its gonna be.
2007-01-07 16:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him this, NOW. The longer you wait, the longer he can talk about that little one starting to sit up and to talk. The longer for him to be telling you this and you knowing its a lie..
2007-01-07 16:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by FRESH_PEACH_98 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋