I've found out that he used to send SMS and got lots of female e-mails and also their mobile numbers and during the summer I found out that he was talking all day for months and sending SMS to a specific mobile number. He refused everything at first but later he gave me a very little detail about the relationship with that person. He insisted that it was a man but I've found out it's a woman. I was shocked. Why should a man have a secret friend from his wife (silly question?) ?
2007-01-07 07:50:27 · 4 answers · asked by kalamaraki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Spouses don't have "secrets"...
2007-01-07 08:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE SHOULD NOT, even though society more and more tries to justify such things, it's not okay or healthy in a marriage.
The fact he lied should tell you there is far more to it and the fact he then said it was a man, and it was a woman is an absolute sign that it was more then just a friendship.
No one but he knows the truth, but if it were me, I'd feel he was cheating. I'd not be staying in any relationship where the man felt he one, needed to lie to me, and two, had a relationship, even a friendship with a women, to which he could not tell me about.
Healthy marriages keep good boundaries. My married friends do not make friends with people of the oppossite sex, unless their spouse in friends with that person and then they don't carry on private on going conversations. They may have male/female friends at work, but those friendships are open and known to the spouse and they do not go out with their friend after work. It's a work friendship or church friendship and only when that person is a friend with their spouse, do they do things together outside of work or church.
I think you alreayd know it's not okay and you are just afriad that once you say it's not okay, it could mean your marriage is over. I
2007-01-07 16:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he cheated or thought he did you will be surprised how he may try and hide it but insist on meeting her and say you have hired a private detective then a day later make a scene on the phone like you have a call from this private eye and hes going to reveal all see what he says then
also tell him to pack his bags because if the news is bad you want him out as soon as possible
2007-01-07 15:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by mama penguin of destruxion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not silly question at all, sounds to me like you need to do a little more investigating, would he like it if you had a secret friend more than likely NO
2007-01-07 16:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by Saude! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋