Is it wise to allow an 11 year old girl to date a 13 year old boy?

Question

My 11 year old stepdaughter, who does not live with us, has already started dating. She is seeing a boy who is 13. He does live in another town, but when she visits her father in another town, he and her mother allow her to see this boy. They go to the movies, go to the mall, ice-skate and just hang out, all this is unsupervised. She lied to the boy and told him she was 13 when in fact she won't be 12 for another 6 months. Its difficult to expain, but she lives 200+ miles away from us, so every other weekend her father picks her up and takes him to his mother's house which is 70 miles away from my stepdaughter's home. I think he's afraid to lose her by saying no to some of the things she wants to do. I, myself do NOT think that a girl her age should be alone with a boy who will be in high school next year!

Answer 1

well you've got to watch her behaviour i mean they don't have that experience to do some unappropriated stuffs. Kids at that age usually think about Love and they date just because they like each other...... But it'd be good if you pay attention to him because guys usually don't miss the change of trying something else.

Answer 2

Theres different ways to approach this. I don't think anyone should be allowed to "Date" per say, at such a young age. But if you look at it, from an outsiders view, who are we to limit love? im not saying this child is in love because she is so young, but its just hanging out with a boy who is just two years older than her. Whats the difference now, or when she is 15 and he is 17 is it not gonna be okay then? how about when shes 16 and he is 18, both willl still be in high school, so its not okay then? the problem here, is that the father isn't going with the girl. Of course its public places and at such a young age i highly doubt they are kissing and doing other things besides maybe a hug or a hand hold. Remember when you were that age, you were really scared of the opposite sex, and you wouldn't dare think of other things, let alone act on them. I say let them hang out, and make the father have a family thing of it, not go and watch a movie with them, i think going to a movie is ok, but what kind of movie is it? theres a rating system. it should be a g or pg movie. ice skating is ok, just have the father be there and do his own thing. maybe you should go too. be more involved with it, because you obviously care about it to some degree, but its not your child nor does she live with you? so just make it a family thing.

Answer 3

No, I don't think this sounds right. Someone's head needs to be examined for allowing it.

I started dating when I was 13. He was 14. But then, our families were close, this was a John-Boy Walton type of kid, and our mothers provided the transportation so it was very supervised. Only under these circumstances would dating be acceptable before around 15 or 16 years old.

Answer 4

I do not think an 11 yo shoud be dating, and in fact a 13 yo should not either. They are too young to be left unsupervised. Their little bodies are filled with raging hormones, and they are not wise enough to make good choices in the heat of the moment. Do not allow her to ruin her life in an attempt to stay connected. If she gets angry and acts childlike, it is proof that she is not ready for a mature relationship. use your motherly intuition. Its almost always right on the money.

Answer 5

I t is never wise to allow dating before 16 years of age.

Here is why.

Once we allow our children to start the process of growing into adulthood, we cannot stop that path from progessing from simply handholding and such to adult activities.

The sooner we allow the simple things, such as innocent dating, the sooner the child thinks they are ready for more and more.

You take a child of 11 and allow them to start the mating process which we call dating and they feel ready to commit to another at a younger age. If we wait until that child is 16, we have saved them from five years of "mating maturity".

Once planted, seeds grow quickly. There is so much time yet ahead to start the mating process, no need to force our children to grow up so quickly, unless we actually do want to be rid of the responsibility of them sooner than we should that is.

Answer 6

i would say that there is a difference between "dating" and going out. a date is where the guy picks up the girl and takes her out and then brings her back home. i'm assuming the 13 year old cannot drive and therefore is just going out with her. in this case i say no. there is no problem with him hanging out with other friends or where an adult is in the next room but alone on a date ......... no and this is coming from a 16 year old girl

Answer 7

11? Wow. You shouldn't allow dates until she is AT LEAST 13 or 14. My mom won't allow me to date until I'm in college, and I'm cool with that, because she always tells me "Set up a future for yourself where you can support your own self before thinking about boys." If you start allowing her to date at age 11, she'll be having sex at age 14. You should wait until at least 8th grade to allow her to date, and age gaps while dating at a young age is not a good thing.

Answer 8

My daughter would have never gone out with a boy at age 11. She wasn't allowed to go out until last year. She turned 16 then.

Answer 9

It isnt wise to allow and 11 year old to date..

I sure wouldnt allow my 11 year old to be alone with a 13 year old..

The whole situation is wrong

Dating should be reserved for high school aged kids I would say the youngest at about 15....

To the person who said that it isnt your problem and to basically keep your nose out of it...I am a step parent and have a step daughter that lives with us full time...You as a step parent are a legal guardian by marriage..You are an inflence on the childs upbringing..It is your business. I am sure your husband is worried also..What is going on is wrong...period! It's not healthy.

You can talk to her (step daughter) about it..

Your husband and you talk about it then both speak to her..

Your hsuband speak to the ex about it.

OR

get Family Services involved ...counsleing and such..

Answer 10

Im going to get lots of thumb downs on this, but my opinion stands. Stop getting involved in your children's lives! This is why I am graduating early and leaving my parents. Learn to let them decide for themselves because they will have to someday.

I doubt either of them will do what you think they will. Just let her do what she wants, stop controlling your children, they are equals of society, stop treating them like they are lesser. Anyone who treats others without equality should not live. That is my firm belief. However, ask her if she really does love him. By the way... age doesn't matter and shouldn't matter when it comes to love.

When it comes to sex, please keep it within your own age level, don't be a pedo is all I have to say.

BY THE WAY: Girls mature faster than men, so thats about the same age concerning physically mature. However, I would stomp his *** if she gets pregnant at a young age. That sh1t should stop.

Answer 11

Your in a hard spot as a step-parent, but I would speak with both the biological parents about your concerns. I myself would not let my 11 year old go to the movies unsuperviced, but that is my way.