anymore, but wants to try and make our marriage work, what would you do and do you think it's possible to make it work
2007-01-07 07:18:45 · 25 answers · asked by blanche d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've been together for almost 15 years by the way
2007-01-07 07:26:05 · update #1
Well, the first answer gave you the cut and dried practicalities. I'll try to add some feeling. I'm sorry that your husband hit you with that bomb. I can't imagine what he hoped to gain. Nevertheless, he wants to try, and I'll bet you do, too. So I do think it's possible. Best bet is a counselor, but at least the two of you should figure out what he means. The spark is gone? He found someone else? He expected something different? Then take it from there. Good luck. Hugs.
2007-01-07 07:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by Savvy Sue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage does not begin at the wedding.
A wedding is a celebration of a mutual commitment and respect that already exists. If you don't bring that commitment to the alter, you don't leave with it. This isn't a half-way thing.
A divorce is not the end of the marriage. It's the recognition that the real marriage, the mutual commitment- has ended sometime in the past, and possibly never existed. It's an agreement to settle the differences so that life can move forward again.
The mutual commitment is the essence of a marriage; the legal status is a shell that has nothing to do with success or failure of it. Sustaining the shell after the fact only serves to perpetuate a miserable illusion.
Now- ask yourself if you are still married. If you are, go about the business of making it better. If not- go about the business of cleaning up the legalities and moving on.
2007-01-07 15:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by pegasusaig 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi im sorry he has told you this now.
If he wants to make it work then go for it and get to marriage coucelling. How long were you together ? I dont know why a person can love you and then not love you. Anyone can make a marrage work as he still loves you and will be there for you so i dont really know what her means by that, What does he find you not attractive or something. I
I think you can make the marraige work but i dont know wheather you can make him feel the same way about you.
2007-01-07 15:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That is a lot to take in, I'm sorry that you have to feel that kind of pain. You might be able to work things out, but do you really want someone that isn't in love with you? If you do, then I'll give you advice to help make it work. START DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF! Work out, style your hair, dress nicer. Not only will this make you feel better, but it will make you look better. In turn, he will be more sexually attracted to you. Boys think through two places: their nether regions and their stomachs. With that said, combine the two. Make him a nice dinner, then try something new in the bedroom. Be confident. If nothing changes, then it's time to realize that he isn;t good enough for you.
2007-01-07 15:25:58 · answer #4 · answered by ecogrl23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't love you but wants to make the Marriage work then why on earth has he gone and thrown a spanner in the works by telling you.
You really need to assess your feelings for him with renewed awareness and waryness.
Maybe he is really telling you that this is a Marriage of Duty and convenience for him. In that case what is going to happen to you and any family that you have when the light of his life breezes in and he takes it as his cue to go and leave you holding the Baby etc?
Think very carefully on all levels.
2007-01-07 16:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in the first place why did he marry u? to try and make the marraige work u guys should first go to marraige counseling and if that doesn't work both of u should try and make a list why u love each other and if both of your lists are more than15 answers you guys still have something but if its under 15 then I guess you weren't ment to be
2007-01-07 15:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times men have this way of throwing emotions like this one right at you when you least expect it! It may be that he has just realised that he has made a commitment to you and is running scared! It seems as if he is confused and wants more attention from you so he throws a spanner in the works! Men don't seem to grow up!
2007-01-07 15:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by smiler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy is a prick. have a go at making it work but keep up your own interests and do not rely on this guy too much.there are a lot of marriages out there where the couple do not actually love each other but have been together for years.
2007-01-07 15:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, this is really something that he should have told you before you got married. i called off a wedding 2 months prior for the same reason. if he really wants to try to make it work, then i guess you can try. however, you can't make yourself love someone and that's what marriage is all about.
2007-01-07 15:22:18 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You say you have been together 15 years.It would be pretty amazing if 'in love' lasted all that time.Being in love is that crazy stage then it settles down to love.Though it is possible to fall in love again with the same partner -it happened to me but it didn't last long-then it settled down again.Hope this helps.
2007-01-07 15:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋