Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more that includes these movie quotes??

Question

1. Wax on. Wax off.
2. And I was having SUCH a good day!
3. I ate garbage last night, Barbara... and loved it!
4. I think he should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.
5. Please don't say anything important 'til I come back.
6. Ooh, a cottage! How charming.

Answer 1

Once upon a time there was an average looking princess named Barbara wondering through the forest. Unfortunately, this was a somewhat dim-witted princess, which is how she came to be wondering the forest in the first place. You see, an unkind servant told Barbara that she should go play hide and seek by herself. So the dim-witted princess counted to two thousand and went out into the forest to find herself.
Well, about an hour into this quest, princess Barbara tripped over a slippery rock in a stream. She stood up, checking herself for any damage, when she suddenly she realized she'd scuffed a shoe. "And I was having SUCH a good day!" She exclaimed. But then she brightened, remembering that she brought her handy-dandy shoe repair kit with her everywhere. All she had to do was wax on, wax off, and her shoe was good as new! Well, good as new and covered in wax. But what was a princess to do? So she trudged on, searching for herself. Gee, I must have hid really well, she thought.
The dimwitted princess roamed the very small, easy to navigate forest for weeks, hopelessly lost. Then, one day, she came upon a bunny rabbit! It was so cute, and fluffy, and cuddly, she just had to pick it up and squeeze it. Which was when she discovered it was dead. But then she thought to herself, I ate garbage last night, Barbara...and loved it! How much worse could carrying a dead rabbit around be? So she trudged on, dead rabbit in hand.
Well, she was in luck, because the dead rabbit was a MAGICAL dead rabbit, which brought her good luck. It wasn’t long before she topped a hill and spied a small building near a stream. “Ooh, a cottage! How charming!” She said to her dead lucky rabbit, switching from trudge to skip as she made her way over to the aforementioned building.
She tied her rabbit to the hitching post in front before entering, parting with the words, “Please don’t say anything important until I come back.” Then she opened the cottage door and stepped in, revealing the strangest sight. A man was calmly sitting in a cage, dressed in a spiffy business suit, while two other men capered about, shouting outrageous things to eachother, the ceiling, and the man in the cage. So Princess Barbara stepped forward and spoke to the man in the cage. “Hiya! My name’s Princess Barbara. But you can call me Fluffy.”
“Hello Fluffy,” the man replied, unfazed. “My name is Pete.”
“Wat’cha doin’ in the cage?” Princess Barbara asked, rocking back and forth on her heels.
“He’s stark raving mad!” shouted one of the caperers, coming up behind the princess suddenly.
“Honestly,” said the other caperer, “I think he should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Asked the princess.
“He says there’s no such thing as a magical lucky dead rabbit!” Shouted the first caperer.
“Don’t be silly, Pete,” laughed the princess. “Why, the reason I found this here cottage was because of my magical lucky dead rabbit. It’s tied up out front right now.”
“Really?” Said the second caperer, raising his eyebrows in a way that was obviously maniacal.
“Uh-huh.” Nodded the princess enthusiastically.
So the two caperers killed Princess Barbara (aka Fluffy) and stole her magical lucky dead rabbit, which, two days later, magically rose from the dead and ate them. And Pete. And the unkind servant. And the rest of the kingdom.

So everyone lived happily ever after.

Answer 2

Sure!

Barbara, a lawyer, is talking to a loopy client, who is being accused of robbery.
"Please don't say anything important 'til I come back," Barbara said. "I'm checking into buying a cottage." "Ooh, a cottage! How charming!" her client, Ralph, exclaimed. "Oh, but can I tell you one more thing, ma'am? I ate garbage last night, Barbara...and loved it!" "Okay, then, Ralph. I'll be back in an hour." "No, no! Please wait!" Ralph exclaimed. "One more thing! I promise!" Barabra hesitated at the door, then let out a long sigh. "All right, Ralph, last thing." He smiled like a kid. "Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? The lady goes, 'Wax on. Wax off.' But when the wax comes off, it REALLY hurts!" Barbara stared at him for a long time. She muttered good-bye, then slipped out the door.
"And I was having SUCH a good day! Until Ralph, that is," Barbara complained to her therapist later that day. "I think he should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man," she concluded. "As do I, Mrs. Walters, as do I," was the reply.


Sorry, that's REALLY bad, but you did say amusing...

Answer 3

"Oh, that's the doorbell, please don't say anything important 'til I come back, I have to go sign for a package. Ooh, a cottage, how charming....I'm sorry, I just got a new building for my Christmas Village and got carried away...now what were we talking about? How was my day, you ask? It was sunny out and I was having SUCH a good day! That was until I went on my blind date. I ate garbage last night, Barbara...and loved it compared to the company I was with! I went out with Jimmy Kipper last night. He had roaming hands and and it was like "Wax on. Wax Off."! He'd slide his hand on and and I'd have to slide it off, over and over! I swear, I waxed him off so many times I think he should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man!"

Answer 4

Leroy Brown knew that he was worth far more than just working in a five dollar car wash. 'If it is the last thing I do, I am going back to night-school and get a diploma. I am going to make someone of myself. Meanwhile, here we go again. Wax on.......Wax off. Wax on.......Wax off.......wipe, and wipe.....shine and shine'. Such blues never stayed with our Leroy more than five or ten minutes and very soon he was singing. He had quite a good voice but his choice of song usually let him down.
'Ole man river, dat ole man river, he don't say nuttin, he sure..'. He was cut off mid bar by a redfaced little fat white man, more red than white, so much so that Leroy thought that he could easily be a red Indian or as he had been told off often enough, a native American. 'And I was having such a good day' he said as he approached the man. 'Boy, where's the Lincoln. Ain't she done' he shouted. 'Yes boss' Leroy had learned to be subserviant to all sorts of ignorant people. If it meant a five dollar tip, he was not above grovelling.
As he had said only yesterday to his young wife 'I ate garbage and crap last night, Barbara, and I ate garbage and crap today. But I have an extra sixty-five dollars in my pocket, so I will eat garbage and crap again tomorrow. I hated it and loved it at the same time. But only until I have enough money to go to nightschool'.
As one of the drivers brought the Lincoln around to the front, Leroy noticed that the little fat man was even redder than before and was leaning against a pillar. He went over and said 'Dat be five dollar sur' laying on the thick southern false accent. The man took out his wallet and without looking, tore off a fifty dollar bill and said 'Keep the change Kid, nice job'.
Leroy had been taught by his old grandfather that you should 'never look a gift horse in the mouth', so he didn't. He merely put the fifty in his pocket, took out a five and handed it to the cashier. He was happy with the result but a little worried for the man. He turned to the driver who had brought the car around and quietly said 'I think he should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off - I can see it on the man's face'.
Barbara stuck her head around the corner and called 'Leroy, you eaten yet'. 'No, not yet precious, but I got some great news' he answered. She merely waved a finger at him and scolded him by saying 'Please don;t say anything important 'till I come back'
Fifteen minutes later they were sitting on a bench in the park opposite the car wash. They talked very little as they ate their sandwiches and drank their cokes.
Suddenly, Leroy stopped mid bite. 'Lord, oh Lord' he exclaimed. 'What is it Leroy, you look like you've seen a ghost'. 'I think I have' he said still with the sandwich half way to his mouth. He nodded to a little white man with a red face who was talking to a much younger man. The younger man was heard by both of them to say 'Ooh, a cottage! How charming' and pointed to a gents toilet partially protected by some trees. Both of the men walked hand-in-hand towards it.
Leroy swears to this day that the younger man was none other than George Michael but records will show that he was at least fifteen hundred miles away at the time performing on stage. However, Leroy and Barbara still talk to this day about how much the little white red-faced man spent in fifties that afternoon........