My husband says I do nothing, and don't know what work is?

Question

Yet, I work 9 hours a day, an office job, I say 9 because the hour I get fro lunch I spend doing things that have to be done for our home to fuction. Anyway, before and after work, I tend to our 9 year old and 9 month old, cook, clean and have to do everything at home, while he does nothing, yet he does work hard when he's working he is a contrator and is away from home most of the time, but when he is home he does nothing. I have tried to do nothing while he is home so that he will realize exactly how much I do, but when I say that I can't ever seem to do it, cause if I didn't the house would really go to pot and the kids and myself would starve and the animals we have would go hungray as well. My question is how can I get him to do his share when he is home also, cause all he does when he is home is watch TV and drink beer?

Answer 1

Simple Dump him and go stay at ur friends house if he wants the house u kno if he doesn't want to support u and can't support himself then to the devil with him and get urself a good man that will actually care I mean do u think u'll b happy with him and ur children having to deal with him or wud u b happy without him and not having 2 worry abt him i mean u most likely will find another guy right? So i say dump him and take u and ur kids sumwhere they can b loved to 2 ppl who care.... So i say leave b4 u get hurt more and annoyed i mean if u do sumthing stupid then u'll regret it and this u probably won't regret cuz its a very smart thing to do i mean u deserve better!

Answer 2

Hire a cleaner to lessen your workload. Tell him you are doing two full time jobs and need help from somewhere, so if he's not prepared to help you, then he needs to pay for a cleaner. Some men think that housework and tending to the kids is a woman's job. Apparently, your partner is of this persuasion. He won't change because he's wired up that way. You can thank his parents for that one. Tell him you're willing to work 1 full time job, just like he does, but not two. He has no idea how much work is involved in the upkeep of a home, especially one with a 9 yr old and a 9 month old...And he probably never will. Good luck.

Answer 3

You could always sit in front of the tv and drink beer, too but you're right, nothing would get done. You do your share, if he doesn't see it, that's a shame. There are certain household duties that the husband should carry out, just as there are duties the wife should carry out. From the sounds of it, you two need to sit down and discuss who will do what. He doesn't have the right to tell you that you do nothing because he's the obvious couch potato in this situation. At least he has a job, he could be one of those husbands that sits around and collects unemployment, so there's one thing to be happy about. The key is communication, if he isn't willing to listen, there's a bigger problem than his laziness. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well for one just tell him that you need him to help you around the house or you will hire someone to help and you will have to make a budget and there will probably less beer inthe house. HE will look at you funny first then he will say " Your serious aren't you" Well tell him yea because I really need the help. ANd if doesn't help just get someone to help you. Or ask him if he wants to make a bet? ANd if he says OK what? TEll him lets change sides for a week, you clean, cook, take care of the kids and I'll jus sit there watch TV and drink beer. ANd then tell him, then when the week's over, you can tell me I don't do nothing, guess I don't but you have to do it all week. DEAL. But he will not go for it because he won't last a day. Especially cooking and changing diapers.

Answer 5

well i had that problem with myself. I am a single mother of a disabled child. i was traveling to work driving an hour to get there in the morning. working a 9 or 10 hour day, then driving an hour back home. by the time i got home i was exhausted. so i hired a cleaning service to come in. they did the initial cleaning then they came in twice a month and cleaned up. it worked out well. after i found another job 20 minutes away, and shorter hours, i did not need them anymore. it did not cost a lot, but you can call around and compare prices. you are feeling overwhelmed and unfortunately instead of your husband pitching in to do his share. he is trying to make you feel inadequate. dont sink, get some help. let it come out of the household budget. also try to talk to him but dont be surprised if he refuses to changes. he sounds kinda of archaic. like he is stuck in the 1950's. well it is 2007 and both husband and wife should do their share now.

Answer 6

I had the same problem and @ times I still do. He's being a jackass and you should treat him like one. This is 2007 and you work just like he does but harder. If you don't feel like cooking-dont. If you dont feel like washing dishes-dont. If you dont feel like having sex-dont. start shutting him down and let him know how you feel and thing should change. If he won't change, go visit friends or family for a couple of days to let him know youre serious. Then seek counseling and there you may be able to reach some kind of compromise. Good luck

Answer 7

i read this email joke thing and it reminds me of your situation, i will tell you what the gist of it is, just stay in bed all day, and do nothing since he says you do nomthing, of course take care of the baby, but nothing else. or talk about it one day and set aside a few days and tell him you are on strike. that is the only way to demonstrate what you do since people need a visual for realization. i am sure talking to him about gets you nowhere fast. or you can make a list and show him, but again, i am sure you did that when talking - or fighting- with him. i will you much luck. or go on vacation, and make him take care of everything for a couple of days.

Answer 8

Wow, you are totally pulling more than your own weight. I'd go on strike! Stop doing housework besides your own and kids' laundry, don't buy his beer when you go shopping, and let him fix his own meals. It will not take long for him to notice. If he doesn't get the point than you two need some couples counseling. Good luck!

Answer 9

you sound exactly like me. two kids, pets, two full time jobs. yet he does nothing but watch tv and drink beer. made me crazy, turns out he was an alcoholic. not saying your husband is, but that's why my husband seemed "absent" from our home and family. i say go to counseling. sometimes a third party can make him see how much you do. good luck.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you do quite a bit of work both at home and at the office. He sounds very chauvinistic to me. I think you ought to discuss your problems with him and even cut him off from sex if he does not straighten up. You could even tell him you are going to get a maid to help you out. See what he says.